tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49397536863363022592024-03-14T09:01:26.655+08:00Nevermore NonsenseRyan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-11320326107731713622013-12-03T18:39:00.001+08:002015-05-15T00:14:53.413+08:005 Things Customer Service Won't Tell You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Because you are part of civilization, most probably you have
called customer service at some point. Whether it is your cable connection betraying your trust by acting up (therefore robbing you of <i>Glee’s</i> Brittany-Santana intimate moment),
or your Internet bill going into steroids and is getting jacked up ever
since, or you struggling to find your phone’s “On” button and you feel
waiting on the queue for hours to scream on top your throat to the other
guy on the phone is totally worth it.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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But, just like the CIA or the Illuminati, hiding in those
amusing hospitality and high-pitched selling spiels is a dungeon of covert
operations and secrets that keeps customer service’s workings smooth and clockwork,
and at the same time minimizing the number or profanity and racial slurs being
thrown unto them. And no, they will not tell you those secrets, because they
will only make you look outright stupid.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Like Daffy
Duck-stupid.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But fuck it, here are five of them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1. They Are Rushing Your Call <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Customer service, no matter what form it takes, is a matter
of speed. If you go to the local McDonald’s, or the nearest grocery store in
your area, you can see that the person behind the counter will always take your
order or scan your purchases as quickly as possible, unless you are trying to
be an asshole and make things take longer because you are high and it
definitely makes sense at that time.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Hi, can I order a Big Mac, but without the cheese, lettuce, </i><br />
<i>tomato, buns, and patties and just get a pasta instead?"</i><br />
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And it is only logical; customer service business. Faster service means more customers, and more customers mean more
money. If you have been responsible back in your childhood and set up a lemonade stand and/or a monthly
garage sale instead of wasting time playing <i>The Legend of Zelda</i>, then it will make
sense instantly to you.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If it's the Ocarina of Time, then it's not a waste of time. It's the <i>Casa Blanca</i> of video games.</td></tr>
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Customer care over the phone is no different. Each agent has
an <a href="http://searchcrm.techtarget.com/definition/average-handle-time">Average
Handling Time</a> (AHT) as part of his/her daily scores to maintain. AHT is the average amount of time an agent takes to solve a caller’s concern. And mind you, not all calls are the same; it can
range from a simple inquiry about a device’s aforementioned switch button <i>(“You can find the "On" button on the upper right corner
of the phone. Also, ever heard of manuals?”</i>) to an entire explanation of
why the bill has gone up so high which is anything but concise <i>(“Mr. Jones, let me explain to you what
happened. And please hold on because I will give you a fuckton of information that
I am pretty sure you will never instantly understand”</i>). </div>
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This score will decide whether he/she may or may not stay in the company for long (along with attendance, tardiness, and how many times he/she was caught playing <i>Carrot Fantasy </i>in his/her station). Because of this, Average Handling Time (or AHT) is a big deal for them, it is basically the shit.</div>
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A call center representative’s constant job is to balance
out the length of these calls and make sure he/she reaches the total calls’ minimum
time. And it is not easy. It is a matter of multi-tasking. Each agent
navigates gazillions of tools; follow a multitude of policies, and at the same
time talk to you, the customer, in a fashion like they are not breaking any sweat at
all. It is equivalent to balancing a spreadsheet and playing Call of Duty, all
while giving your girlfriend a rhetorical, persuasive, and non-hurtful
explanation why that shirt is making her fat.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiljJjxBam9kA_O2mJrfFTtKDKSdPLOqY2EcUNmYHzs7Wrkouh-vV-_Y_-_C302HecPMexPk1hMRUaCobs_Gr3wpJ1FyW5JOUMzZJVVeR_x9cuSIUzbFBmdyALv6y0ucpuVGV2LelckoQ62/s1600/file0001322025003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiljJjxBam9kA_O2mJrfFTtKDKSdPLOqY2EcUNmYHzs7Wrkouh-vV-_Y_-_C302HecPMexPk1hMRUaCobs_Gr3wpJ1FyW5JOUMzZJVVeR_x9cuSIUzbFBmdyALv6y0ucpuVGV2LelckoQ62/s320/file0001322025003.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>You're going to break up with me anyway. It's the fat.</i></td></tr>
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And Average Handling Time does not end on the time the
customer hung-up (or slammed, depending on how the conversation went), a part
of it is the <a href="http://www.contactcenterworld.com/define.aspx?id=f4bfc1ce9a234d97b7a28e32d999a43e">After
Call Work</a>, or the length of time a representative is <i>not </i>talking to anyone
over the phone. This is being used to document everything that transpired on
the call, so that the next agent who will get the call will have an idea what shit
happened previously.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Ft8IoQ1zoZNYYzUkZl8EJaqHwYVCeqyQwCHxBQ72XwX7LKiAMU614x69CpqcnqTBb_9Rn1VZrHu8-shXGs0JqUhG0o2ySIbwmyWIt2GSyAtZwg7BMEWdI99aBipbjPovlSt3CNgqnXqz/s1600/agent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Ft8IoQ1zoZNYYzUkZl8EJaqHwYVCeqyQwCHxBQ72XwX7LKiAMU614x69CpqcnqTBb_9Rn1VZrHu8-shXGs0JqUhG0o2ySIbwmyWIt2GSyAtZwg7BMEWdI99aBipbjPovlSt3CNgqnXqz/s320/agent.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Thank you for calling. How can you send me to a crippling depression today?</i></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">2. Screaming And Swearing Over The Phone Is Not Going
To Help You</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzWgf6E0KY0yToF_PkiBAZPdHZvJOsi5y22uccwEfes8qaEwte1sEf2dLc7hg5eRumQkOfQjfMvGxdiB2ad09sLhm-9db70ec23D9PLWcg2wZ70sZcn-rVFADgYDQhKuRKzVdqVKzWO9jl/s1600/angry+customer.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzWgf6E0KY0yToF_PkiBAZPdHZvJOsi5y22uccwEfes8qaEwte1sEf2dLc7hg5eRumQkOfQjfMvGxdiB2ad09sLhm-9db70ec23D9PLWcg2wZ70sZcn-rVFADgYDQhKuRKzVdqVKzWO9jl/s640/angry+customer.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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In the spirit of altruism and respect for others, you already know the fact that being an asshole over the phone is bad, as long as you are seating on your couch, eating ice cream, watching TV, and everything is going well for you.
But the second that number “2” button on the remote goes nuts, or the Internet
won’t put Farmville on the monitor, then that shit will instantly go down the
drain. Suddenly you will have all the rights to talk down to the representative on the phone like he/she is the most useless and most stinking person on the planet.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnTsstZARXRrVe6imx_D3iB-y6KB_EQ-ipiPdcpRwMasFK9Rs6uUiPgBcTY6XZGJEXDNB8m1RGp7JxT84rg6tXZs_UWyOf3hIoGb0sE8q3N79dQNFQZT7zppOgtlmLMiLFAwwZozcpkNy/s1600/agry+customer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnTsstZARXRrVe6imx_D3iB-y6KB_EQ-ipiPdcpRwMasFK9Rs6uUiPgBcTY6XZGJEXDNB8m1RGp7JxT84rg6tXZs_UWyOf3hIoGb0sE8q3N79dQNFQZT7zppOgtlmLMiLFAwwZozcpkNy/s320/agry+customer.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I can actually smell here what you had for lunch!</i></td></tr>
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And it is understandable. You are not actually mad
at whomever the unfortunate being that picks up the phone, you are actually upset
at the company, or more specifically, to its faulty service. So it is normal
that you will vent your anger to the company’s voice on the phone,
i.e. the customer service agent.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0yUWTJgMFx3EHP-zi7z4_WYzxw2lAPZnYLcabX_JBxeInOBURsbpuxPCEZ3vG3XN-mGJOXpsfb6zhO_Bb9XlHBUHNFwoMSYpqT_TmX-RGBipRLKQ3jaj3N5J7ZjDfmFQfbS5xLqpiWlo5/s1600/DVD+drive+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0yUWTJgMFx3EHP-zi7z4_WYzxw2lAPZnYLcabX_JBxeInOBURsbpuxPCEZ3vG3XN-mGJOXpsfb6zhO_Bb9XlHBUHNFwoMSYpqT_TmX-RGBipRLKQ3jaj3N5J7ZjDfmFQfbS5xLqpiWlo5/s400/DVD+drive+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Hey IBM. I'm an old person and your coffee cup holder keeps drawing in. I don't deserve this.</i></td></tr>
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But let us look at it in a rather different way. Supposed you have this friend asking for your advice because he and his girlfriend are heading up to breakup-ville. And like every understanding and caring friend ready to lend a helping hand, you empatheticaly asked what is going on, and promised that you will never, ever let him down.</div>
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But instead of thanking you and sharing what he is going through, he started by going asshole on you, raising his voice, hurling profanities, calling you names, slandering your family, and going through all the ‘yo mama lines you’ve heard since<i> 8 Mile</i> despite the fact that you are completely not part of his problems. He’s not on dope. He’s just upset. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjECwPFnDHvd8iIfte1WhhcOaxJ6I3iS2IGGTtZBUeu8OTZjF5QNkRU4R9lyIx6K_36Hnlkl0BSPh_uPjR1KIW6jtuGLjHE29JmUPLnYq1cUctzKL_yHkGDHOFvDIDhfYcE3iG6MwPoNlY/s1600/shout-let-it-all-out-1327383-m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjECwPFnDHvd8iIfte1WhhcOaxJ6I3iS2IGGTtZBUeu8OTZjF5QNkRU4R9lyIx6K_36Hnlkl0BSPh_uPjR1KIW6jtuGLjHE29JmUPLnYq1cUctzKL_yHkGDHOFvDIDhfYcE3iG6MwPoNlY/s1600/shout-let-it-all-out-1327383-m.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>When you were born, the doctor slapped your mom!</i></td></tr>
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Now, if you are thinking this guy deserves all the attention and sympathy the world can give because you see, he’s really, really sad and upset, then you must be a very good person (also, you don't exist). On the other hand, if you suddenly feel apathetic towards him and think he can go fuck himself all day, then you are facing the daily predicament of a customer care representative. </div>
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And that’s only one asshole ruining your day. In an actual call center setting, representatives will have to deal with a hundred of these hotheads every single freaking day, and that’s for the relaxed days (weekends and holidays). During Mondays, where <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law">Murphy’s Law</a> is the strongest, and the probability of a customer to go from “calm, civilized, and understanding” to “Oh God he’s going on Hulk-rage!” is the highest, this number doubles. Add to that those days where the provider’s system is down, then you can count that all callers to be like our proverbial guy. </div>
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All customer service agents are capable and are willing to be on your side and help you as soon as you reasonably tell them the issue at hand. But if you start with a barrage of screams and verbal assaults in the first 30 minutes of the call, then not only you wasted precious 30 minutes over the phone, but the agent will spend also more minutes trying to calm you down like a toddler on an irrational tantrum before heading straight to the solution. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCSxa573_XiGLol8fiBayc2FfYyyNWoxwHkERhgasXHx6mx-0p1L48Sm2T-wRGwzFMVW80CFLONk1zjA9763aa_AKYpjZwo-W7JaSUxAzUTBXA86ai5uukF5BvHyQQtPQitJ5NwghSA9wZ/s1600/destroyed+iphone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCSxa573_XiGLol8fiBayc2FfYyyNWoxwHkERhgasXHx6mx-0p1L48Sm2T-wRGwzFMVW80CFLONk1zjA9763aa_AKYpjZwo-W7JaSUxAzUTBXA86ai5uukF5BvHyQQtPQitJ5NwghSA9wZ/s320/destroyed+iphone.jpg" width="261" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I understand that you're upset right now. But have you tried turning it off and on?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What’s worse, you might put the agent on the defensive or panic mode, which will heavily impair his/her ability to soundly discern the situation. Remember, they are working on a clockwork analysis on each call here. Just imagine if Tom Cruise in <i>Mission: Impossible</i> is trying desperately to detonate a time bomb while Vhing Rames is repeatedly telling him on top of his lungs that he is a borderline lunatic and a Scientology member, it not only makes Tom fail in frustration (and the bomb explodes), it also makes Vhing look stupid as hell.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJUUlTZ0qK_k425pSgoQbSUkMVZLmm06mVQSC8Hw6ARskViAHzVcxQP7hvonofsgCz839SeV8gG1636MT-t6uYXoa_Rl9pVWm7DhiY_vQeevchAAGOstnhLIgblrLiDTQ0AUsxZqly-qys/s1600/tom+jumping+on+couch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJUUlTZ0qK_k425pSgoQbSUkMVZLmm06mVQSC8Hw6ARskViAHzVcxQP7hvonofsgCz839SeV8gG1636MT-t6uYXoa_Rl9pVWm7DhiY_vQeevchAAGOstnhLIgblrLiDTQ0AUsxZqly-qys/s400/tom+jumping+on+couch.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still, this was IMF's worst failure.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But then again, right before they go down the proper solution, most probably than not, they already curbed your anger, that’s because…</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">3. They Are Using Jedi Mind Tricks On
You<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDS6UfI8-mSgHgjUgO3I2TSrVx_by9tXuA6XPkqwXL_MSN1_zBU03hgS3bztnvUilR8Trn8zJ1eGUFVqWfPu7wCMrZSNUg20Xt5bLXzJW2jfkzF8vf_BJ8klYqgU2yYGnuuihnI7iir_Ps/s1600/QuiGonMindTrick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDS6UfI8-mSgHgjUgO3I2TSrVx_by9tXuA6XPkqwXL_MSN1_zBU03hgS3bztnvUilR8Trn8zJ1eGUFVqWfPu7wCMrZSNUg20Xt5bLXzJW2jfkzF8vf_BJ8klYqgU2yYGnuuihnI7iir_Ps/s640/QuiGonMindTrick.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Based on the statistics of the types of callers mentioned
above, we can surmise that for every 100 people an agent will be talking to
over the phone in a day, 70 of those will be angry customers who somehow think
that an agent’s accent is the best barometer of his ability to resolve problems,
20 will be people who express their problems in a calm and politically
correct way, seven will be asking for credits, and at least three will be drunk
guys repeatedly asking how they got there in the first place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMiIe9f-Bz-K2L3nSR3lhBrVSqYvGoGw0xenhEhSuOfl8rJb-6Q5QNFrq7FVPh9mmHFuWGT2AO66MPJhsNjMbccTYNpzEzTS7bluVUMrXIVc82p0jDIvzmHrPGe3RXYXRwOfw3HEDXw1Fb/s1600/drunk+guy+on+phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMiIe9f-Bz-K2L3nSR3lhBrVSqYvGoGw0xenhEhSuOfl8rJb-6Q5QNFrq7FVPh9mmHFuWGT2AO66MPJhsNjMbccTYNpzEzTS7bluVUMrXIVc82p0jDIvzmHrPGe3RXYXRwOfw3HEDXw1Fb/s320/drunk+guy+on+phone.jpg" width="308" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>We were taking the last few drops off the bong. And then </i><i>you were </i><i>there .</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You might be asking, with all these numbers, how come these money transfer/cable/telecom companies are not constantly bleeding of their customers, and most agents are coming out in one piece with the issue resolved?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because mind-control, that’s why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPrqr-D9n2wHJStZ53z2DEs6hWhYsWulN1DK6lcPtsQ5CVMNq24CGGMIu4k8iu1Qaqqpl5VHqYaoKiLehYh1za9C2vzQ0w_ZPuD6SBcCjXDSCDVlxxIcgWs96tmmGuTt_vPgRuYXDecJE/s1600/obi+wan+mind+trick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPrqr-D9n2wHJStZ53z2DEs6hWhYsWulN1DK6lcPtsQ5CVMNq24CGGMIu4k8iu1Qaqqpl5VHqYaoKiLehYh1za9C2vzQ0w_ZPuD6SBcCjXDSCDVlxxIcgWs96tmmGuTt_vPgRuYXDecJE/s320/obi+wan+mind+trick.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No. Not this kind. But we wish it is.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You see, every call is a hostage negotiation. When you, as the customer, phone in, you are demanding for something (help, credits, or adjustments) which cannot be ignored. If this demand will not be met, then no one will stop you from slashing the throat of your hostage which is your loyalty/subscription to the company. And yes, most of these calls are successfully being resolved.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During the entire <a href="http://bpmgeek.com/blog/call-flow-process-bpocontact-center">call flow</a>, every single word, sentence structure, verbal ticks, and tone being used by the representatives is designed to remove your guard and subdue your anger. It starts when the representative fires up the opening
spiel. It follows the traditional greeting/company branding/agent’s name/offer
of help formula. It sounds like this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>“Thank you for calling Verizon. My name is Joe. How may I help you?”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite being a complete incognito (you won’t see the representative’s face), it is imperative that he/she gives his/her name over the phone, as this will invite and build trust on you. You will feel assured that you are talking to a human being and not a machine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRcFpXp48hKBoq4T2HHk-ajfL04N_e2dWXRMVAOCscmgQISXhvqaFD29M8m2UbXycWEoNQeWEf6rd_zP_a-riAorPcXP2JH91uG8Nx5INdPq44OcIexIkg5Mc0-odh7m6FCg3UsAYRu-2T/s1600/Arnie+Terminator+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRcFpXp48hKBoq4T2HHk-ajfL04N_e2dWXRMVAOCscmgQISXhvqaFD29M8m2UbXycWEoNQeWEf6rd_zP_a-riAorPcXP2JH91uG8Nx5INdPq44OcIexIkg5Mc0-odh7m6FCg3UsAYRu-2T/s400/Arnie+Terminator+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Especially NOT this machine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And after you cried out the issue at hand, the representative will have to follow another pattern called “I EAT” (yes, that’s the actual acronym).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-msQfuntjZseaJ8bzryjYhHKK35WrSkzBXb_2ZFdK-L_QA3EOjObMgPikNROsPWubECnPAwG2DMyCM80bU_NjV3-7bPT2dz9CZbX_lhdKcLjti_tuboeUbahUMSOURWEL753ENcEzvet/s1600/taco.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-msQfuntjZseaJ8bzryjYhHKK35WrSkzBXb_2ZFdK-L_QA3EOjObMgPikNROsPWubECnPAwG2DMyCM80bU_NjV3-7bPT2dz9CZbX_lhdKcLjti_tuboeUbahUMSOURWEL753ENcEzvet/s320/taco.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">T.A.C.O. has already been taken.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It stands for Initiate, Empathize, Apologize, and Taking ownership of the concern, which doesn’t seem like things that go together in a normal conversation. It goes like this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Initiate response)<i> “If that happens to me, I will be frustrated, too</i> (Empathy).<i> I apologize for what happened</i> (Apology).<i> Let me handle this for you</i> (Taking ownership of the concern).”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje6JCfhvrvNkz5G16w-J0n313el3BVjITUh0OAZK3pW0VJ5vIn6Oni90nll-kZj_bmtVW6RRu0jqCotSqf_HwqMMZCTe6AAAche1i335GASL2HXN1VNxMQW9Rnjk8PfL7nvzC4SUxdxAGt/s1600/i+eat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje6JCfhvrvNkz5G16w-J0n313el3BVjITUh0OAZK3pW0VJ5vIn6Oni90nll-kZj_bmtVW6RRu0jqCotSqf_HwqMMZCTe6AAAche1i335GASL2HXN1VNxMQW9Rnjk8PfL7nvzC4SUxdxAGt/s320/i+eat.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I EAT guys like you for breakfast!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
The representative might sound like a complete pussy, cowering in fear, and ready to give the other cheek. But this response is outlined to absorb your venting. With that response, he/she won’t sound like he/she doesn’t give shit about your concern. The agent’s response will make him/her sound like you are on the same shoes and will go all the way to help you. Because just saying <i>“Meh. Alright</i>” just won’t cut it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And this verbal manipulation and syntax engineering goes all the way throughout the conversation. For example, if an agent needs to agree or confirm on a question, he/she cannot just plainly say “yes” to affirm you, but he/she needs to use <a href="http://www.callcentrehelper.com/the-top-25-positive-words-and-phrases-1847.htm">positive words</a> such as ‘’<i>definitely</i>”, “<i>absolutely</i>”, "<i>sure enough"</i> or “<i>Jesus Christ you are brilliant how’d you even know that?</i>” even to the simplest queries. It adds weight to the reply, and creates a strong effect to you that you really, really matter, thus diffusing any trace of anger, frustration, or doubt in you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigW6Z90u_UcHU1T9o1DbVUC9y_5Mvwtlzg8vckga17lD2zy8CqhuNngX8Hbnwj6Un1NQnYuGvvlvgfDY1XsQk4bSSzeI4bGYefcp_S_dP-Ahp65HmX4Z9DKMRpme6lryMG7NW5Paywllit/s1600/uhm+yeah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigW6Z90u_UcHU1T9o1DbVUC9y_5Mvwtlzg8vckga17lD2zy8CqhuNngX8Hbnwj6Un1NQnYuGvvlvgfDY1XsQk4bSSzeI4bGYefcp_S_dP-Ahp65HmX4Z9DKMRpme6lryMG7NW5Paywllit/s400/uhm+yeah.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's like "<i>Hmm. Yeah."</i> But on steroids.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An agent normally undergoes from two weeks to two months of language training (that he/she strictly needs to pass) before even proceeding to the basics of the product knowledge. And by “language” we mean what shit he/she will need to respond to the customer that goes ballistic because he couldn’t find the <i>Any Key</i> to boot up his computer. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlOq5B_MConJklIc0U93NYZcwENSGaoj7dPejA84kp45Hf92dMvB_maq60ces-bxduqc6O00Ij5lyXbCSPWp1xytSw50JedvBcbMFVJ3d4VVFrYKwjeEx_Thr68u8LEx9IeEghAhJtEIvJ/s1600/any+key.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlOq5B_MConJklIc0U93NYZcwENSGaoj7dPejA84kp45Hf92dMvB_maq60ces-bxduqc6O00Ij5lyXbCSPWp1xytSw50JedvBcbMFVJ3d4VVFrYKwjeEx_Thr68u8LEx9IeEghAhJtEIvJ/s400/any+key.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Expect to hear from my lawyer about this.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">4. Requesting Directly For A Supervisor </span></b><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Does Not Make Any Sense<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge8-ucsCqDeObCaMhVw_fJ4UJ1Rr-y1lS_WyabOhnhSFjOQu3SZNMk8Cp1B9iDChCKA3G4hvT_b13KRhqrVElwqIoUUwDD4VPYOtdm40e098xJeYVmxu9K4EExGcih299kEZA4D8W62MeQ/s1600/supervisor.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge8-ucsCqDeObCaMhVw_fJ4UJ1Rr-y1lS_WyabOhnhSFjOQu3SZNMk8Cp1B9iDChCKA3G4hvT_b13KRhqrVElwqIoUUwDD4VPYOtdm40e098xJeYVmxu9K4EExGcih299kEZA4D8W62MeQ/s640/supervisor.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
So you are currently so into blasting Customer Support with your frustration because a game blackout is preventing you from watching the Red Sox and Indians match, spewing a triple combo of popcorn, Colt 45, and verbal threats because you know you don’t deserve it (a game blackout is when a network, cable provider, or the local government decides not to broadcast a local game, so that people will pay and have their asses on the stadium/sports venue to watch the event, because you know, money).<br />
<br />
But three minutes into the call, you immediately asked for a supervisor, because you don’t want to waste more time speaking with the Indian/Arabic/Filipino/Chinese representative, and his/her boss must probably have an Intelligence Quotient of above 300 and will resolve your concern in no time, right?<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyptfP0eTdGHtl7GaWn8QshR2bWJD_Ls3EHRMOM1bL5Lv3Y_rIBoNEb840riWBXx4R_wvN4krq4-EM6xWUSGRNcS2On7z8V_mlM3A0K3KQweyUa__QDT7leo4yq1bYHNIEvv3hbxFTNU_/s1600/binoculars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyptfP0eTdGHtl7GaWn8QshR2bWJD_Ls3EHRMOM1bL5Lv3Y_rIBoNEb840riWBXx4R_wvN4krq4-EM6xWUSGRNcS2On7z8V_mlM3A0K3KQweyUa__QDT7leo4yq1bYHNIEvv3hbxFTNU_/s1600/binoculars.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm sorry Ma'am, but what do you mean with "can we speak in binocular"?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
No. And most probably than not, you are not speaking with a real supervisor. </div>
<div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You see, a call center is like a sweatshop, but instead of hundreds of sweaty, abused, and stressed children making shoes, it has hundreds of casually-clothed, abused, and stressed grown-ups taking calls. These agents are divided into groups called “teams” which is headed by a supervisor.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfgcDo34QUHwOE0rSm-73ayRWJ3vOLKvENEX_k_mtr3_bBcq_fGfOlMWpk9wDaqu_Hl1qoFokKu3g1gR3LQyuq6rH4xojt-7l8F25QLW5EjxeyszJE-gRqSkrh3_phgxkIMp9wGtr9QTwc/s1600/Agent+smith.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfgcDo34QUHwOE0rSm-73ayRWJ3vOLKvENEX_k_mtr3_bBcq_fGfOlMWpk9wDaqu_Hl1qoFokKu3g1gR3LQyuq6rH4xojt-7l8F25QLW5EjxeyszJE-gRqSkrh3_phgxkIMp9wGtr9QTwc/s400/Agent+smith.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On the other hand, if it's Agent Smith, time to take the blue pill. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now, each of these agent gives jillions of data like length of call, number of customers waiting, average handling time, number of calls, hold time, and number of profanities endured which the supervisor monitors, reports, and takes actions. That means in any given moment, he/she is constantly occupied and juggling with all this numbers, therefore has no time to give shit about your rants. </div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, who the hell is taking your call, pretending to be a supervisor? Did the agent just handed over his headset to his seat mate and called it a day? Of course not, the Escalations do.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Pzvjz8BswCSWkVhyRb-i5Md6-vghwu1wzNTCupH0wZ_rvhZ1PdDCluV4KLNtBYSRxfAAPrsT0jmzr3wuVmusZfIMwwzB0fxbBIkjXJEz8lh9UCWx5VXSTLgXQFJ9RlP8-RKvxd-mY0Sn/s1600/blood+pressure.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Pzvjz8BswCSWkVhyRb-i5Md6-vghwu1wzNTCupH0wZ_rvhZ1PdDCluV4KLNtBYSRxfAAPrsT0jmzr3wuVmusZfIMwwzB0fxbBIkjXJEz8lh9UCWx5VXSTLgXQFJ9RlP8-RKvxd-mY0Sn/s400/blood+pressure.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Named such after your blood pressure at that point.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The Escalations go with other names like Account Specialists, Call Specialist, and yes, Supervisors. Their job is to take every call that ended with a <i>“Can I speak with a Manager?”</i> And no, they don’t have any other people under them, nor do they directly report to the company president. They are just a group of specialized agents who knows a bit more about the product/service/policy, has a longer handling time limit, and has five bucks more in their credit authority (the amount of credit/adjustment they can provide). And the result is a representative who is friendlier, more confident, and more knowledgeable; something the front line agent can be if only you just gave him/her more time to resolve your concern.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbzpjE46hSkMIHFR_vSJJIwlfoLnmBnG7XMhuoUnyjNaluSYTOIQTQJTe6MMizByFwOv2fNISj6Qbh_FprVcIIZ2FIjWKOi8f1qKBG5C5xocnMOeJI8rSqbXpOsNPI4F149bPtjGM8NQRl/s1600/A-team.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbzpjE46hSkMIHFR_vSJJIwlfoLnmBnG7XMhuoUnyjNaluSYTOIQTQJTe6MMizByFwOv2fNISj6Qbh_FprVcIIZ2FIjWKOi8f1qKBG5C5xocnMOeJI8rSqbXpOsNPI4F149bPtjGM8NQRl/s320/A-team.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They're like the A-Team. But with more phone time.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Well, this is the structure in some centers. Sometimes the real supervisors will really take your call, because the agent knows jackshit about what he’s talking about. At least you have the big guns now, because you know, he’s the manager, right?<br />
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Again, not necessarily. That supervisor might be the Hannibal Lecter of all the representatives on the floor back then, able to resolve all problems faster than anyone else without raising a single pulse, but those glorious days of taking calls are over. His/her job now is to manage his subordinate’s performance scores and to yell to the representative who keeps mouth-breathing on the phone.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKDhqfqDisd2Yh8eHcA2feaeiykOSgjNt69mQNcHGINKJi02LfPl_7sG822LDjEgwD5Uq_vST78sRZBbgJ8A4ZMxWCY6vY-7dIz7KII72MJ06XGQYqQc89MUNmFiRvqas7m9x8CLUSG_dv/s1600/hannibal+lecter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKDhqfqDisd2Yh8eHcA2feaeiykOSgjNt69mQNcHGINKJi02LfPl_7sG822LDjEgwD5Uq_vST78sRZBbgJ8A4ZMxWCY6vY-7dIz7KII72MJ06XGQYqQc89MUNmFiRvqas7m9x8CLUSG_dv/s320/hannibal+lecter.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Stop it. Or I'll have you for dinner. </i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The agent you are speaking with earlier on the other hand, has already taken that kind of call for God knows how many times already, making him/her the expert for that matter and the perfect person to resolve your concern. But since you seem to have this eschewed notion that a manager does things better, you resort to speak with a guy who has the authority to drop the call (if really needed) and gives less shit about his handling time.<br />
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But if the supervisor cannot give what you want, at least threatening to let your subscription fly out the window will give him/her shivers and give in to your demands, right? Well…<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">5. Threatening To Cancel Your Account
Is Not A Threat At All<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB3kZjcaU8G-zKMVuyrrfmY_8QjQFJI7hNC2P8HUdr-e9ZR8SxghZHMzPqi4qsxhCWYeh53Lb-TkCNG-T8nhO0yyxmGeA-KIvSVRc3jAkgrctsGn58RaIvA9SU7SrqIvlGXZCA63cQVGGT/s1600/bjab0m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB3kZjcaU8G-zKMVuyrrfmY_8QjQFJI7hNC2P8HUdr-e9ZR8SxghZHMzPqi4qsxhCWYeh53Lb-TkCNG-T8nhO0yyxmGeA-KIvSVRc3jAkgrctsGn58RaIvA9SU7SrqIvlGXZCA63cQVGGT/s640/bjab0m.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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We all know you, as the customer, deserve the best service possible. Hell, you are paying for it. You are the very reason why the company is still standing and in the course of smooth and prosperous operation. Basically, you are its sustaining lifeblood.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhehd2kyiyVPBauS9eRm2O6KoYIdSviGhlC5gdKCymm6TB_hjwo-m8oHtZ8WpGtMnssZawzYAY5pnGdEVsYu_7gm5ptaYKZtaOfhgtt4euVUSyYbfldfjpbcN1QF9e9NiUd-ZeBhEJExRCo/s1600/boss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhehd2kyiyVPBauS9eRm2O6KoYIdSviGhlC5gdKCymm6TB_hjwo-m8oHtZ8WpGtMnssZawzYAY5pnGdEVsYu_7gm5ptaYKZtaOfhgtt4euVUSyYbfldfjpbcN1QF9e9NiUd-ZeBhEJExRCo/s400/boss.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Phil, your ungracious boss, is the putrid vile that runs along the liver.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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That means a customer giving up his loyalty to the company/product will be like a significant chomp, if not a death warrant, to the company’s revenue. Definitely, there cannot be only one customer trying to cancel his account each day. And letting go this bunch will create enough aggregates to pull a company down to its knees. Therefore, if a customer blurted out the lines <i>“I would like to cancel my account”</i>, the representative is actually hearing Voltron screaming <i>“Form Blazing Sword!”</i> That means shit just got serious, and the customer is giving his ultimatum.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Ht5EWkYuYf9lHZPD1kqpKzh4nnfAXr5k0yPMPExgaft7tkuXiah8_kycO5w-jCgYGC2Ye4SQc6RhTfbtsVceWQUQu8-USjvTLleCfAu0Ka7j94d7LlGvNA120jxL3eNubFhYaBrzHunq/s1600/sven.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Ht5EWkYuYf9lHZPD1kqpKzh4nnfAXr5k0yPMPExgaft7tkuXiah8_kycO5w-jCgYGC2Ye4SQc6RhTfbtsVceWQUQu8-USjvTLleCfAu0Ka7j94d7LlGvNA120jxL3eNubFhYaBrzHunq/s320/sven.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Let's finish th- wait, guys. Why am I in the damn crotch?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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You see, just like in Google and Facebook, where every goddamn thing you search, declare, write, or post will decide which product advertisement will rush in to your face, customer service works the same. Every time you declare to take your business elsewhere, it will have an impact in your customer profile, dragging your ranking from “very loyal and patronizing” to “possible risk factor and therefore should never get hold of a knife”. Given, the retention department might have saved you, but that attempt you made might deprive you of freebies, discounts, credits, and upgrades that you should been enjoying if only you didn’t turn into a lunatic and started screaming over the phone.<br />
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OK, you might be asking, why are these providers messing-up with the customers if they are the ones who are giving shitty services and false promises? Well first, not all companies are doing this, and second, because business.<br />
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Smart business practice dictates that you make the unhappy customers happy, and more importantly, make the happy ones, well, happier. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyy0YZRkgbbh92O2BT9_Lqn_7Y0Fp3FXaWIejLo7FL_H0rFHLEYVHgUscLUBdYu-ZtPLnOPx2sZ7oCvtYAPDQpix_O8D-mnDg8Hw-3nfexPxLXotzyH9zhfJNNuzzB1EtCtJdQbYSGpACq/s1600/pipe+smoker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyy0YZRkgbbh92O2BT9_Lqn_7Y0Fp3FXaWIejLo7FL_H0rFHLEYVHgUscLUBdYu-ZtPLnOPx2sZ7oCvtYAPDQpix_O8D-mnDg8Hw-3nfexPxLXotzyH9zhfJNNuzzB1EtCtJdQbYSGpACq/s1600/pipe+smoker.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You know, like five-days-on-weed-already happy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
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<div>
Some business models are founded on this tenet. They make more money by keeping hold of satisfied customers and prolonging their stay. After all, the focus is not just to minimize churn rate (the rate at which subscribers go to a different company), but to increase customer lifetime value (or CLV, the value of each intact customer) as well. Because you know, the longer you stay in a company, the more perks, add-ons, or upgrades you take advantage of, and the more you pay. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8qPRcCN6x4wWKJG_ovgbcb8cWIGBmyuasf9G7jp3bqS83Qq_lJsnn92jQCVrUkdbbI5nPPWtTZp13JHqqGkHu2sIqWZxfB7TON-Gkxv4JOHtAbI9F6z7c1n5wCv0QpHVIJ7aGC7B4euZc/s1600/slot+machine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8qPRcCN6x4wWKJG_ovgbcb8cWIGBmyuasf9G7jp3bqS83Qq_lJsnn92jQCVrUkdbbI5nPPWtTZp13JHqqGkHu2sIqWZxfB7TON-Gkxv4JOHtAbI9F6z7c1n5wCv0QpHVIJ7aGC7B4euZc/s400/slot+machine.jpg" width="242" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The slot machine uses the same business model.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
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<div>
Also, when you threaten to take your business somewhere else, the company interprets this as a negative and unsatisfied reaction to their service or payment terms, meaning it will be riskier for them offering you more promotions, upgrades, or even a new device that you will potentially cancel in the future, resulting loss in revenue for them. Not to mention the process of pursuing you, your bank, or the credit bureau for money you still owe is long and stressful, because you know, you are a jerk and you can’t keep your shit together. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBQTWfwbusOvPV1ar76KWA4wme4UvWbOkrXBEHXtVHakVhWfkI0vBNFO6GR7MnqquD6vlETqLYPxsIxSrjQiBKV8rc0Frsfs8ofsTlIFxVdZZ7dptRrlSJKfhETF5tbwKwoF-6iWPU6aN3/s1600/small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBQTWfwbusOvPV1ar76KWA4wme4UvWbOkrXBEHXtVHakVhWfkI0vBNFO6GR7MnqquD6vlETqLYPxsIxSrjQiBKV8rc0Frsfs8ofsTlIFxVdZZ7dptRrlSJKfhETF5tbwKwoF-6iWPU6aN3/s320/small.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm sorry for what happened. Let me refer you to our competitor.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-12394717467032217262012-07-06T14:04:00.008+08:002014-11-07T19:47:56.434+08:00Top 10 Greek Goddesses: The Beauty and the Bitch<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYiWWALHHouoPPx7EdmpLJHWP1gpU6eRPmQy93fWTLBZcRWhF61AQCXfYSJPQ3tIVPsbK6onlB_0tOEeL7QIabTl5JulSsm0GB4vhYR5Z4t14BWfGZ4tq_RPvStrpLarqhZbnQWoTR17nv/s1600/cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYiWWALHHouoPPx7EdmpLJHWP1gpU6eRPmQy93fWTLBZcRWhF61AQCXfYSJPQ3tIVPsbK6onlB_0tOEeL7QIabTl5JulSsm0GB4vhYR5Z4t14BWfGZ4tq_RPvStrpLarqhZbnQWoTR17nv/s640/cover.png" height="323" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr align="left"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Judgement of Paris by Peter Paul Rubens, c. 1638-1639</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Note: For the </span></span></i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">original</span></span></i> , <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">unadulterated, good-for-your-ten-year-old-kid version, you may check the post </span><a href="http://reahguevarra.com/top-10-greek-goddesses-the-beauty-and-the-bad/"><span style="font-size: small;">here</span></a><span style="font-size: small;">.)</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">If there’s one group that runs the Greek Pantheon, it would be the goddesses. They are intellectually complex, physically splendid, and most of the time, emotionally unstable. They’re just like women in those beauty pageants, if their talent portion includes turning men into baboons and submerging cities to lava.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">And like beauty queens, there are quite a lot of them, but here are the ten that lead the pact with their elegance and wickedness. </span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">1. Hera</span></b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghk6HubOnjNYNOpwgYgVz0s6WwHuajDj3KXc5wLrMtpeYVJZa7Osd_PeGkfK2za6Ru8MSf9gyC3VyeKbGMjlMRCUQSmXpKcN20kYnPNH3so5ngXBGV-lSqHvtpyM70dA5ZatbTazM1Qudh/s1600/hera2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghk6HubOnjNYNOpwgYgVz0s6WwHuajDj3KXc5wLrMtpeYVJZa7Osd_PeGkfK2za6Ru8MSf9gyC3VyeKbGMjlMRCUQSmXpKcN20kYnPNH3so5ngXBGV-lSqHvtpyM70dA5ZatbTazM1Qudh/s400/hera2.jpg" height="400" width="226" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b> <br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">No list of goddesses is complete without Hera, the Queen of the Gods. The </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/Hera.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Goddess of Women and Marriage</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, she is both wife and sister to Zeus (wait, what?). Being the Olympian </span><i><span style="font-size: small;">prima donna</span></i><span style="font-size: small;">, she is of unequaled beauty. She even </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/JudgementParis.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">once went on</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> toe to toe with the appealing Athena, and with the Goddess of Beauty herself, Aphrodite, in the Trojan War prelude, the </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgement_of_Paris"><span style="font-size: small;">Judgement of Paris</span></a><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBqvIs1fo2SnbuWGw74CEFiiXtq2xbg9fa1TP5-9nwXZ1EUjxdShDRqfQj085aFKMq2qrEsqD6i6SrLwiB-R6kmv29ape0ayV97XjX1uUqqSWIucEuyqL5D1qIQHrCv1LqxtKIiIxaN7fV/s1600/paris-hilton-arrested.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBqvIs1fo2SnbuWGw74CEFiiXtq2xbg9fa1TP5-9nwXZ1EUjxdShDRqfQj085aFKMq2qrEsqD6i6SrLwiB-R6kmv29ape0ayV97XjX1uUqqSWIucEuyqL5D1qIQHrCv1LqxtKIiIxaN7fV/s320/paris-hilton-arrested.jpg" height="320" width="282" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Judgment of Paris.</td></tr>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Also, she’s such a big, big one. As anyone who enjoyed the 90's will know, she constantly posed as </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hera#Hera.2C_the_enemy_of_Heracles">a bitchy villain for Kevin Sorbo</a>'s Hercules</span></span><span style="font-size: small;">. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Apparently, she hates step-sons and step-daughters (which gave her headaches considering she has bazzilions of them). She also </span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/HeraMyths.html#Hephaistos"><span style="font-size: small;">casted her son, Hephaestus, out of heaven</span></a><span style="font-size: small;">, for the unforgivable sin of being really, really ugly. And </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/HeraWrath.html#Leto"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">always castigated Zeus’ mistresses</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. She might be a patron of matrimony, but her marriage issues with the chief god are few of the best highlights that shape the awesomeness that is Greek Mythology.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc5JKrJiUP-G9RfeKrQ628nwNVLHvMbkiUF9X5wJmuRzswYcAaclxc9fo_SHjsR5xNsvAdD5RLb7KortrlDpoobQUgArDY2rBT4wbCFLjXDax181xMQ9B7jjGBASPp1Oe8B3f17AppZ5jt/s1600/zeus-hera1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc5JKrJiUP-G9RfeKrQ628nwNVLHvMbkiUF9X5wJmuRzswYcAaclxc9fo_SHjsR5xNsvAdD5RLb7KortrlDpoobQUgArDY2rBT4wbCFLjXDax181xMQ9B7jjGBASPp1Oe8B3f17AppZ5jt/s320/zeus-hera1.jpg" height="320" width="264" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Thou get out of thine house. Asshole."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">2. Pallas Athena</span></span></b><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBN6DInlHEVENGUY26WnHxHsBqWMMswk-NDLk0SIFSIvcmUW_H4kkyD21tSiIGTVBmO6xnBjrN-tcQ8PthrujIQF968MIqT4PRpLH-jdzbGknYV3Ai0QeY1GTl6p_v89U99h4kSU5FL11/s1600/200px-Athena_Parthenos_Altemps_Inv8622.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBN6DInlHEVENGUY26WnHxHsBqWMMswk-NDLk0SIFSIvcmUW_H4kkyD21tSiIGTVBmO6xnBjrN-tcQ8PthrujIQF968MIqT4PRpLH-jdzbGknYV3Ai0QeY1GTl6p_v89U99h4kSU5FL11/s400/200px-Athena_Parthenos_Altemps_Inv8622.jpg" height="400" width="238" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The </span></span><a href="http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/athena.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Goddess of Wisdom, War, and Justice</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">; and patron of the Greek Heroes. Basically, Athena is that hot chick in your neighborhood that can punch really hard, and still be able to sport an IQ score twenty steps higher than yours. The </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parthenon"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Parthenon</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> was constructed in her honor.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZv0NqSVjEg0VXUXDIfBbuhRsUlVHXyUymM5GKK672jiXhIHhgd5B8Fylrgz0swUQ-Hq4Bfynx3fxU36YszgcduNrnO-wJaUu9QdWlSAKBoMirS3lfLN_UJQKMAgsBVbZwHSD8XcmNilLG/s1600/parthenon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZv0NqSVjEg0VXUXDIfBbuhRsUlVHXyUymM5GKK672jiXhIHhgd5B8Fylrgz0swUQ-Hq4Bfynx3fxU36YszgcduNrnO-wJaUu9QdWlSAKBoMirS3lfLN_UJQKMAgsBVbZwHSD8XcmNilLG/s320/parthenon.jpg" height="186" width="320" /></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Athena was born from the head of Zeus, </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/AthenaMyths.html#Birth"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">fully grown and armor-clad</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. Given that, she always mingled in affairs dominated by men (which she always win). She locked horns with </span></span><a href="http://www.pantheon.org/articles/p/poseidon.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Poseidon</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> for the </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/AthenaMyths.html#Athens"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">dominion of Athens</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> (which she obviously nailed). She joined the </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/AthenaMyths.html#Gigantes"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">War of the Giants</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, and </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">threw an entire freaking island</span></i><span style="font-size: small;"> to one of them (</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">because,</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">why not). She also </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arachne">turned one mortal into a spider</a> out of hubris and</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> for daring to disrespect the gods.</span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhjBdcOqXABjYOfa808c_TJtV9U70IsITURXZgxCWKlNTSSiIGa71esbmshwZBmrF2ef3NyhJnNTjM8Lkbjx1gr5bC4v4Erm3Nikejjwss8YWN0xm3C9DfREWWcRYTSO9WaCbb4s4FNB-8/s1600/hubris.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhjBdcOqXABjYOfa808c_TJtV9U70IsITURXZgxCWKlNTSSiIGa71esbmshwZBmrF2ef3NyhJnNTjM8Lkbjx1gr5bC4v4Erm3Nikejjwss8YWN0xm3C9DfREWWcRYTSO9WaCbb4s4FNB-8/s320/hubris.png" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hubris.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>3. Aphrodite</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyyyo3bb2XvQ4yTpOkbA-i9MBuqb31JtoXmZVufi__C8aOkWS0tQvL0uMQDuIM7ISouqbVCm6o7qrEkoJILfB_ePIWhHxPnp_d9Ol9k9VOSaPhmFRsYl8DaQ5QpS2LGVY2xFSnzlct1eUI/s1600/200px-NAMA_Aphrodite_Syracuse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyyyo3bb2XvQ4yTpOkbA-i9MBuqb31JtoXmZVufi__C8aOkWS0tQvL0uMQDuIM7ISouqbVCm6o7qrEkoJILfB_ePIWhHxPnp_d9Ol9k9VOSaPhmFRsYl8DaQ5QpS2LGVY2xFSnzlct1eUI/s400/200px-NAMA_Aphrodite_Syracuse.jpg" height="400" width="183" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Herself is an epitome of beauty, also </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphrodite"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Goddess of Love, Pleasure, and Procreation</span></span></a><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">and the forerunner of nude paintings</span></span><span style="font-size: small;">. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">She is also the mother of </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Ouranios/Eros.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Eros</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> (Cupid). Her birth has a lot of quite fantastic versions, but the most believable is the one telling that she was born out of the sea foam in a sea shell. This scene is famously detailed by Sandro Botticelli in the painting </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Birth_of_Venus_%28Botticelli%29"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Birth of Venus</span></span></i></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">, which </span><span style="line-height: 18px;">definitely</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> caused a lot of 13th Century boners back then. </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The term "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphrodisiac">aphrodisiac</a>" is based from her name. But just like that sweet-looking girl who sleeps with every guy </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">in your office</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, nothing good came out of stories involving her. In fact, she…</span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNHaCyaTXKFWK30NFPN01oWrDcn_UNi2JkAOuoWQqtIy-XNjm9IIix2iAXdwJ9XCgO6KY5XPj9ClmbP8FatW2qykhGpTqC50yIN_Qqgc0jl6KRUko9CqZRTmfOLhI0Qaq_zPjS9jUig48H/s1600/l_potensol_tablets.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNHaCyaTXKFWK30NFPN01oWrDcn_UNi2JkAOuoWQqtIy-XNjm9IIix2iAXdwJ9XCgO6KY5XPj9ClmbP8FatW2qykhGpTqC50yIN_Qqgc0jl6KRUko9CqZRTmfOLhI0Qaq_zPjS9jUig48H/s320/l_potensol_tablets.gif" height="258" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...also caused 21st Century boners.</td></tr>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">…</span></span></b><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/JudgementParis.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">inadvertently started the Trojan War</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> by promising Paris the most beautiful mortal in the world, Helen, in exchange of the title “Fairest Goddess of Them All” (the belt was an apple). She also caused the </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/AphroditeWrath.html#Hippolytos"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">destruction of Hippolytos</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. And </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">because she is a very, very bad mother-in-law by any comparison</span></span>, <span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">she caused the </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphrodite#Aphrodite_and_Psyche"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">punishments of the mortal Psyche</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> for daring to love her son.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp-m4vRu24JizO4p3k_GbT4fbM14X0C2-Vxg4SqzL7e2UmCuOQouKzU5TiTasTWHF4CeNrCsZJcfC1s3r8VyfeupQW35cMuEjFBS4CEK5ovY7bFX0MCcjJqpfrcEM7sI7unp1cA8L7YnGW/s1600/angler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp-m4vRu24JizO4p3k_GbT4fbM14X0C2-Vxg4SqzL7e2UmCuOQouKzU5TiTasTWHF4CeNrCsZJcfC1s3r8VyfeupQW35cMuEjFBS4CEK5ovY7bFX0MCcjJqpfrcEM7sI7unp1cA8L7YnGW/s320/angler.jpg" height="202" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lips are too irresistible.<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>4. Artemis</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbqBxPNlZsE3ddjCj-vawzi4p9Iw_vICM9mtYLvxQsabGg94RwlvskvZfGG6qK8twtkoJNxwUFvRnfsiqUTmvux2NE-PCItna_RHhMo7W3WjxqjdpoZ_6JYwEjAv0LtXQSN0Bcy7D8apam/s1600/artwstag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbqBxPNlZsE3ddjCj-vawzi4p9Iw_vICM9mtYLvxQsabGg94RwlvskvZfGG6qK8twtkoJNxwUFvRnfsiqUTmvux2NE-PCItna_RHhMo7W3WjxqjdpoZ_6JYwEjAv0LtXQSN0Bcy7D8apam/s400/artwstag.jpg" height="400" width="252" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Goddess of Hunting, Wilderness, Childbirth, Virginity, and the Moon, which may not seem like things that belong together, but anyway. Artemis seems to be given with quite a boyish personality, as she is twin-sister to Apollo, the god of hunting, music, and drag queens. And what do you always get from boyish girls?</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIB7-PrGWXRncPV6-m4nWR4feh2Tsb2ZaEiJ9sUPyPTi6OrSGaRm5doTF3rt6_6p3dKEfPH7nbsePIc03ZNPsCT0p07kEimOr7r6rVb_Xzb52SCYeGaN9Y-7mXca1_1Y-6TOPX27LV8dXq/s1600/asian+boyish+hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIB7-PrGWXRncPV6-m4nWR4feh2Tsb2ZaEiJ9sUPyPTi6OrSGaRm5doTF3rt6_6p3dKEfPH7nbsePIc03ZNPsCT0p07kEimOr7r6rVb_Xzb52SCYeGaN9Y-7mXca1_1Y-6TOPX27LV8dXq/s320/asian+boyish+hair.jpg" height="320" width="227" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boners?<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">A shitload of punishments!</span></span> <span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">She chastised the hunter Actaeon by </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis#Actaeon"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">turning him into a stag</span></span></a><span style="font-size: small;">, </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">but because she is also a gentle goddess, she attempted to minimize the damage by releasing the hounds on him. She also </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/ArtemisFavour.html#Orion"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">murdered her hunting companion, and the only guy who won her heart, Orion</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. And she turned one of her cohorts, Callisto, </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis#Callisto"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">into a bear</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. Yeah, she's sorta big into turning guys into animals.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggfZR67J-zMcvRUwlDGGyAVDpHx3L8tJDIhzFR46pKoXzzskxpYh3fXMedjYW5x7jZbDehFzQIxAZ3rLSNFBvM0EWr1UxpW1fEPA5dvsRPia21QseqBRWqqi0CRfUKPjFuahLyt8Wb2gD6/s1600/blobfish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggfZR67J-zMcvRUwlDGGyAVDpHx3L8tJDIhzFR46pKoXzzskxpYh3fXMedjYW5x7jZbDehFzQIxAZ3rLSNFBvM0EWr1UxpW1fEPA5dvsRPia21QseqBRWqqi0CRfUKPjFuahLyt8Wb2gD6/s320/blobfish.jpg" height="202" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jon wasn't lucky either.<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">5. Demeter</span></span></b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Nsq8t6QZ-OKpzwbM75Syl8cRNpGBserX5eEfcxbOmIOWAF1B-Z3z2gaonwh6ky8rvIVZi3LGn_PBoWlecOJZGFBXhhDiPPunNCXb76AMBCopVJYmFfTi1GaAIT9GklVwSa1gkrfVp8eL/s1600/Demeter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Nsq8t6QZ-OKpzwbM75Syl8cRNpGBserX5eEfcxbOmIOWAF1B-Z3z2gaonwh6ky8rvIVZi3LGn_PBoWlecOJZGFBXhhDiPPunNCXb76AMBCopVJYmFfTi1GaAIT9GklVwSa1gkrfVp8eL/s400/Demeter.jpg" height="400" width="238" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The least volatile among the Olympians. She is the </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demeter"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Goddess of Harvest and Agriculture</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. She taught mankind the farming and cultivation of crops and cereals (Kellog’s taught mankind of boxing them), thus marking the start of civilization.</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKLdjqtimWoRN-R222ELm3nyEP2qI78mwIjpCziZbsjIMt0fmeAEpOEQly_Nzey5CEkOVeoJJYQeoZ7v6eLWbElZ9NBZ0gacsWzSFFD-1IB1xFD3D1ifiseGxRj6a1-1vPBUwhnF3RfTGd/s1600/kelloggs-organic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKLdjqtimWoRN-R222ELm3nyEP2qI78mwIjpCziZbsjIMt0fmeAEpOEQly_Nzey5CEkOVeoJJYQeoZ7v6eLWbElZ9NBZ0gacsWzSFFD-1IB1xFD3D1ifiseGxRj6a1-1vPBUwhnF3RfTGd/s320/kelloggs-organic.jpg" height="172" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blasphemy.<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</tbody></table>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Kind, but a powerful Goddess and a loving mother nonetheless. Her grief for </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demeter#Demeter_and_Persephone"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">the loss of her daughter, Persephone</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, causes vegetation life to wither and fall, thus marking the autumn season.</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUZgUpAN4RBLuqmFxZCLjOYcXn1YdN82lbv-XO62AUeFmDB2QtFDucGkqtKZBkFc0yVbTByv4N93iQryiioM6e1nfv0Oj8MH5FzTThu1dD9QyQLtolxnLrtrKKbdGkKzxHFCXflTpwk6ap/s1600/chernobyl_ferris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUZgUpAN4RBLuqmFxZCLjOYcXn1YdN82lbv-XO62AUeFmDB2QtFDucGkqtKZBkFc0yVbTByv4N93iQryiioM6e1nfv0Oj8MH5FzTThu1dD9QyQLtolxnLrtrKKbdGkKzxHFCXflTpwk6ap/s320/chernobyl_ferris.jpg" height="320" width="242" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She made this to Chernobyl when her post-trauma kicked in.<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</tbody></table>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">6. Hestia</span></span></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdk84UEokPaiqSWdy4V0NOF34PW7oj8Nst2L3Unc61DaPiXbn_JIFiXRd_RLDTdWv43a510pIIL2L0-pPMilfoGljBAepWVEJYB6TOxxG9BJFf_QX880WLq9F8FQhAh0RTWIG3F5A9FBKw/s1600/hestia-golden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdk84UEokPaiqSWdy4V0NOF34PW7oj8Nst2L3Unc61DaPiXbn_JIFiXRd_RLDTdWv43a510pIIL2L0-pPMilfoGljBAepWVEJYB6TOxxG9BJFf_QX880WLq9F8FQhAh0RTWIG3F5A9FBKw/s400/hestia-golden.jpg" height="400" width="237" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.pantheon.org/articles/h/hestia.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Goddess of Hearth Fire, Domestic Life</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, and Guy Dumping. Eldest sister to Zeus, and the gentlest among the goddesses. Though she had no throne, she oversaw the sacred fire in Olympus, and every hearth on Earth is her altar. The cult of Arsonists is formed in her honor</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> [citation needed]</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig6iw_Conzop-tbKH4xPpssJHwD9KqEwKyX7dSRuOKVXTd_O3GAZqduetcEo5BYAKn_lFJ0wC0yMmxDD-0y96SAIMJ5zvOzovvnejj6e60cxsxn7Mzw6_VnJiyusquELVlteOZyDfucza3/s1600/Burning-House.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig6iw_Conzop-tbKH4xPpssJHwD9KqEwKyX7dSRuOKVXTd_O3GAZqduetcEo5BYAKn_lFJ0wC0yMmxDD-0y96SAIMJ5zvOzovvnejj6e60cxsxn7Mzw6_VnJiyusquELVlteOZyDfucza3/s320/Burning-House.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What happens when you combine hearth fire and domestic life these days.<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Nothing so bitchy about her, except that despite many suitors (the gods Poseidon and Apollo among them), she just decided to friendzone the jerks and swore to be a virgin. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgK1rNBXqYdXX89VKIlJc8vcPgCwkbCmD5NajaSwEe-0E9a-JGPvacg5PfZBI1Ns-cTuxa318q_ld7ATA_fHSrb1qSN44wxkjovUN5iwSXMIpHbOlouekfGU66lL9fZ9CS4qsMJ9Q_430G/s1600/god_of_war_iii__poseidon_01_by_andyparkart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgK1rNBXqYdXX89VKIlJc8vcPgCwkbCmD5NajaSwEe-0E9a-JGPvacg5PfZBI1Ns-cTuxa318q_ld7ATA_fHSrb1qSN44wxkjovUN5iwSXMIpHbOlouekfGU66lL9fZ9CS4qsMJ9Q_430G/s320/god_of_war_iii__poseidon_01_by_andyparkart.jpg" height="262" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You're a nice guy. But I'm not into hentai."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">7. Gaia</span></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihzSryLBCecfTJ17k9vtfXCb7cq1ucdICjEX45zxaKSUQ7ZqQz0bUCa4o9kKODjBF9gcfnDU9yRBc6sP9wN6Oi2alDctX0ReQt2L_EgnAN3DwmJTjw1h8Vr74hv4-rJ2YDLmahS7cGVGv8/s1600/0223f897-9600-45f4-8dd3-346b2c6d9112.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihzSryLBCecfTJ17k9vtfXCb7cq1ucdICjEX45zxaKSUQ7ZqQz0bUCa4o9kKODjBF9gcfnDU9yRBc6sP9wN6Oi2alDctX0ReQt2L_EgnAN3DwmJTjw1h8Vr74hv4-rJ2YDLmahS7cGVGv8/s400/0223f897-9600-45f4-8dd3-346b2c6d9112.jpeg" height="400" width="365" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.pantheon.org/articles/g/gaia.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Goddess and Personification of the Earth</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, she was one of the first beings in the Cosmos. Her </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaia_%28mythology%29#Children"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">offspring included</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pontus_%28mythology%29"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Pontus</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> (the Sea), </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uranus_%28mythology%29"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Uranus</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> (the Sky), and the </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titan_%28mythology%29"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Titans</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, who later descended the Olympians. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbKeu5dG5AA3kZhOee6MKbhGpSpiFo9SfjtKiRZH838aNH4_taLx83u-7wZriY77FXm8Zte2TX6RH1nRP3NLDlnFS6SCSFNuPtp6SQF6Xt4NbkV1WOE_oOED34fq6zHDvcJMxdmJD1vvxH/s1600/2446775.0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbKeu5dG5AA3kZhOee6MKbhGpSpiFo9SfjtKiRZH838aNH4_taLx83u-7wZriY77FXm8Zte2TX6RH1nRP3NLDlnFS6SCSFNuPtp6SQF6Xt4NbkV1WOE_oOED34fq6zHDvcJMxdmJD1vvxH/s320/2446775.0.jpg" height="320" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On the other hand, we'd love to descend on the Tennessee Titans Cheerleaders. </td></tr>
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">She also gave birth to the </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclops"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cyclopes</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erinyes"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Erinyes</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, and </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giants_%28Greek_mythology%29"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Gigantes</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">; creatures that constantly pestered the Greek heroes. Also, she double-crossed Kratos. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYwI9roDgJ2X7RYSO53d664R3JREcXn3TgqnnoXBQ0mTFe1J4qHaP1K68J3KXThmQedDD3EF0NU6jj1jp1FLoSd7-lXuCtTIHoVD3e57m_ZElu022zkk7v6e5n1vK2583Csx43xf2zjYWg/s1600/kratosbtrayal.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYwI9roDgJ2X7RYSO53d664R3JREcXn3TgqnnoXBQ0mTFe1J4qHaP1K68J3KXThmQedDD3EF0NU6jj1jp1FLoSd7-lXuCtTIHoVD3e57m_ZElu022zkk7v6e5n1vK2583Csx43xf2zjYWg/s320/kratosbtrayal.png" height="163" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">8. Rhea</span></span></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdZ6XmVLaKUCrZ1BPQjIHnSnGznvbaEfQeMJs6ij8Vil7HEUFiThLTFJ4Pvrqb_JG-KdKFV83mgQSPQXpOtFLxVnYorODiCEFa-ZziMWyYz-Ng_MiRwP0MgPP09xNgThJ5YbOs33vOKosh/s1600/rhea1-1617.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdZ6XmVLaKUCrZ1BPQjIHnSnGznvbaEfQeMJs6ij8Vil7HEUFiThLTFJ4Pvrqb_JG-KdKFV83mgQSPQXpOtFLxVnYorODiCEFa-ZziMWyYz-Ng_MiRwP0MgPP09xNgThJ5YbOs33vOKosh/s400/rhea1-1617.jpg" height="400" width="312" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Daughter of Gaia and Uranus (yes, Uranus slept with her mom) and </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhea_%28mythology%29"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">the Mother of the Olympians</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. Technically a </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Titan/Titanides.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Titaness</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, but revered as the </span></span><a href="http://www.theoi.com/Titan/TitanisRhea.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Goddess of Female fertility and Motherhood</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjopW3ANG93ZlDT02aSwGHRIVHVDDaOwu-lup35HWNxORju_Mpa7boJPZSd3ak869_lcP16axuI1P3icPoWiPmNyLItpM_Fb5azyWbxNwYrji7iONOKaP_weVlMd1r8qqfjOe2PIAvanOdK/s1600/Oedipus_And_The_Sphinx_-_Project_Gutenberg_eText_14994.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjopW3ANG93ZlDT02aSwGHRIVHVDDaOwu-lup35HWNxORju_Mpa7boJPZSd3ak869_lcP16axuI1P3icPoWiPmNyLItpM_Fb5azyWbxNwYrji7iONOKaP_weVlMd1r8qqfjOe2PIAvanOdK/s320/Oedipus_And_The_Sphinx_-_Project_Gutenberg_eText_14994.png" height="209" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Despite that, Oedipus still unfairly got the "sexing your mom" infamy.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rhea is the reason why the </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titan_War"><span style="font-size: small;">Titan War</span></a><span style="font-size: small;"> became possible and Zeus ruled the world, humping women. When her husband, </span></span><a href="http://www.pantheon.org/articles/c/cronus.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cronus</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> was still so into devouring his children (Hestia, Hades, Demeter, Poseidon, Hera), she hid the youngest child, Zeus in Crete and gave Cronus a stone draped in cloth and ate it, thinking it’s his last child (apparently, all baby gods taste hard-rock crunchy). Zeus eventually grew up, and warred with the Titans, overthrew them, saved his siblings, and became the Big Boss. If you’ve played God of War 2, then I don’t have to tell you these.</span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8VOd8_-KfITgo3ZA0AHXqvC4zbOTzVMA8EbKrJxjI0eHiFFHLob9uO8wj6OT98Tdl1-4CffkCmwgcN8oItQt7NeG-VlTdIMR-ZqlPWP-ia90BDgiqxJplkzLus1T5qXgLPgO9d4hJQbG3/s1600/252px-Gow2-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8VOd8_-KfITgo3ZA0AHXqvC4zbOTzVMA8EbKrJxjI0eHiFFHLob9uO8wj6OT98Tdl1-4CffkCmwgcN8oItQt7NeG-VlTdIMR-ZqlPWP-ia90BDgiqxJplkzLus1T5qXgLPgO9d4hJQbG3/s320/252px-Gow2-2.jpg" height="320" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because of this game, most of us survived classical literature without lifting a single textbook.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">9. Persephone</span></b></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX2DGFQzIQPS8Yf2npR_AqyNNM1nLdsPrASDpRyz4wGu_SJ1dOYO9HsfX03t-AHJgK5NFBM3-Pz8-Er0P5VDp_jHgTMxrIgB1cGJ_22tPl-faShiyL8eug8zTYRkc6HQ_yltqXjC83KAba/s1600/AMI0009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX2DGFQzIQPS8Yf2npR_AqyNNM1nLdsPrASDpRyz4wGu_SJ1dOYO9HsfX03t-AHJgK5NFBM3-Pz8-Er0P5VDp_jHgTMxrIgB1cGJ_22tPl-faShiyL8eug8zTYRkc6HQ_yltqXjC83KAba/s400/AMI0009.jpg" height="400" width="212" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The daughter of Zeus and his sister Demeter, </span></span>she is <span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">the Goddess of </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persephone"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Springtime and Vegetation</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. Ironically, she also the </span></span><a href="http://www.pantheon.org/articles/p/persephone.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Queen of the Underworld</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. You might ask why the hell. It’s because…</span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaMY4BXY5yko9HMdz2-ykT37FPiv9GhD9PKqE2DXPYdaf4H6Jfxw6zssapXnfe26iujOkQunt7Nr0p4lFNaP_jxeBY13C_CeoEfopanGRkX5P1hL_8oNpB3TkEHGfSVdcZLQofQ9vjiXhc/s1600/Metal_Girl_by_George_Arruda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaMY4BXY5yko9HMdz2-ykT37FPiv9GhD9PKqE2DXPYdaf4H6Jfxw6zssapXnfe26iujOkQunt7Nr0p4lFNaP_jxeBY13C_CeoEfopanGRkX5P1hL_8oNpB3TkEHGfSVdcZLQofQ9vjiXhc/s320/Metal_Girl_by_George_Arruda.jpg" height="320" width="246" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's a rock star. Rock Metal, mostly.<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">… she was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persephone#Abduction_myth">abducted, </a></span></span> <span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persephone#Abduction_myth">forced married, and tentacled-</a></span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persephone#Abduction_myth">raped (probably) </a>by </span></span> <span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">the God of the Underworld,</span></span> <span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hades_%28mythology%29">Hades</a>,</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> who is also Zeus' and Ceres' brother. Thus, dooming her to return to the dark realm every third of the year, ending the Spring season. Summing up, she is a result of marriage between two siblings, but then kidnapped by her uncle so she could be his wife. Yeah, they're kinda big into incest, which seems to be a mildly daily occurrence in their world. </span></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxJ08XMP8ZPHkJ7q5TD0F3JB1lzBnVChsojrL1EF2hPWi3eY3lqmey6lrU5yUsa28C6dihNkNRwnyVhcn5PBk2N18AgzO1mVnX7J_ZA20iJYX3GWLVkKj1Prr3mjZD4w6Q5Jwz-gl5cfQf/s1600/Bernini_The_Rape_of_Persephone_1621-22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxJ08XMP8ZPHkJ7q5TD0F3JB1lzBnVChsojrL1EF2hPWi3eY3lqmey6lrU5yUsa28C6dihNkNRwnyVhcn5PBk2N18AgzO1mVnX7J_ZA20iJYX3GWLVkKj1Prr3mjZD4w6Q5Jwz-gl5cfQf/s320/Bernini_The_Rape_of_Persephone_1621-22.jpg" height="320" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There are more incest cases in their town than there are bicycles in China.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">10. Nike</span></span></b><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI3_lfdM3kYyKbPwG-ZGYNbYjs5U4WhBD2zauDR8W9MayWoHr7s3ml_xqhuRwImOPoTQcwr7NgZfJMg5y-QgJgZwoaoTZ0JfxN6YesPJemvrOuNymPuMgiC-IKO0cmL0m15MsGW3przW_H/s1600/nike2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI3_lfdM3kYyKbPwG-ZGYNbYjs5U4WhBD2zauDR8W9MayWoHr7s3ml_xqhuRwImOPoTQcwr7NgZfJMg5y-QgJgZwoaoTZ0JfxN6YesPJemvrOuNymPuMgiC-IKO0cmL0m15MsGW3przW_H/s400/nike2.jpg" height="400" width="282" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Beauty</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.theoi.com/Daimon/Nike.html"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Winged Goddess of Victory</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Zeus brought her to his aid during </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titan_War"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Titan War</span></span></a> so he could<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"> dominate Olympus and bang his sisters. She assumed the role of the divine </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nike_%28mythology%29"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">charioteer for the gods</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGgdkj_Mqq98pXeXzJ_k8Iy_XRAm24z6JKWrWGAZLCyTJvOrdkX1lWhj3ysTZmpRvcDknp0_-rC7Dd1RDvCXVXHIgzuS9RusCM8F8G-5jxcweKCFyzCZ_MeiCqmUJWEF7Jt_fEqTW_GGEa/s1600/Goddess+Nike+riding+chariot+7111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGgdkj_Mqq98pXeXzJ_k8Iy_XRAm24z6JKWrWGAZLCyTJvOrdkX1lWhj3ysTZmpRvcDknp0_-rC7Dd1RDvCXVXHIgzuS9RusCM8F8G-5jxcweKCFyzCZ_MeiCqmUJWEF7Jt_fEqTW_GGEa/s320/Goddess+Nike+riding+chariot+7111.jpg" height="243" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">We're pretty sure those horses are nitrogen-powered.</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Bitch</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Nike never acquired a cult or myth of her own. Though by Classical Times, most gods had their wings shed, </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nike_%28mythology%29"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">she still retained hers</span></span></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">, thus her famous name. Now she is only known as a sports shoe brand being endorsed by Katy Perry. Not Bad.</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpQ_SJuOwO3oG-tAlQeQZ_QbFe9hE81tWwKASUzOuaNgMfUxQnpICmK4QijP4k-nOOBFl-Esl5TiOHho0BpFYLenrdIu_NXygcP3B7bl9bDOsUR5TYR2U5GVpuSy2dJXPzHxyQFZ71Uij/s1600/KatyPerry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpQ_SJuOwO3oG-tAlQeQZ_QbFe9hE81tWwKASUzOuaNgMfUxQnpICmK4QijP4k-nOOBFl-Esl5TiOHho0BpFYLenrdIu_NXygcP3B7bl9bDOsUR5TYR2U5GVpuSy2dJXPzHxyQFZ71Uij/s1600/KatyPerry.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Not bad at all.</span></i></td></tr>
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You've read about the goddesses, Now read about gods in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/03/why-science-will-kick-religions-ass.html">Why Science Will Kick Religion's Ass</a>,<a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/riddle-of-god.html"> Riddle of God</a>, and <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human First Part: Why Batman Is Awesome</a>. Or learn how to be one in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/04/only-human-second-part-how-to-become.html">Only Human Second Part: A Guide On How To Become Batman</a>.<br />
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</span>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-33830301949802296692011-09-24T01:28:00.015+08:002012-07-23T17:00:42.063+08:00Planking: Why It Rocked The Congress (And Why It Actually Shouldn't)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIHU4GQ-HdS1PfsEZsJ-mOuvn56QhCFu13Alg_QerVPbWC3aK1ng5qv2T0EGVd_bqslMpmLudf22HRQXvQlQdsy2ET3owEUEy7rIwg1_W0uZ8LXGPtXgQoPA1MypR-tyVYU1w7RJDec5y6/s1600/Philippines-Transport+planking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIHU4GQ-HdS1PfsEZsJ-mOuvn56QhCFu13Alg_QerVPbWC3aK1ng5qv2T0EGVd_bqslMpmLudf22HRQXvQlQdsy2ET3owEUEy7rIwg1_W0uZ8LXGPtXgQoPA1MypR-tyVYU1w7RJDec5y6/s640/Philippines-Transport+planking.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Just The Facts:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1. Planking is the new jump shot. Because jump shot is so gay.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">2. It requires you to lie face down straight, and look completely moronic.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">3. Some members of the House of Representative prefers lying on their backs.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What Is It?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If you're living under a rock, "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planking_%28fad%29">Planking</a>" is the newest fad that hits Metro Manila, as well the rest of the social networking-dependent world. It consists of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands should touch the sides of the body. And because it isn't insanity enough for whoever came up with this game, it should be photographed and posted in the Internet for everyone else to see how desperately you need to have a life. If Jose Rizal isn't stupid enough to turn around after the shot, he would have fell face down, and would be the first "Planker".</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdt0GeosgBrT0pfI4_3leaVmqGxmWeJDZxKT84O3ASN9oAthXf9-ujAJlyV1r8iPIbPVzCnFOAHFnbm8LIYMy17TLZNwJN8DEfvCJ86H7Rgxb00uFitRbwXrhyphenhyphenlBdr_xsnECYKnU0neo5D/s1600/hdhdfhd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdt0GeosgBrT0pfI4_3leaVmqGxmWeJDZxKT84O3ASN9oAthXf9-ujAJlyV1r8iPIbPVzCnFOAHFnbm8LIYMy17TLZNwJN8DEfvCJ86H7Rgxb00uFitRbwXrhyphenhyphenlBdr_xsnECYKnU0neo5D/s400/hdhdfhd.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'll go where there are no slaves, tyrants or hangmen. Where faith does not kill and where God alone does reign. Fuck you all, I will die on my back.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Where The Hell It Came From?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Very much like Ben Affleck's appeal, the origin of this fad has no clear existence. Canadian actor, comedian, writer, and full time has-been Tom Greene claimed he invented the game back in 1994, an awesome piece of history coming from a guy who has always joked ever since we know him. But perhaps the most <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/16/planking-a-brief-history">believable origin</a> came from Gary Clarkson and his friend Christian Langdon, who came up with the game out of boredom 14 years ago.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggRQrEHEsduhM5cnUkRf4eDZMZDPyz08-XEHWHfa-IXtYpjiu7sA7psBfJ_oWCFNIylFHt2nBipY2CMOwdR4iDtWlQT3UMmtwjS9UK9o9WcsnnJPHLmYjtaM5Cx2uOfHBC24rG3iDuNEZo/s1600/Two+Kids+Amariyah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggRQrEHEsduhM5cnUkRf4eDZMZDPyz08-XEHWHfa-IXtYpjiu7sA7psBfJ_oWCFNIylFHt2nBipY2CMOwdR4iDtWlQT3UMmtwjS9UK9o9WcsnnJPHLmYjtaM5Cx2uOfHBC24rG3iDuNEZo/s320/Two+Kids+Amariyah.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chris: Let's play a game. Let's see which one of us can make the girl next door cry first.<br />
Gary: That sucks, Chris. I suggest we lie down on our faces and look rock-fuck stupid.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Calling it simply as the Lying Down Game, the two, then 15 and 12 respectively at that time, would perform planking in public places, amusing one another and baffling the shit among onlookers. It was a pointedly pointless way for the boys to pass the time. As Clarkson puts it in one interview: "It was just a really stupid, random thing to do."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzagbBRxubY9s-Xhs7RcnsGOADXERbR4sWEbpDq0TaUq3NX2naqPWchhIrsvTfvDQEMLI_6CK_mWV1fosyo3Zq7RHiq9TvYT5RLoVHrgynx2HQ8mZoYkd-44rjoDHm9Fu0aq20iO6bjzZz/s1600/zvzvv.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzagbBRxubY9s-Xhs7RcnsGOADXERbR4sWEbpDq0TaUq3NX2naqPWchhIrsvTfvDQEMLI_6CK_mWV1fosyo3Zq7RHiq9TvYT5RLoVHrgynx2HQ8mZoYkd-44rjoDHm9Fu0aq20iO6bjzZz/s400/zvzvv.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gary Clarkson (left) and Christian Langdon (right) looking really stupid and random on their own.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The game spread like Black Death to Clarkson and Langon's friends at school and, after a while, on to other kids from the neighborhood, who found the act of tensing their lumbar muscles while burying their little faces on the ground as they hold their breath amusing as it is.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1S22DyCduUKmww9gF2YRLdfwrNISROd8NgQ8vjxGRJHIxiqyUB1c9IRyPUwmbSmYWUePUfQZdFr6WyvQW6BgOFNWmZbQd2ibNOX0wlMdVWrie6CAaJ9czbV1BJshyphenhyphenfe1GW9KI4UYXKQsq/s1600/planking2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1S22DyCduUKmww9gF2YRLdfwrNISROd8NgQ8vjxGRJHIxiqyUB1c9IRyPUwmbSmYWUePUfQZdFr6WyvQW6BgOFNWmZbQd2ibNOX0wlMdVWrie6CAaJ9czbV1BJshyphenhyphenfe1GW9KI4UYXKQsq/s320/planking2.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You're awesome Harry! You've planked for three hours now! Harry? How come you look so blue? </td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And the rest is viral, social networking site-peddled history. Planking became famous to the rest of the world. It is known as "시체놀이" (Playing Dead") in South Korea, "à plat ventre" ("On one’s belly") in France, "extreme lying down" in Australasia, "facedowns" in Ireland, and "planking" in New Zealand and USA.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7RYoI7SSKIh4JT9QEP_H-ndrU82-DT_h5ZaaiMlsyTghnXiS_FNrJbOtFcOu28xR94ea0PFeIJCCbvwQATiPCdEsB2ZbWxzn3i6vEbpg2cjxRURFfgfNGd6G8jXCCcub78R8qy0WjIjex/s1600/86941_v1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7RYoI7SSKIh4JT9QEP_H-ndrU82-DT_h5ZaaiMlsyTghnXiS_FNrJbOtFcOu28xR94ea0PFeIJCCbvwQATiPCdEsB2ZbWxzn3i6vEbpg2cjxRURFfgfNGd6G8jXCCcub78R8qy0WjIjex/s1600/86941_v1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In Persia, they call it the "get hacked by the Claw Guy" game.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But the fad isn't without any detractors. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planking_%28fad%29#History_and_origination">Critics of the lying down game</a> (a group of guys who probably swore to lie on their backs only during their sleeping hours for the rest of their lives) compare it with the slave trade-era practice and manner of stashing African slaves upon the planks of a slave ship's lower hold. However, a professor from University of Pittsburgh sinisterly named Marcus Rediker states there is no "deliberate connection" between the contemporary usage, or any previous meaning imputed to the term, who we believe made such claim based purely on the fact that his name was awesome.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheGMke4qP6vBG8jN4sAE67sfFrPt7NVTDA41q21inQsM_93UoPtV5J_aRvAvK6jQ0LQLfOiDQoXG7N8CgoIB_Nf193i3to1I3kXkVA2mDogzgYd3tvlqkD9d65njYXwmFH55R_jpmwaoHh/s1600/kitchen-planking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheGMke4qP6vBG8jN4sAE67sfFrPt7NVTDA41q21inQsM_93UoPtV5J_aRvAvK6jQ0LQLfOiDQoXG7N8CgoIB_Nf193i3to1I3kXkVA2mDogzgYd3tvlqkD9d65njYXwmFH55R_jpmwaoHh/s320/kitchen-planking.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is shit, Stevie! I slept with you because I heard you're into Spelunking!</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The Philippine Setting:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The game of planking was just another viral fad as harmless as honey badgers, with no deliberate objective of harming or putting the lives of it's practitioners, as long as it's done with safety and concern for the other people around in mind, just like its newer (and far more stupid) cousins that followed like <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/forget-planking--now-its-teapotting-20110519-1eu0h.html">Tea-potting</a> (NOT the homoerotic act), <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2015034/Owling-new-planking-New-crouching-craze-springs-internet.html">Owling</a>, and <a href="http://www.horsemanning.com/">Horse Manning</a>.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYIHc87zGQttqM9eaPqE7N2av6n06jBMGOTlOH__Rekk3CrfLjFjfY9eEpFC13H7qYyAcYL3iHiW2xJAv11CnFJFKT6q7PyCyVtItLatktAhwOhfu8KTLSYp4D2LG7ACUUiXx_CRrVIFu5/s1600/ppprll1314989133-940x629.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYIHc87zGQttqM9eaPqE7N2av6n06jBMGOTlOH__Rekk3CrfLjFjfY9eEpFC13H7qYyAcYL3iHiW2xJAv11CnFJFKT6q7PyCyVtItLatktAhwOhfu8KTLSYp4D2LG7ACUUiXx_CRrVIFu5/s400/ppprll1314989133-940x629.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"HOLY FUCKING SH -- Oh, it's just Jane with her head cut-off."</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And like honey badgers , the game has a few casualty of it's own. A few months ago, 20-year-old Australian Acton Beale reportedly fell seven storeys to his death from the balcony of an apartment block in Kangaroo Point, Brisbane. And last May, a 20-year-old man from Gladstone in central Queensland was charged for allegedly planking on a police vehicle, which makes us think twenty year-old's should be banned temporarily from executing this.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio81UZhjEFi7lxnr1mtjCZ1hWEQHNVCBDnu2ljneKJX4IbGUJkJBUMypjWfkKEwDWoWvFbJYAJo9Smq0BxpabRK6mT4lZZ2hWPTuDfNT8PPYUp-wBhWngptXB2EVhXSB5Z8wkzbiOgyX6g/s1600/71.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio81UZhjEFi7lxnr1mtjCZ1hWEQHNVCBDnu2ljneKJX4IbGUJkJBUMypjWfkKEwDWoWvFbJYAJo9Smq0BxpabRK6mT4lZZ2hWPTuDfNT8PPYUp-wBhWngptXB2EVhXSB5Z8wkzbiOgyX6g/s320/71.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jump shots are not life threatening enough. Let's do something more fun.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But it wasn't until September 2011, here in the Philippines, that its notoriety had been full blown big time like an exploding piñata, when Quezon City Representative Winnie Castelo (he's a guy)<a href="http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/09/20/11/lawmaker-wants-planking-banned"> passed</a> the Anti-Planking Act of 2011, probably to the complete awe and surprise of his fellow Congressmen who were only beginning to unravel what the fuck Planking is.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp6ECn2VOKO_8v2hsKlUWiJRoJe87wzgBr749ffmwCo6pasc6Evem25hdJq02RKEP8M4Ec32v4NoxkFL707B7zaiSbNqyTQuAftqKC2FHHYSFf49JE_MbvSdqUJWY64AEgTcQWDZgo0oSK/s1600/8074696.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp6ECn2VOKO_8v2hsKlUWiJRoJe87wzgBr749ffmwCo6pasc6Evem25hdJq02RKEP8M4Ec32v4NoxkFL707B7zaiSbNqyTQuAftqKC2FHHYSFf49JE_MbvSdqUJWY64AEgTcQWDZgo0oSK/s320/8074696.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"And in addition to that, seriously? Is that your first name?" </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But of course, Representative Castelo didn't just woke up one dire night from a nightmare suddenly realizing he really, really hates the fad. It started with the Metro Manila Transport Strike last Monday, September 19, when 300 Jeepney drivers and rallyists decided they won't give shit about the commuters anymore (which, ironically is the primary source of their income) and just tell the Government that they deserve a raise.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Castelo, like the other politicians, lawmakers, and Government officials, went back to the drawing board, re-analyzed the economic landscape, considered the probable solution to these poor protester's plight, and discussed in the House of Representatives the possible implications of this ambling crisis.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Nope, I'm kidding. He just actually lay his entire focus and attention to this scene in the news.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdFp4TtOKV8iLWADKGwKLA_77hc1fH3zaJGJBHZlU31mwplC5CMrWiNRZ1ER5Hn34wiYhP8dcZzOY_Bcq45AvGd2QDu3UXApie9BMtSiFo1rSI4ePHMgfg7tIogoreuLrlRhZ7MR5XcInb/s1600/Philippines-Transport+planking.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdFp4TtOKV8iLWADKGwKLA_77hc1fH3zaJGJBHZlU31mwplC5CMrWiNRZ1ER5Hn34wiYhP8dcZzOY_Bcq45AvGd2QDu3UXApie9BMtSiFo1rSI4ePHMgfg7tIogoreuLrlRhZ7MR5XcInb/s400/Philippines-Transport+planking.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Students rallyists, still largely caught up with the trend, tried to bring planking into the street as a form of protest, to the astonishment and shock of motorists who probably thought they included mass suicide to their otherwise futile plea.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimO80eNspyEVTtcUaDONnsR6Fe4ZqzuruNoLrfqmVvc-E8UQ1ai00ujHx-EbBYEAJDjqXcCv8moING_qWKoR4g0rZuFpgbROSAU7wdxCpghCRDOrpitkhIL3A-C5ZhPxFZvGQBm9X7VPtb/s1600/Angry-Driver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimO80eNspyEVTtcUaDONnsR6Fe4ZqzuruNoLrfqmVvc-E8UQ1ai00ujHx-EbBYEAJDjqXcCv8moING_qWKoR4g0rZuFpgbROSAU7wdxCpghCRDOrpitkhIL3A-C5ZhPxFZvGQBm9X7VPtb/s1600/Angry-Driver.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The road is unusually humpy today. And is that a guy under my car?</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And so Representative Castello, clearly bothered by anything lying face down on the street, brought up the idea of the Anti-Planking Act of 2011, stating<i> "Parents and teachers have reason to be alarmed if these similar protest actions will have as a scheme and scene otherwise warm and living bodies laid down across street highways as though they were offerings to the gods.”</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh1VhORTFOO_WLMSppbOPXJ1QgGhzarY4aBg0nNNuk73sn57o9AGg_v1Fxx5DgCfIeSfZBGvhL2seQgFPyMMKhAJ5fuKVhujpX7d_DKrMOMsXnAnwhx7zskZEu9QaCsXBaMl__mGP7hmwX/s1600/baby-planking1310703055.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh1VhORTFOO_WLMSppbOPXJ1QgGhzarY4aBg0nNNuk73sn57o9AGg_v1Fxx5DgCfIeSfZBGvhL2seQgFPyMMKhAJ5fuKVhujpX7d_DKrMOMsXnAnwhx7zskZEu9QaCsXBaMl__mGP7hmwX/s320/baby-planking1310703055.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!!</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Seriously? You're trying to abolish planking? Amid the rising gasoline prices, the pin falling peso rate, the looming terrorist attacks and unsolved car-jacking cases, not to mention that a huge mall company is somehow hosting vendetta activities/crimes of passion in its venues, you're busy pointing fingers to those idiots who like to lie face down?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For this reason, I really think that in any given day, the Congressmen at The House of Representatives decide the next bill to pass based purely on a weird logic:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Z2XagJzy_se7AJyHITWslpMaDsFepMpQplYtenQb5lzXGmc3sJ1Dk9Io8Oo_7pRgoa46JELepfi1_48XY2acxE6wA53SKNdpw-NcNuKApp0-2LK3Ed4KmM5KEGZb9jzFpiUC6yH-QZmI/s1600/checklist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="580" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Z2XagJzy_se7AJyHITWslpMaDsFepMpQplYtenQb5lzXGmc3sJ1Dk9Io8Oo_7pRgoa46JELepfi1_48XY2acxE6wA53SKNdpw-NcNuKApp0-2LK3Ed4KmM5KEGZb9jzFpiUC6yH-QZmI/s640/checklist.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Let's file an Anti-Planking Bill and call ourselves heroes!"</td></tr>
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So Why Is This Happening?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The Government, or at least, some of its dim-witted officials, will always need a bogeyman. That mythical creature hiding in our closets forever threatening us and playing with our fears and security. But at the end of the day, the bogeyman will always be what it is: An imaginary, benign, and very unimpressive monster. It never goes out of its closet. It never harms anyone. You can sleep tight.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just be sure to watch out for that TV in the kitchen.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Back in the 80's, it's the Rock Metal Bands and Marylin Manson, spewing songs of the devil, with demonic lyrics, and singing for the churches of Satan. Corrupting young minds' moral fibers, invoking them to a life of violence. Mind you, if KISS and Iron Maiden and Judas Priest is the best the Devil can come up with, we're pretty safe.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Very, very safe.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The 90's have the Gangster Rap. Reflecting urban crime and gang wars and the violent lifestyles of inner-city youths with their songs composed of 98 percent curses. Promoting violence, profanity, sex, homophobia, racism, and plenty more. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2hevLWhnHyvkzctULkCkE7Pyc7f_XDHXZTw7LeTqbMgQbiAMOXDioup9JF0MlmpGhLC95Ea4Qd2LI185PdJHOB6X0g4B1eFDFPTIKdXDjsUcvD1YwkMbIuW7KsrX7EajVWfEBfQZxQint/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2hevLWhnHyvkzctULkCkE7Pyc7f_XDHXZTw7LeTqbMgQbiAMOXDioup9JF0MlmpGhLC95Ea4Qd2LI185PdJHOB6X0g4B1eFDFPTIKdXDjsUcvD1YwkMbIuW7KsrX7EajVWfEBfQZxQint/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We can't get the Al-Qaeda into our hands, so let's blame the rappers.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When the new millennium stepped it, it's the Internet to blame. We always hear news of <a href="http://mashable.com/2010/01/10/twitter-murder/">murder due to a twitter argument</a>, or <a href="http://www.hotbloodedgaming.com/2010/08/24/ps3-online-dispute-leads-to-real-life-beating/">real-life beatings due to an online gaming</a>, and Oh God, <a href="http://newsblaze.com/story/20110115111633reye.nb/topstory.html">a baby drowns</a> while his mother is going gaga over a game in a little something called Facebook. Suddenly, the social networking site has become t<a href="http://ericaglasier.com/2010/02/08/oh-no-facebook-appears-to-be-the-antichrist/">he new Anti-Christ</a>, dragging us all helplessly into its spear of influence, and then to our own destruction.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifaFqv4kF-rSmKe042HjyOf_m3u3ndASpIRiHXO60m7hxB2BATjIj46Uw1jb_M3ixc-Loqt1uj40ad_gcb3w0E6A0WQ2wraB-eeXK-Kms_hs1G3K10_-fcpGoED_Ws6ZbQyNnftLlDL5xd/s1600/facebook_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifaFqv4kF-rSmKe042HjyOf_m3u3ndASpIRiHXO60m7hxB2BATjIj46Uw1jb_M3ixc-Loqt1uj40ad_gcb3w0E6A0WQ2wraB-eeXK-Kms_hs1G3K10_-fcpGoED_Ws6ZbQyNnftLlDL5xd/s200/facebook_logo.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon."</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Planking is no different. It's something new. It's different. And it's very easy to blame. In a world of confusion and chaos and seemingly endless crisis, this harmless fad becomes the chimerical bogeyman that some people condemns about. If there'll be story that involves crime or violence that has even the most remote connection to this kind of fad, then we all can bet our left nut the blame will all come down into it, instead of focusing on the true story. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And it happened on that faithful day of September 19, when the plight of the poor protesters fighting for their right boiled down only into a singular picture of guys lying face down on the street just because one guy failed to get the goddamn message. Truly, this country is all about surprises, but full of irony nonetheless.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Come and get us, Congressman... uhh... hey, what's that guy's name again?</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i>If you liked that, you might also want to know the</i></b> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","Tahoma","Helvetica","FreeSans",sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><b>other things that rocked our lives in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/03/why-science-will-kick-religions-ass.html" style="color: #29aae1; text-decoration: none;">Why Science Will Kick Religion's Ass</a> and the Government in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/10-things-you-should-know-when-someones.html" style="color: #29aae1; text-decoration: none;">10 Things You Should Know When Someone's Blowing Off Our Buses</a>. Also, you might want to know why Batman rocks in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html" style="color: #29aae1; text-decoration: none;">Only Human First Part: Why Batman Is Awesome</a> and <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/04/only-human-second-part-how-to-become.html" style="color: #29aae1; text-decoration: none;">Only Human Second Part: A Guide On How To Become Batman</a>.</b></i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-42754229113143201032011-09-23T02:01:00.007+08:002011-09-24T02:03:43.009+08:00Planking: The Fad That Rocked The Congress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgdk1oI3uFJFy6v2uLIHbgeckqFpko_cDdS3YnWedpkTFAHZeB2897DGRkypr9OJMLIZ-l4EgLci_yFBra0jL5uKMMcH4rBg0NO8CJR-0oXudzwHaHFT81YXPCB0jNaEx8ojd5xWmnfywS/s1600/Philippines-Transport+planking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgdk1oI3uFJFy6v2uLIHbgeckqFpko_cDdS3YnWedpkTFAHZeB2897DGRkypr9OJMLIZ-l4EgLci_yFBra0jL5uKMMcH4rBg0NO8CJR-0oXudzwHaHFT81YXPCB0jNaEx8ojd5xWmnfywS/s640/Philippines-Transport+planking.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">Why are you still here? Go ahead and enjoy the article in <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/09/planking-why-it-rocked-congress-and-why.html">Planking: Why It Rocked The Congress (And Why It Actually Shouldn't)</a></span></div><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><b>Or if you want, you can find out the other things the rocked our lives in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/03/why-science-will-kick-religions-ass.html">Why Science Will Kick Religion's Ass</a> and the Government in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/10-things-you-should-know-when-someones.html">10 Things You Should Know When Someone's Blowing Off Our Buses</a>. Also, you might want to know why Batman rocks in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human First Part: Why Batman Is Awesome</a> and <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/04/only-human-second-part-how-to-become.html">Only Human Second Part: A Guide On How To Become Batman</a>.</b></i><br />
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</div>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-20589999488478443032011-08-15T19:49:00.000+08:002011-08-15T19:49:16.310+08:00Chocolate Mousse<div class="MsoNormal">Chocolate Mousse is a dessert that girls love and contains some chocolates and has a lot more air than your average “chicharong bula”. “Mouse” is derived from the French word which means “lather” or “foam”. typically made from egg and cream (classically no cream, separated eggs, sugar, and chocolate or other flavorings), usually in combination with other flavors such as chocolate or puréed fruit. Basically, it’s 10 percent rich chocolate and 90 percent decadent nothing.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_a-vgojF7sL5byZqauPtz3_80chfWFaHXppDNOb_xHeepxeKx_shp9kySSC3EjhM7hnsp9icdDGonoDs7tcLe4vOWWdxz41JBUacge-h1Ts76umiWbGjpkRqn0VA1VftO8VOQk2Hdvho1/s1600/5966632-home-made-chocolate-cake-with-mouse-figuredfghdg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="530" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_a-vgojF7sL5byZqauPtz3_80chfWFaHXppDNOb_xHeepxeKx_shp9kySSC3EjhM7hnsp9icdDGonoDs7tcLe4vOWWdxz41JBUacge-h1Ts76umiWbGjpkRqn0VA1VftO8VOQk2Hdvho1/s640/5966632-home-made-chocolate-cake-with-mouse-figuredfghdg.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Above: Wrong picture.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Just the facts</span></div><br />
1. Just like most chocolates, it was invented by the French.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">2. It can range from “creamy and thick”, to “light and fluffy”, to ”fart bomb”.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. When chocolate mousse was invented, it was known as chocolate mayonnaise (no kidding!).</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">History</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Like the statues of Easter Island, the clear origins of the chocolate mousse is relatively unknown. </span><span style="font-size: small;"> All we know is that after being introduced to chocolate by the Spanish, French chefs have been whipping chocolate since the early 17th century. Mousse, which means "foam", originated in France in the 18th century. Then something happened, and the French started cooking with chocolate and making dishes with foamy textures came together for "mousse au chocolat" or "chocolate Mousse". Hopefully without </span><span style="font-size: small;">any </span><span style="font-size: small;">involvement from extra-terrestrials, as Conspiracy Theorists always suggest.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_wqpqL8D3df4mRV2oOqQRTx3okYOUKaLo8BPKrjltZvqIPhgA-7IG-QFeL_TsD3VKPmbjb5-N912uI9O8nGVZOdBNQufH8vInmXcWY6t292exKiQ8mM3vMJ-IyD_GRjIqe6jFujik9Aj/s1600/ufo+cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_wqpqL8D3df4mRV2oOqQRTx3okYOUKaLo8BPKrjltZvqIPhgA-7IG-QFeL_TsD3VKPmbjb5-N912uI9O8nGVZOdBNQufH8vInmXcWY6t292exKiQ8mM3vMJ-IyD_GRjIqe6jFujik9Aj/s400/ufo+cake.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because behind every fucking unknown origin is an alien.<span style="font-size: small;"></span></td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">In 1977, in New York City, chef Michel Fitoussi created a white chocolate mousse, which for a period of time was extremely popular (up until then chocolate mousse always used dark chocolate). Now one can find both types of chocolate mousse, but in France it is almost always based on dark chocolate.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Ingredients</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Chocolate - the essential element of the dessert.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Egg white – whipped into foam then added to the hot melted chocolate, mixed along with profanities you blurt out due to finger burns.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Air – Because a chocolate mousse without air is an act against God. </div><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just two cups of this. And you're good.</td></tr>
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Sugar - Mainly to make the dessert sweeter. Without sugar, the mousse will just a lifeless block of piercing bitterness and hate.<br />
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Cream - Added to give the mousse that softer and lighter texture. If dark chocolate is being used, the cream will make the dessert taste more like milk chocolate.<br />
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Egg yolks - possibly you've thrown away already because you thought you only need egg-whites to make the mousse. Egg yolks add a rich taste to the dessert.<br />
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Butter - Like egg yolks, add a richness to the dessert.<br />
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Flavourings and other ingridients - Can be vanilla, caramel, of coffee. Also, love potions/love herbs can be added if you'll be giving it to the boy/girl next door, or rat poison for your dickish boss/landlady.<br />
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Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-36918131968984725052011-04-01T00:57:00.095+08:002012-07-19T10:34:04.194+08:00Only Human Second Part: A Guide On How To Become Batman<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlibdoc7AG5WOFMhj-ORmA-6rDTCIsTyoL9VFRBcwTaQkyBN53U6pOkHCBo33CYwVkqI1sIHTFrA3Zfbo4R9dqlboOrieUtRqCI7k9SWB_X00rvMMeX9E1hFccxcHon0ivaUOUU4GrYofS/s1600/header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlibdoc7AG5WOFMhj-ORmA-6rDTCIsTyoL9VFRBcwTaQkyBN53U6pOkHCBo33CYwVkqI1sIHTFrA3Zfbo4R9dqlboOrieUtRqCI7k9SWB_X00rvMMeX9E1hFccxcHon0ivaUOUU4GrYofS/s640/header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Batman is freaking awesome. He's more than just a man. I'd already <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">pointed that out</a>. Or if you don't believe me, at least have faith in Liam Neeson, he's a stone badass. Damn, have you seen <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0936501/">Taken</a><i>?</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: x-small;">He 'd done this to every fucking guy in the movie.</span></div><br />
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</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">In <i>Batman Begins</i>, Liam Neeson trained Bruce Wayne to be, not Batman, but the top Assassin/Arsonist/Harbinger of Death/Whatever Fucking Nut Job They Wish To Do For The Day of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/League_of_Assassins">The League<i> </i>Of Shadows</a>, which, from the sound of its name, nothing good will ever come out.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: x-small;">What? No light-sabers?</span></div></td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">But unfortunately for them, Wayne didn't want to dick around with innocent and helpless people, and went a different way, and turned out to be the badass, bat suit-wearing, rooftop-jumping, ass-kicking Caped Crusader.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Presumably, he's not a fan of Ken Watanabe.</td></tr>
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</tbody></table>Hell, the real world, like the Comicbookland, is way, way cooler with Batman around. He's tough. He's strong. He cares for the innocent and the suppressed...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...and the body count.</td></tr>
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But fear no more. If becoming Batman is really one of your wet dreams and we can't bring goddamn Liam Neeson because damn, he's now doing Zeus <a href="http://screenrant.com/liam-neeson-clash-titans-2-wrath-sandy-91259/">again in his upcoming movie</a>, here's your chance to take the mantle of the Caped Crusader, just in case you confidently believe that you're up to it.<br />
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The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Batman: Arkham Asylum </i>website lists Batman’s profile, including his mind-blowing attributes for his crime-fighting spree. That's right, you need <i>every single one of them</i> to become a one-man crime stopping army. And after each one, I’ve put the faces of men and women, dead or alive, that are the very epitome of each ass-kicking trait.<br />
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We’ll tackle each dude right after and tell you why these guys went down in history as few of the most kickass persons that ever walked our planet and why you don't want to mess up with anyone of them even once in your life even if you have the chance. That's right. These are real-life Batman's, well at least if you pile them up into a single dude. And you have to be <i>like each one of these guys</i> to call yourself ready to jump off rooftops.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span><br />
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Like Batman, you will be working like you have adrenaline pumping in your veins instead of blood. If you've played as Batman in <i>Arkham Asylum</i>, the entire thing happens in <i>one freaking night</i>. In the time that Bruce Wayne should be sleeping, or dining with the bigwigs, or caressing some girl's hair, he's in Arkham Asylum, breaking escaped inmate's jaws. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bruce Wayne's pre-sleep ritual.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">If you think that's sleep-deprivation, in the episode of Justice League "Only a Dream", Batman , having no sleep for the past three days, fought and beat crap out of the nightmare-inducing villain <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Destiny">Dr. Destiny</a> all by goddamn himself. Why? That's because the rest of the freaking League, Superman and all, has been trapped useless in their dreams.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Dr. Destiny's last moments in the hands of Batman is too painful to type, you can just watch the video.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/EeRELF_9TVM/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EeRELF_9TVM&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EeRELF_9TVM&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">And how did he do it? Because he trained himself to the point that no amount of physical or mental obstacle can ever stop him.
<h2> </h2></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guys!</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: small;">The Shaolin Monks</span></b>
<h2><b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></b></h2></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNbxqr4PmfN1Go7R1Qi2XeSFn1L8Kfd5WO0FZuhM3ovBWg2qW7Xw8-nyXVYHxhPj3JaauEBuHjVu85d5rFzt8RsMDmtMkXeQlz2DD0SpN-DEqprt67mWmdurzPyA2RZ0xIuDjM4zQnw-jI/s1600/Shaolin+Monks06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNbxqr4PmfN1Go7R1Qi2XeSFn1L8Kfd5WO0FZuhM3ovBWg2qW7Xw8-nyXVYHxhPj3JaauEBuHjVu85d5rFzt8RsMDmtMkXeQlz2DD0SpN-DEqprt67mWmdurzPyA2RZ0xIuDjM4zQnw-jI/s320/Shaolin+Monks06.jpg" width="277" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><h2> </h2>The Shaolin Monks are always on the height of their physical and mental condition. That means on any given time of their day they can do a finger-stand (see picture above), perform complicated weapons maneuver, and break your neck, and won't even give a fuss over it.
<h2> </h2></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOCQSOK2R8DLdfLu1nEyH5apSI66qUIM1P-pvDwb7_YqTUGOcACQHcnu2yygd4HHSRgpXcQavMUPLWJT6_2RVG7aPurfNOdx2qBFkyWNhLmRa9Ul16Z78LoNDVdXplQd25BRSdvKpkW6Q8/s1600/shaolin_monks1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOCQSOK2R8DLdfLu1nEyH5apSI66qUIM1P-pvDwb7_YqTUGOcACQHcnu2yygd4HHSRgpXcQavMUPLWJT6_2RVG7aPurfNOdx2qBFkyWNhLmRa9Ul16Z78LoNDVdXplQd25BRSdvKpkW6Q8/s320/shaolin_monks1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They do this before pizza.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>Shaolin training is long, hard, and brutal. No wonder, most monks start training at the age of five. It's a life-long drill. <a href="http://www.pier55.com/careers-money/unusual-jobs/how-to-become-a-shaolin-monk/">They follow as many as ten precepts for their training.</a> These are the set of rules or philosophy to maximize their physical and mental potential. Yes folks, every time they move, even if they're just running an errand, or breaking some guy's ribs, they're constantly incorporating these ten rules. Which makes your Masteral Degree in Quantumn Physics as easy as pie.
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKJbAYsakhp5ytrMa1WSzfQhmUR84cN7vLc9Yd2Kd0AODh1EwyIAuH4DV9WN9715pVGc7Djwij5tKgAqAtEUp2_pu1x8BHQS-D-YkkUyzzJ2J2mpWYi8bsG9kKl3jRh-7DKgtVBupYX6Xu/s1600/thai-monks-eating-house-blessing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKJbAYsakhp5ytrMa1WSzfQhmUR84cN7vLc9Yd2Kd0AODh1EwyIAuH4DV9WN9715pVGc7Djwij5tKgAqAtEUp2_pu1x8BHQS-D-YkkUyzzJ2J2mpWYi8bsG9kKl3jRh-7DKgtVBupYX6Xu/s320/thai-monks-eating-house-blessing.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> They also have freaking lush breakfasts. <br />
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</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOHGbp70jumc0wOPxHwB2auhHE_WqMZMkIfi8uc5RYZSZfhE89gbLQ5LJ02616xWvqO6IXM_uWRIiD1Rq87GfsAKdTSzcthBcfIulo9_VYmsx64hVPwyp9d_tY5P_1S_VaVTQjpDvo6eiM/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOHGbp70jumc0wOPxHwB2auhHE_WqMZMkIfi8uc5RYZSZfhE89gbLQ5LJ02616xWvqO6IXM_uWRIiD1Rq87GfsAKdTSzcthBcfIulo9_VYmsx64hVPwyp9d_tY5P_1S_VaVTQjpDvo6eiM/s640/2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2> </h2>If there's one thing that we envy mostly about Batman, aside from the girls he's banging, that will be his shitload of gadgets. Admit it, if he'll be having a Batcave Garage Sale tomorrow, most probably you're one of those who'll line in the queue for days.
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXGORgOaMFPA9GJ741NdgDfaUSwA8ORNr_h6ZAZKc6BlIZ27rvzo_vdqFDNNBTWkX4IzX3FXjLBN2pbP9hgXw3OCcafLI8R5HlqCZ-lJufXHv4z_GO7l9gg-2oEZ3UTog2Yn9fGMICrHjV/s1600/bmobilesale1.1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="393" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXGORgOaMFPA9GJ741NdgDfaUSwA8ORNr_h6ZAZKc6BlIZ27rvzo_vdqFDNNBTWkX4IzX3FXjLBN2pbP9hgXw3OCcafLI8R5HlqCZ-lJufXHv4z_GO7l9gg-2oEZ3UTog2Yn9fGMICrHjV/s640/bmobilesale1.1.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And probably will suck up on prices, too</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><h2> </h2>You should have an assload of gadgets, as Batman do. He has a gadget for virtually everything. He has a gadget for flying, one for grappling, for climbing high places, re-breathers, explosive gels, shark-repellents, flame-throwers, smoke-grenades, Kevlar-armors, infrared scanners, termite grenades (wait, what?), knives, explosive shurikens, metal marbles, evidence bags, listening devices, acetylene torches, a motorcycle, a quantum cryptographer (whatever that is), a kickass car, and anything you can think of that is hi-tech, black, and with a bat logo attached on to it.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY00XuMTPFuWe6E7j_C42njdj8L5bH25K8TTcEfGKZsn4bgKQETkLAitbunzuqIn5dczlP87s2mfeuTwLhCw1M_WttUOo4m2UyEKsr7236lyXA7p3B7wqex7dl3lO-3nwWoYxYz98JhLzq/s1600/battoothpics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY00XuMTPFuWe6E7j_C42njdj8L5bH25K8TTcEfGKZsn4bgKQETkLAitbunzuqIn5dczlP87s2mfeuTwLhCw1M_WttUOo4m2UyEKsr7236lyXA7p3B7wqex7dl3lO-3nwWoYxYz98JhLzq/s320/battoothpics.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Like Bat-toothpics.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><h2> </h2><h2> </h2>Batman's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman">over-arching traits</a> can be boiled down into four main categories; physical prowess, deductive abilities, obsession, and wealth. Batman's arsenal of gadgetries corresponds to that last category. He has the most technologically advanced devices in his disposal. And freaking why not? He's the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and Wayne Technology, the branch that manufactures weapons and military devices, is its biggest subsidiary. <a href="http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Wayne_Enterprises">Also it is involved in the retrieval and research of alien technology.</a>
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQtqGQkQbO94Bi8hP1UuBzKPaY8pYGfVq-SP-gtchfQGK4XQRXTEnMYUDSxIp9yZELaU7dxcvKajF7lm3VhKgjkjrvfsofSyLfykVZYEphHjNG5gapmTMAW8_nFkDMvbS1E3ad9mGFhljL/s1600/Roswell_museum_display_new_prop1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="449" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQtqGQkQbO94Bi8hP1UuBzKPaY8pYGfVq-SP-gtchfQGK4XQRXTEnMYUDSxIp9yZELaU7dxcvKajF7lm3VhKgjkjrvfsofSyLfykVZYEphHjNG5gapmTMAW8_nFkDMvbS1E3ad9mGFhljL/s640/Roswell_museum_display_new_prop1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It doesn't always go well.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>So next time Batman swung an electrically charged Batarang with hypersonic sound waves and detonating gunpowder inside, you can be sure there's a bit of alien in it.
<h2> </h2> <span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guys!</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> <b> </b></h2><b>Special Weapons And Tactics (S.W.A.T.)</b>
<h2><b> </b></h2><b> </b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuS2c1nHi4tUrXVuXw1PoseFeJr-ZiyGJCHX-h7YIFotQyys3yk-sooWMEc3iBnaZe44YW_GI4JjHDGAyyAC0aXlPQ4qye-3QEnzyJNoNvb8Yt_KIH9_P9eWJdbWLh7TKSS3ayn9c1KtNi/s1600/swat-on-psp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuS2c1nHi4tUrXVuXw1PoseFeJr-ZiyGJCHX-h7YIFotQyys3yk-sooWMEc3iBnaZe44YW_GI4JjHDGAyyAC0aXlPQ4qye-3QEnzyJNoNvb8Yt_KIH9_P9eWJdbWLh7TKSS3ayn9c1KtNi/s400/swat-on-psp.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><h2> </h2>There's nothing really alien about the <a href="http://s.w.a.t/">S.W.A.T</a>. equipments, but just like Batman, their weapons are aimed toward stealth, assault, interception, hostage-rescues and urban warfare. And they have an assload of them as well. Their name is not even a lame a giveaway. Special Weapons And Tactics. Hell. Just look at their basic armor and weaponry set-up.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZy3TWg8fSCoDOy_dL3HrRhzZtcb1Jt3b1j6gItr1Em2ehiKn_Od4_tIm7oizNEak60WIBwK0_9JqYgQ4MlgwF48g3oxoP1BQpsCBAv-IjJIS5ki4RE1Vq8MHF7wWs2ErMvqM8aW-P9LF/s1600/SWAT_Front1.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZy3TWg8fSCoDOy_dL3HrRhzZtcb1Jt3b1j6gItr1Em2ehiKn_Od4_tIm7oizNEak60WIBwK0_9JqYgQ4MlgwF48g3oxoP1BQpsCBAv-IjJIS5ki4RE1Vq8MHF7wWs2ErMvqM8aW-P9LF/s640/SWAT_Front1.1.jpg" width="526" /></a></div><h2> </h2>Just imagine, the S.W.A.T. guys carrying this kind of set-up on their every single operation. It could almost rival that of Batman. Just take off the guns, add a few more high-tech gadgets that the S.W.A.T. would never probably use in their entire existence like the grappler, alien detector, kryptonite ring, security key hacker, goo-shooter, among others. Only, in Batman's case, it will only amount to this:
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7e_7JOw4LB89AQAQZwPA8KeFMkWwxUh-6tilXhwgw9t4nY5ejSxas1iX3I8k00slj4-vEYg-9g-616yHXbpDRxu1myl8hkEv6tJ1Vx7cjLO6VNgJYIQepezlkeBx0-Irz7G1YOWutm02b/s1600/utility_belt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7e_7JOw4LB89AQAQZwPA8KeFMkWwxUh-6tilXhwgw9t4nY5ejSxas1iX3I8k00slj4-vEYg-9g-616yHXbpDRxu1myl8hkEv6tJ1Vx7cjLO6VNgJYIQepezlkeBx0-Irz7G1YOWutm02b/s400/utility_belt.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whipped up from the Roswell Crash.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>For the most part, the S.W.A.T. dudes might be badasses of urban tactics and hostile takeover, but these guys are just puny kindergartens compared to Batman that is the menacing high school bully, taking away their guns from them like candy. This clip from "The Dark Knight" shows how Batman kicked the S.W.A.T. Teams' neoprene-padded asses.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/6FWeiErUgvY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div align="center">(For a clearer version of this clip, click <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFSqcqK3KB4">here</a>.)</div><h2> </h2>Batman effortlessly beat the crap out of them despite secondary objectives (saving the hostages), and an alarming, looming threat (The Joker). Clearly, we have a mismatch here.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLB0kUv_zkNI9OMcLeOoVnI_rs9vJ9YhCUYss6intXRNGgEYTrT_hU0z0SR2ciDhYHwvhobbwM_UR1un-ZPbs1Qta9B33jH1wFCqRZ8P3ZhNO8VXEoa4V-FdI5rfcse-nxvVeSFW4pxMup/s1600/morg1.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLB0kUv_zkNI9OMcLeOoVnI_rs9vJ9YhCUYss6intXRNGgEYTrT_hU0z0SR2ciDhYHwvhobbwM_UR1un-ZPbs1Qta9B33jH1wFCqRZ8P3ZhNO8VXEoa4V-FdI5rfcse-nxvVeSFW4pxMup/s320/morg1.1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If God works for you, you'll kick butt, too.<br />
<h2> </h2></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwr2Egbta30ifZ_5wpdwFdehyphenhyphenGjD089aQsS6oyFf8oRFKaFBe5nvFmIZMzHu1-NMwNqjuk1MD_NILGB7tvVLyS_erhIlbn9K3jNzH_8nzXxnnqa8DpEZkmWa4p_N34S0y4l47O4QuYmmHX/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwr2Egbta30ifZ_5wpdwFdehyphenhyphenGjD089aQsS6oyFf8oRFKaFBe5nvFmIZMzHu1-NMwNqjuk1MD_NILGB7tvVLyS_erhIlbn9K3jNzH_8nzXxnnqa8DpEZkmWa4p_N34S0y4l47O4QuYmmHX/s640/3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2> </h2>To most of us, Batman is "The Dark Knight" a.k.a. "The Caped Crusader" a.k.a. "The Batman" a.k.a. One Of This Motherfucker's 200 + Aliases. But to his peers and villain alike, he is the "World's Greatest Detective". If you want to call yourself ready to be a crime-fighter, your deductive ability, observation, power of anticipation, and crime-solving prowess should be unmatched and almost preter-natural, just like the Dark Knight. Still recalling how he cracked Sue Dibny's murder case? He had done this countless times. Solving crimes that had everybody else left dumb-founded. And, most of time, he's doing the thinking while kicking villain's assess.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDAzDpZ2lamyPgTzAUC_XcU-KBklxrijYVRA9-tn0xrF7gt_0pbOjLZWtO2NDd_S2An8MACLK3SoOEclh73bDHJP4FkTMwOK0lzxnvJCqnVBKJru9tuiDDPV8TnflJF7gGZ1pyDtTfT55W/s1600/detective1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="488" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDAzDpZ2lamyPgTzAUC_XcU-KBklxrijYVRA9-tn0xrF7gt_0pbOjLZWtO2NDd_S2An8MACLK3SoOEclh73bDHJP4FkTMwOK0lzxnvJCqnVBKJru9tuiDDPV8TnflJF7gGZ1pyDtTfT55W/s640/detective1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><h2> </h2>And even the guys at CSI, with their asses combines, won't do that, and will never be able to do that.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJUHZYkPGbzyjLeJsq-Ngxxx5OKAhgidV-dS7t4JmyVyCN88iYUpCFLomT2BA_jmTjHWT2pGgkyEHurIFLLhtChKOfWN7pG0PV4je2sJGcRDGaQHKEQNKwpi1S-GqPE6O3M-1X-SywMWLf/s1600/csi-miami195.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJUHZYkPGbzyjLeJsq-Ngxxx5OKAhgidV-dS7t4JmyVyCN88iYUpCFLomT2BA_jmTjHWT2pGgkyEHurIFLLhtChKOfWN7pG0PV4je2sJGcRDGaQHKEQNKwpi1S-GqPE6O3M-1X-SywMWLf/s320/csi-miami195.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hell. This isn't even part of their job description. No. Seriously.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>And by the way, do you know who started this "World's Greatest Detective" moniker? Superman you say? Wonder Woman? Nope. It's one of his formidable nemesis, his intellectual and physical equal, the nearly-immortal Ra's al Ghul. Ra's age has not been clear. he lives for quite long thanks to the Lazarus Pit. His first appearance in Batman #232', "Daughter of the Demon", introduces him as 700 years old, in Azrael #6, he says he's 450 years old, while in Batman: Birth of the Demon, he assumed he's 500 years old.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QPCtW95-Wr_mdjRNHRInA8dn7xVKsPc-q7eezR283LO6x49G-Vd-6_uqqfizjRYFw4Im3SBPqwaZs62Hu3SpQvoOaZP3nszKwTcdXv8RydCzKe-EIbN0Mi2yDD5_ACsF74xznpjLoIAE/s1600/ras.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QPCtW95-Wr_mdjRNHRInA8dn7xVKsPc-q7eezR283LO6x49G-Vd-6_uqqfizjRYFw4Im3SBPqwaZs62Hu3SpQvoOaZP3nszKwTcdXv8RydCzKe-EIbN0Mi2yDD5_ACsF74xznpjLoIAE/s320/ras.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If you lived that freaking long, you'd be confused as well.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>And what is he doing within that past five centuries? He traveled the world, trained himself in war tactics, operations, and strategies, and honed himself to be an expert in detective works. Yes, just like Batman did. Only, Ra's has 670 years more to use up, which clearly shows up the mismatch here. He's <a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100918220520AA4i2pF">one of the very few people</a> who deduced Batman's alter-ego. But still, he considered Batman, despite being his sheer enemy, as his intellectual equivalent, or probably even greater, and always giving him his due respect and confidence that Batman will go through whatever mental drill the day will throw at him
<h2> </h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guy!</span> <b> </b>
<h2><b> </b></h2><b>Detective Ellis Parker</b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisYmRs7GsWBzijxui2cF959YFDu1Nf-x7A_UslRLONLgsqHhPjth2NYjSuzMvnYJytHlKcLsiFVe7rncVdkzLoZUk1NdFm93gKOTcXLZOWYDUsUqWfk48s_c0pfmKxK4UhKzb11mRRs44r/s1600/ellisparker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisYmRs7GsWBzijxui2cF959YFDu1Nf-x7A_UslRLONLgsqHhPjth2NYjSuzMvnYJytHlKcLsiFVe7rncVdkzLoZUk1NdFm93gKOTcXLZOWYDUsUqWfk48s_c0pfmKxK4UhKzb11mRRs44r/s320/ellisparker.jpg" width="215" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi9v3wZUAb2qd5ea_iVwreNe4H7-wxukQSJndrSbKILfYVg8QePp5yvQbQQ4v4pJuTrLncPDeWH_X9X-Up0BK_1y0bAN2SF0NEPFuZNoEWetiA6D99Ew57HNvfBibZT0GEFQkqCMUNujdu/s1600/ellisparker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div><h2> </h2>In the Comicbookland, the "Greatest Detective" title might belong to Batman, but in the real world, Ellis Parker owns the tile. Yes, gentlemen, he is "America's Greatest Detective". And because he is so uber-awesome as a sleuth and crime-solver, people also dubbed him as a "Real-life Sherlock Holmes". And how many cases should you be handling and solving each year to receive such monikers? 100? 300 cases you say? Each year, Parker handled over 1,000 cases. That's how badass he was.
<h2> </h2>Because of this credibility, he was also consulted by other detectives, investigators, lawmen, and district attorneys from all over the continental U.S. Using his 4,000 gigabyte per second processing brain , he assisted authorities in tracking down and arresting felons from notorious, malevolent murderers to informal, day-to day perpetrators.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbefGPZ1m-5f4g6w-dzSGYO8XdaZSGCy3Eh1XaW0sO_hnksNGU44T_s4XclbxiNzrBxSXq7_bdUJzazcOWJ7KEie8ZfoKaYlqrt8BMYf08BmmY8qA-s5LERzLVM5MSYUvH18JkWpeA57MR/s1600/bawal1.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbefGPZ1m-5f4g6w-dzSGYO8XdaZSGCy3Eh1XaW0sO_hnksNGU44T_s4XclbxiNzrBxSXq7_bdUJzazcOWJ7KEie8ZfoKaYlqrt8BMYf08BmmY8qA-s5LERzLVM5MSYUvH18JkWpeA57MR/s400/bawal1.1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Informal, day-to-day perpetrators.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>Like Batman, Ellis Parker had solved crimes that left everyones else scratching their heads and nibbling their pencils. And like him, Parker's awesomeness had made him unpopular to those dicks on the top who thinks his talent is way too much for a gumshoe and getting in their way. After <a href="http://www.johnreisinger.com/EP.html">digging in a controversial kidnap case</a> known as "The Crime of the Century", Parker was charged with obstruction of justice and was sent to federal jail where he died.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrtsfr6XJ33IuJVwL-1CS1Hl18hq6vZY1FvdfafvDrukPs4zcJLTl8F1wopFQtJftm1rb0R8MrOB6nNt5XxL67QCSvl8DNw6o1nBaz1BIF7YGU5eHInXQXkCP8dv6tK96ah7gFLzsOUE-S/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrtsfr6XJ33IuJVwL-1CS1Hl18hq6vZY1FvdfafvDrukPs4zcJLTl8F1wopFQtJftm1rb0R8MrOB6nNt5XxL67QCSvl8DNw6o1nBaz1BIF7YGU5eHInXQXkCP8dv6tK96ah7gFLzsOUE-S/s640/4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Remember the mismatch between Batman and the S.W.A.T.? Well, this is the reason.</span> <span style="font-size: small;">Aside from the cool gadgets and a meaty brain, Batman knows how to fight. And he knows every virtual way there is on how to do it. He traveled all over the world to learn various styles and techniques of fighting, and became an expert on them.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> That means you should be, too.</span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">DCwikia.com summarizes Bruce's globe-trotting, soul-searching, trip to learn the ways of the world on kicking asses.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">"<i>While abroad, Wayne learned 127 major styles of combat, from Aikido to Yaw-Yan. Frenchman Henri Ducard made him an apprentice in man-hunting. The ninja Kirigi, and other ninja shadow masters, schooled Wayne in stealth and the ways of the shadow warrior. African Bushman (the Ghost Tribes of the Ten-Eyed Brotherhood, among others) taught hunting techniques, while Nepalese monks revealed healing arts</i>." </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Yes, that's right. He learned 127 goddamn combat styles, meaning he knows 127 ways to break every joint in you have in your body, and 126 more to bust the ribs of the other guy with you.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkyPHovMEJRhYjtEBefUUcJ_ozcroDl9ZD38KctvTkA7pANTftvng66aoA44LTjxY87hv7TXER9a75vYvQinX8Rhz3cOkC2fKRHtJq4EMJ5dtZIhnPknFkauMFpAP5_TDbqNChD04IXRsI/s1600/batmancurse1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkyPHovMEJRhYjtEBefUUcJ_ozcroDl9ZD38KctvTkA7pANTftvng66aoA44LTjxY87hv7TXER9a75vYvQinX8Rhz3cOkC2fKRHtJq4EMJ5dtZIhnPknFkauMFpAP5_TDbqNChD04IXRsI/s320/batmancurse1.jpg" width="210" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's after he cursed you in 127 languages.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">And what does a guy who knows that many combat styles can do? </span><span style="font-size: small;">Forget his S.W.A.T. skirmish. He's taking a break on that, or probably hungry. Watch this video as he crippled dozens of these Batista-sized goons.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/RCy2uO_f-sw/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RCy2uO_f-sw&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RCy2uO_f-sw&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">I know what you're trying to say. He doesn't look like a human being in that. To be honest, most goons he'd crippled had the same comment. They always think they're surrounded, but they're only fighting one guy in a bat suit. That's how kickass he is.</span>
<h2> </h2> <span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guys!</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></h2><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The Navy SEALs</b></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7oXnzAO56qG_W_lpbrOmatU383M-NHXdatSoC0Xj3T4TOnZvHTH9dQx8Ta-YWlIThuliV8j-c8ZJBook8IqJbQOGhvMAgrijVBaZYvfEbzGzxeqcrdQzthx9NBnpJG663NcR7SRZBYX_W/s1600/U.S.-Navy-SEALs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7oXnzAO56qG_W_lpbrOmatU383M-NHXdatSoC0Xj3T4TOnZvHTH9dQx8Ta-YWlIThuliV8j-c8ZJBook8IqJbQOGhvMAgrijVBaZYvfEbzGzxeqcrdQzthx9NBnpJG663NcR7SRZBYX_W/s320/U.S.-Navy-SEALs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">The <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1178021262">Navy </a></span><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.navyseals.com/">SEAL</a> is the closest thing to being Batman when it comes to the number of hand to hand combat techniques they know. Being one of this ass-kicking guys is not easy, they have 75 to 80 percent drop-out rate on a regular basis. Meaning that for every 100 hopeful dudes who enter the classes, 80 of them will throw-up, cry, and think of going home, probably while reminiscing the times they were free and just drinking beer.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSwc6scq-w8OZStsjoAR75p67myZLK3WYwIJwwbLz2EmhQPRZBjPmMcynidCUpYC7qBUHqQ6mxdokrqg1kY9GFw3ZdeBHmzJXf29-lWF61n7AVlVXeHhyRyftLVCtBZshnlU5Yd6qOtX42/s1600/sealtraining.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSwc6scq-w8OZStsjoAR75p67myZLK3WYwIJwwbLz2EmhQPRZBjPmMcynidCUpYC7qBUHqQ6mxdokrqg1kY9GFw3ZdeBHmzJXf29-lWF61n7AVlVXeHhyRyftLVCtBZshnlU5Yd6qOtX42/s320/sealtraining.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And not being randomly drowned by some guy in uniform.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Like the monks, they go through long and tough physical trainings. And that includes learning various martial arts. SEAL's arsenal of martail arts include the Close Quarter Combats, and various fighting style all over the world like Japaneses and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Kung Fu, Karate, Judo, Western Boxing, Muay Thai, Krav Maga, Sylat Knife Techniques, Wrestling and other <a href="http://www.ehow.com/about_6655976_hand_to_hand-combat-training-seals.html">50 more combats</a> styles designed to break international terrorists' clavicles. Just imagine cramming that number of techniques in your arsenal.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWfWq03Hbk0HytkOYYsnSLON0dkSkdW2eV2s4csZeX_YuskVixyPvHNTruQMz4X5xA4kNcKFHhVuV7Sz7J5xDf1ggAqUkwKaJXQkR_2SskBYtB5TcgdCv2JFdNr7b9IGQjaYeg2Dr7gIlk/s1600/393px-US_Navy_050823-N-3443B-001_Basic_Underwater_Demolition-Sea%252C_Air_and_Land_%2528SEAL%2529_students_take_part_in_Log_PT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWfWq03Hbk0HytkOYYsnSLON0dkSkdW2eV2s4csZeX_YuskVixyPvHNTruQMz4X5xA4kNcKFHhVuV7Sz7J5xDf1ggAqUkwKaJXQkR_2SskBYtB5TcgdCv2JFdNr7b9IGQjaYeg2Dr7gIlk/s320/393px-US_Navy_050823-N-3443B-001_Basic_Underwater_Demolition-Sea%252C_Air_and_Land_%2528SEAL%2529_students_take_part_in_Log_PT.jpg" width="209" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The SEALs during their moments of relaxation. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Though they may be not learning as many combat skills as Batman did, these elite professionals are one of the best soldiers in the world. But, you might be asking, what are the odds of Batman if he ever he goes against these guys. Well, can you still remember how the marines fare against the Predator until Arnold Schwarzenegger saved the day?</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhVaJ4OzAXdWR5qFRsrPVRred7kW1SwOLjTF6ETKjuNeHtk4psN3HdL1N3YtQx5suRwkRlB3k6zYkGbmiA-TBHF_tEABQVnjoGqy_xQ3W1gmoRHlCh9tzaOnxHIPk5cpG6Gw_dQ9dlqQK/s1600/batmanvspredator_1a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhVaJ4OzAXdWR5qFRsrPVRred7kW1SwOLjTF6ETKjuNeHtk4psN3HdL1N3YtQx5suRwkRlB3k6zYkGbmiA-TBHF_tEABQVnjoGqy_xQ3W1gmoRHlCh9tzaOnxHIPk5cpG6Gw_dQ9dlqQK/s320/batmanvspredator_1a.jpg" width="210" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Batman pawned them. Three times in a row. You do the math.<br />
<br />
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></h2></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUGWOAbXwT2Alwb3vcZfNXenkD5hhDhgq42mWM5gYARBZrclrqGMWaXvqNTrGy35ZfcO4tNHojNCLxXTO1sbd2H_2lKVYYamnWTMvOdOSC9Os8yIWUf8xAAgure3W6-DPCZTCO1HVs-L2D/s1600/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUGWOAbXwT2Alwb3vcZfNXenkD5hhDhgq42mWM5gYARBZrclrqGMWaXvqNTrGy35ZfcO4tNHojNCLxXTO1sbd2H_2lKVYYamnWTMvOdOSC9Os8yIWUf8xAAgure3W6-DPCZTCO1HVs-L2D/s640/5.jpg" width="640" /><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell? </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Your goal is to be is a one-man crime-fighting army. That means that after going through all the crime scene analysis and deducing the perpetrators, you have to hunt down those who are responsible, and make them pay the due, probably with gnashing teeth and all.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF_RhxCkpERsIm3ggsWCUpjWp-WZfdTKvaBdj2vmnCIlTUKFRtteSHrPV-HPZEVl0rW-sFVOljnKLB1N42N-fwShSK65sfaenHRdtcZnY4yt0p1a6BPrX4nPa6s4cjnUOed_VdxvU-kf9n/s1600/batmanangry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF_RhxCkpERsIm3ggsWCUpjWp-WZfdTKvaBdj2vmnCIlTUKFRtteSHrPV-HPZEVl0rW-sFVOljnKLB1N42N-fwShSK65sfaenHRdtcZnY4yt0p1a6BPrX4nPa6s4cjnUOed_VdxvU-kf9n/s400/batmanangry.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Batman getting his due.<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">And as a crime-fighter, you need to understand the criminal's mind, their motivation, how they operate, their whereabouts, and most importantly, how to turn those knowledge against them. And you'll be chasing bazillions of criminals, ranging from petty thieves to psychotic, make-up wearing, criminal masterminds.</span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMHqq2-ebktM2ucENM0kYlgwWVLA5a-nOrzJzgi7hd0mh2RQrRKKcnkKbrYbR3b4EsSmRQk8NzjlVPje_-cqd1jcEdwt9KOE38JQJSz1KG3QGyIy7fGMTkfJalNuZfvGrkYRBM59oD87FS/s1600/joker_1275674595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMHqq2-ebktM2ucENM0kYlgwWVLA5a-nOrzJzgi7hd0mh2RQrRKKcnkKbrYbR3b4EsSmRQk8NzjlVPje_-cqd1jcEdwt9KOE38JQJSz1KG3QGyIy7fGMTkfJalNuZfvGrkYRBM59oD87FS/s320/joker_1275674595.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guy!</span>
<h2> </h2> <b><span style="font-size: small;">Inspector Dave Toschi</span></b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiZnATEzc_PQJkYNKaVS9Gad-RmyaqBk1eifSuL1hHTYEA9IVHoJUU96r6rdMbgkDf46JXPcQtdTFKCYBXreFR5BZIiellcmt7I-71ja-u6-CIUeVrrpcEz4_FjYHwLn94WtdrTjiktGsl/s1600/dave-toschi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiZnATEzc_PQJkYNKaVS9Gad-RmyaqBk1eifSuL1hHTYEA9IVHoJUU96r6rdMbgkDf46JXPcQtdTFKCYBXreFR5BZIiellcmt7I-71ja-u6-CIUeVrrpcEz4_FjYHwLn94WtdrTjiktGsl/s1600/dave-toschi.jpg" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">He, my friends, is a walking, talking, breathing action figure. He's basically Batman without the cape, the cowl, and the gadgets; just the suspenders, a crisp shirt, and a gun holstered in his right. If you're an outlaw, you never want to cross roads with this guy, any time of your day. </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://blog.sfgate.com/djennings/2009/10/07/40-years-of-zodiac-the-cold-case-that-haunts-dave-toschi/">Dave Toschi </a> was </span><span style="font-size: small;">former inspector in the San Francisco Police Department, who served there from 1952 to 1983, and probably a string of afraid and crying, if not crippled, criminals on his trail. But he was more famous for his role as a chief investigator to hunt down the murderous and enigmatic killer known as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zodiac_Killer">Zodiac</a></span>, who menaced through Northern California back in 1970's. He did this while sending clues to the cops, just to keep everything insane.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRVfG2pBO1VdGZBC6NbfCOCjwxxxJShReYcqG37T7AvbVuYx1HAKBezktzoEHVsFovnQJDgexlFV0OyH7vELFerVfzI93CC_c-9Iws1S6GaxpxEglpuh6Xbo8S5dZcL_WPWe0WPTELwuuU/s1600/340cipher.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRVfG2pBO1VdGZBC6NbfCOCjwxxxJShReYcqG37T7AvbVuYx1HAKBezktzoEHVsFovnQJDgexlFV0OyH7vELFerVfzI93CC_c-9Iws1S6GaxpxEglpuh6Xbo8S5dZcL_WPWe0WPTELwuuU/s320/340cipher.gif" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Zodiac's word-hunt really pissed-off the cops.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">And why did</span><span style="font-size: small;"> Toschi decided to hunt down a murderer that constantly taunts and humiliates cops by his puzzling killing? Because he has balls the size of Antarctica. He was so badass, it was him that inspired the creation of one of the baddest characters that ever grazed the movie screen.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTnYcIZ_xg8AMq3DSJhkewQYrDfWKqWUXUdNlc0yy7q7cJog7Mz2qlBB_aMTpaiqykl_B04yC9mCF33wPNM_Bq0SPco_qx_FBQsr3mWiffDMFryQ7z-hQqpEL1v6SpbhlMNsl2GPjA6x7/s1600/dirtyharry070210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTnYcIZ_xg8AMq3DSJhkewQYrDfWKqWUXUdNlc0yy7q7cJog7Mz2qlBB_aMTpaiqykl_B04yC9mCF33wPNM_Bq0SPco_qx_FBQsr3mWiffDMFryQ7z-hQqpEL1v6SpbhlMNsl2GPjA6x7/s320/dirtyharry070210.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Callahan_%28character%29">Harry Callahan</a>, the character that brought Clint Eastwood to fameville. Like Toschi, he is an inspector of </span><span style="font-size: small;">San Francisco Police Department, and like Toschi, he track down a murderous and enigmatic killer known as Scorpio, who is based on the Zodiac killer himself. But Dirty Harry isn't the first on screen adaptation of Toschi . </span> <span style="font-size: small;">But long before he became known for hunting down Zodiac, his </span><span style="font-size: small;">personality was already brought to the silver screen for the first time.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinHRNh1EDuFtfmEr7JbFYvOuKyLZOcSb_nEQ23g7BN9vznGnQzWzqYXc5rjI_DT-Wk8QE8HtfuOfTpCj65LHo9G4I-dAj_6hDEYvC_y7Gw9zOWpG6x76xeV9HJQQTVlP8oV_2Ir6h48DNL/s1600/steve-mcqueen-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinHRNh1EDuFtfmEr7JbFYvOuKyLZOcSb_nEQ23g7BN9vznGnQzWzqYXc5rjI_DT-Wk8QE8HtfuOfTpCj65LHo9G4I-dAj_6hDEYvC_y7Gw9zOWpG6x76xeV9HJQQTVlP8oV_2Ir6h48DNL/s320/steve-mcqueen-4.jpg" width="256" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">You might be too young to remember <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullitt">Frank Bullitt</a>, played by Steve McQueen, but hell, long before badassery became mainstream on movies, this gun-totting cop started the shoot-the-bad-guy-in-the-face staple of every action movie.</span> <span style="font-size: small;">And for the third time, Toschi will again see a movie adaptation of himself, in the film <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443706/">Zodiac</a>, this time as himself, and played by Mark Ruffalo.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht_zeJebW-OaD0M5GtKDYWz12elt5RIH5fK9onI3C1x6LWw4YrVmJd3BH9lz1RVhhsp7BADXw9CTRt4ouudWDoVnoIXOgsjagK4VZpGxH_YPRa4DI-BPfjRDxrUusdUyePKJBSBuLnlkUw/s1600/ruffalo_zodiac.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht_zeJebW-OaD0M5GtKDYWz12elt5RIH5fK9onI3C1x6LWw4YrVmJd3BH9lz1RVhhsp7BADXw9CTRt4ouudWDoVnoIXOgsjagK4VZpGxH_YPRa4DI-BPfjRDxrUusdUyePKJBSBuLnlkUw/s320/ruffalo_zodiac.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">That's three goddamn portrayals of Dave Toschi, in three different movies, played by three different kickass actors. He's practically just one portrayal away from Batman. Only awesome guys like Toschi is given that kind of homage.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw09QipyXd9vXhxQZbGGKi3sS_meczeywp6CUBTv0fEKHYUNB1aAKEIPfmVLwl9vkCNlP70Zjlox31_rKarKihhoyr9a1si25727ChGXaZfq9tizX7X88MYeeXmucuWhJqkJ_wXu52HBWw/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="324" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw09QipyXd9vXhxQZbGGKi3sS_meczeywp6CUBTv0fEKHYUNB1aAKEIPfmVLwl9vkCNlP70Zjlox31_rKarKihhoyr9a1si25727ChGXaZfq9tizX7X88MYeeXmucuWhJqkJ_wXu52HBWw/s640/6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2> </h2> <span style="font-size: small;">For someone who'll be jumping off rooftops, avoiding bullets, and studying ballistic and forensic samples from the crime-scene, you should know how physics work. Because Batman goddamn does.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgz8Bhp3ey9xNOullU15HiQOiLvnvro7NZZuxCCituZVa1-EUK0QVXHdLVC1JK7Qy0z9v2AQxTrob-AGHx7VQwNb1m7niTXHkODBGwkohgRijnJCOzV-ZuelxW2iRIfcd92a0KDEZF9Ofb/s1600/batmanclown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgz8Bhp3ey9xNOullU15HiQOiLvnvro7NZZuxCCituZVa1-EUK0QVXHdLVC1JK7Qy0z9v2AQxTrob-AGHx7VQwNb1m7niTXHkODBGwkohgRijnJCOzV-ZuelxW2iRIfcd92a0KDEZF9Ofb/s400/batmanclown.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Crash course on gravity? No problem!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">And he should be. Every time he's drifting his Bat Mobile, he's using physics. On those moments he's using a Batarang to take down say, twenty guys at once, </span><span style="font-size: small;">he's using physics. And every time some megalomaniac like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Freeze">Mr. Freeze</a> or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainiac_%28comics%29">Brainiac</a></span> hatches some apocalyptic plan involving Quantum mechanics theory or Time-Space Warp Continuum, Batman always take them down. Why? Because he damn knows Physics, and he's an expert on them.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeBhmMx8bEGR3gdKwiN8JdDvhp3IS6in7Q5pU9Lj6DLU_QW9gk1AsKb3wjrCPVi3go_SWHwo5HuCD1C9Gwn1dkA9La_4IDN0_58-6V7QArdmDeodo6FQDcDs-tUc3z3waxoH-MlU87MHrm/s1600/teamwork1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeBhmMx8bEGR3gdKwiN8JdDvhp3IS6in7Q5pU9Lj6DLU_QW9gk1AsKb3wjrCPVi3go_SWHwo5HuCD1C9Gwn1dkA9La_4IDN0_58-6V7QArdmDeodo6FQDcDs-tUc3z3waxoH-MlU87MHrm/s320/teamwork1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In this scene Batman knows which guy will stop the bullet.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guy!</span>
<h2> </h2> <span style="font-size: small;"><b>Stephen Hawking</b></span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1fezLIq9DQ2HXz-lDH6HxPeZM0Etk5QJXSi0D2KtYB5m-f0yWuN7OGJiGal-Al0e6gl6qQ26Chqmd7Pg7Fap04jTiQxJWB8H-LxG1mtXy6wrDrAvDWEE4RR0heKVpfUnjzCKyo86X1iY/s1600/stephen-hawking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1fezLIq9DQ2HXz-lDH6HxPeZM0Etk5QJXSi0D2KtYB5m-f0yWuN7OGJiGal-Al0e6gl6qQ26Chqmd7Pg7Fap04jTiQxJWB8H-LxG1mtXy6wrDrAvDWEE4RR0heKVpfUnjzCKyo86X1iY/s320/stephen-hawking.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Theoretical physicist and cosmologist <a href="http://www.hawking.org.uk/">Stephen Hawking</a>, despite being wheelchair-bound and succumbed to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amyotrophic_lateral_sclerosis">Lou Gehrig's disease</a>, had accomplished </span><span style="font-size: small;">more</span><span style="font-size: small;"> academic and honorary achievements than you can ever will in twenty lifetimes. </span> He was the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge for thirty years. A position being held by people of sky-scraping IQ scores, including the Father Of Fucking Everything About Gravity, Sir Isaac Newton. Hawking stepped down last October 2009, leaving a trail of achievements and discoveries that will take an entirely different article just to list down all of them.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcG5VlasTlEeSY-qrW8XSZ-oIuk4PPBKghygNiUl-xrxCnG0dwswxHORqtcDzeOZhG4sf6liBFXZ5S8MFkD2QVqJI4Pn3N1v5aa7DbkfB5s1nmUQaGNsKOQESAYfwPGYpCZ2mH_g5np1jC/s1600/220px-Stephen_Hawking_Simpsons.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcG5VlasTlEeSY-qrW8XSZ-oIuk4PPBKghygNiUl-xrxCnG0dwswxHORqtcDzeOZhG4sf6liBFXZ5S8MFkD2QVqJI4Pn3N1v5aa7DbkfB5s1nmUQaGNsKOQESAYfwPGYpCZ2mH_g5np1jC/s1600/220px-Stephen_Hawking_Simpsons.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="554" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcG5VlasTlEeSY-qrW8XSZ-oIuk4PPBKghygNiUl-xrxCnG0dwswxHORqtcDzeOZhG4sf6liBFXZ5S8MFkD2QVqJI4Pn3N1v5aa7DbkfB5s1nmUQaGNsKOQESAYfwPGYpCZ2mH_g5np1jC/s640/220px-Stephen_Hawking_Simpsons.png" width="640" /></a></div><h2> </h2>Basically, his brain can kick your brain's ass any day. Twenty tears ago, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Bang">Big Bang Theory</a> is a concept comprehended only by scientist, scholars, and hardcore mathematicians, and left the rest of the world confounded in the dark. Until Stephen Hawking published his book, A Brief History of Time, the book that made him a pop culture icon, and explained this complex concept understandable to people to common people. Yep, Big Bang Theory of the Creation of The Universe became a household name because of him.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaFlTxHeOIhphATr2dvRAT2BN0EMe4h4yOArnRKV_0zYq-PVXWRnYKVhCtL3D6E5mfRzZY2mAOHB-H1cb_ArR0RUW_rj2XpBeXCzCaYTFf1nT09YD80UPOeGT1bWGlDh5s0CTIW-WK53_I/s1600/The-Big-Bang-Theory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaFlTxHeOIhphATr2dvRAT2BN0EMe4h4yOArnRKV_0zYq-PVXWRnYKVhCtL3D6E5mfRzZY2mAOHB-H1cb_ArR0RUW_rj2XpBeXCzCaYTFf1nT09YD80UPOeGT1bWGlDh5s0CTIW-WK53_I/s320/The-Big-Bang-Theory.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Most scientific theories never make it to TV this big.<span style="font-size: small;"></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Practically, he's the Pope John Paul II of </span><span style="font-size: small;">Theoretical Physics, making these things accessible to average minds. </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRDg1n_RYlTeOa6YkfMWrSm3ziBDmY67zmT0OaFToJMdBlXSc-E01_H6t4ADKYJGvON39n2SbyU6WybDCHiI3zYdsf7FO_IAtSu2HqmfidG8zGm4RWdyhE2HicL5Swpcj4IlC4Z1NPxGMr/s1600/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRDg1n_RYlTeOa6YkfMWrSm3ziBDmY67zmT0OaFToJMdBlXSc-E01_H6t4ADKYJGvON39n2SbyU6WybDCHiI3zYdsf7FO_IAtSu2HqmfidG8zGm4RWdyhE2HicL5Swpcj4IlC4Z1NPxGMr/s640/7.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2> </h2><span style="font-size: small;">Anyone who had seen Batman's computer would have salivated, imagining how awesome World Of Warcraft would look like on that refrigerators-sized desktop. </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIljM0_albSNsI1Y_9kOWN9puMLA9tsLUz2kuVruYAsi2KZbctHMcJcOv7JFAp0HW3ybuBI3dTDiFbkRYbm34XtJvdrpodfcQ8NZ5knuhYUO41LMwjJHOSZmvUpPiyVUfqzgj7NzDqWm7l/s1600/batcave-dark-knight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIljM0_albSNsI1Y_9kOWN9puMLA9tsLUz2kuVruYAsi2KZbctHMcJcOv7JFAp0HW3ybuBI3dTDiFbkRYbm34XtJvdrpodfcQ8NZ5knuhYUO41LMwjJHOSZmvUpPiyVUfqzgj7NzDqWm7l/s400/batcave-dark-knight.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: Every computer gamer's wet dream.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">Batman, aside from frightening criminals, is your neighborhood computer alpha-geek. his computer has access to FBI records, criminal databases, and probably </span><span style="font-size: small;">information of </span><span style="font-size: small;">every person in Gotham. </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPzyfOusBh255Au4XaJTIW4HZ9z94gbS_G7Mxwfs-C2xr9N6mdcdbzVfSzB9KRcv3nXCczQ9X4FR7EU_o9F15VCveMi0XFpM5d4Hg0Q5iSMZ0TusVFjrTNVgykrGjFrQ1D7X3jmWD_t2h/s1600/batcomp1.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPzyfOusBh255Au4XaJTIW4HZ9z94gbS_G7Mxwfs-C2xr9N6mdcdbzVfSzB9KRcv3nXCczQ9X4FR7EU_o9F15VCveMi0XFpM5d4Hg0Q5iSMZ0TusVFjrTNVgykrGjFrQ1D7X3jmWD_t2h/s320/batcomp1.1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And a Facebook junkie.<span style="font-size: small;"></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">He's a top notch programmer, an expert hacker, and a computer engineer, </span><span style="font-size: small;">cracking the databases of Gotham's cyber underbelly, especially if you're battling a villain named The Calculator, who's basically wired to almost any virtual information available.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGnKGRHMfifrhbVXlRwbA5p0npBXd5prMA2r6KWnss7zgUwpevCxfX7IjJkmSGlNf30ehR9rhcgkg9KNP4YKzBRtrG5AnXbfLSgBIilA2By0y9vjTLFQ2ylbu260DPTjAPJYvPRf9cDy2Z/s1600/nav_logo27.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGnKGRHMfifrhbVXlRwbA5p0npBXd5prMA2r6KWnss7zgUwpevCxfX7IjJkmSGlNf30ehR9rhcgkg9KNP4YKzBRtrG5AnXbfLSgBIilA2By0y9vjTLFQ2ylbu260DPTjAPJYvPRf9cDy2Z/s320/nav_logo27.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Porn is as easy as pie.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guy!</span> <span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></h2><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Kevin Mitnick</b></span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicWJUcqnE1lpKtrlA5vWNeGi-PZtdkxsdbJL-pxqko8SxOQ5HrNr6a-TcotgzdHpeIA3376uV_Bjwp6h-h3j0fz1GYbqdiBJ2V4zPZC7ZsuoATc9QE7OJ9zRappuDiLAZW9uMz1whc0My8/s1600/kevinmitnick.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicWJUcqnE1lpKtrlA5vWNeGi-PZtdkxsdbJL-pxqko8SxOQ5HrNr6a-TcotgzdHpeIA3376uV_Bjwp6h-h3j0fz1GYbqdiBJ2V4zPZC7ZsuoATc9QE7OJ9zRappuDiLAZW9uMz1whc0My8/s1600/kevinmitnick.png" /></a></div><h2> </h2>Though how awesome he might seem to be, <span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.takedown.com/bio/mitnick.html">Kevin Mitnick </a>was not on the right side of the law, at least not previously. He was the most-wanted computer criminal in the United States, and will probably put to shame every guy who calls himself "expert computer hacker". </span> <span style="font-size: small;">Before he was finally arrested last February 15, 1995, he gained unauthorized access to dozens of computer networks while he was a fugitive, used cloned cellular phones to hide his location, copied valuable proprietary software, intercepted and stole computer passwords, altered computer networks, and broke into and read private e-mails.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAu378I9WKvX0ImT-NbqwF3BGGiJQlo4zDQKYa_yzV51fLE8mWy1bJzIoyuxM4ui_yH15wmAnH8IgfNKbUYA6Byh-lhyphenhyphenmD7Xb8NIhvkaKSuBxhvO5b4lOpuVEyMSWq81843WnT7H1HdkZN/s1600/kevin-mitnick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAu378I9WKvX0ImT-NbqwF3BGGiJQlo4zDQKYa_yzV51fLE8mWy1bJzIoyuxM4ui_yH15wmAnH8IgfNKbUYA6Byh-lhyphenhyphenmD7Xb8NIhvkaKSuBxhvO5b4lOpuVEyMSWq81843WnT7H1HdkZN/s320/kevin-mitnick.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mitnick talking about how illegally awesome he is. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: small;">And as if those weren't a kick to the police's </span><span style="font-size: small;">poetic </span><span style="font-size: small;">balls enough, Mitnick also hacked Motorola, Nokia, Sun Microsystems, Fujitsu Siemens, and Pacific Bell systems. He also hacked and evaded the FBI, and damn, the Pentagon itself, pretty much like what that <a href="http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Frenzy_%28Movie%29">little robot</a> in the first Transformer movie did.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiup1jPTZVtD0x6fpfDstEyP_J5YuKx6yyzcL60EqxeW-qwKYhmhs5qzS01b8YSs9JaZ2PLN-G6c4FBQ0ikykC8LI9y1qDqcsNmHQKQEGwvkCyYYskfbogPYzG7xNmTWn5j9lZpypwUgUrZ/s1600/1274357257_dfde464a23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiup1jPTZVtD0x6fpfDstEyP_J5YuKx6yyzcL60EqxeW-qwKYhmhs5qzS01b8YSs9JaZ2PLN-G6c4FBQ0ikykC8LI9y1qDqcsNmHQKQEGwvkCyYYskfbogPYzG7xNmTWn5j9lZpypwUgUrZ/s320/1274357257_dfde464a23.jpg" width="287" /></a></div><span style="font-size: small;">Basically, enforcement <a href="http://news.cnet.com/8301-1009_3-9995253-83.html">officials were convinced</a> that he had the ability to "start a nuclear war by whistling into a pay phone". </span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> <span style="font-size: small;">Right now, he is computer security consultant and an author of various books. But sorry guys, he isnt' writing how he did all those things. Be contented with your Facebook stalking.</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipH660P6tpWnlZsLcnYOCLsD0hF2bRPSch4mg2X6wkkhyIHgtRj65VpWxJSNYMz6_WSQMLJus2BsNJcfAg-yau7mhb13HykCKNb5jkeOJeDxF2Qw6GLLvjaqq6OywMPcKs06y1Ui7DZ0Fm/s1600/8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="438" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipH660P6tpWnlZsLcnYOCLsD0hF2bRPSch4mg2X6wkkhyIHgtRj65VpWxJSNYMz6_WSQMLJus2BsNJcfAg-yau7mhb13HykCKNb5jkeOJeDxF2Qw6GLLvjaqq6OywMPcKs06y1Ui7DZ0Fm/s640/8.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2> </h2>The crime scene is a 360-degree workplace. You have the floor, the wall, and the roof. And you need to pay attention to every detail possible; blood stains, broken furnitures, points of entry, shrapnels, and ballistics. And you never see Batman lumbering around carrying Batnotes and Batpencils, that means neither should you. <i>You need to remember every fucking detail yourself.</i>
<h2><i> </i> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMO-u5NLQGgtOffG_bXzw18rvUKubZMvMlvazDPyUQqSxHXnUp9Wu77EQNBqmtop10NkeKG7DgU6TY8oSLHFmLRJmmCLf3Gou-lx1abi-5nhKjQex8r4Fwq5d51RWnlKLZEu2B0aO862Q/s1600/crimescene.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMO-u5NLQGgtOffG_bXzw18rvUKubZMvMlvazDPyUQqSxHXnUp9Wu77EQNBqmtop10NkeKG7DgU6TY8oSLHFmLRJmmCLf3Gou-lx1abi-5nhKjQex8r4Fwq5d51RWnlKLZEu2B0aO862Q/s320/crimescene.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h2> </h2>Batman's memory is exceptional. He basically remembers everything. Crime scenes, people, modus operandi's, evidences, trivial information, and little details. So, if one time he saw your face for a goddamn split second in a wanted poster accused of some cold-blooded crime, and five years later he saw you trying to run again...
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3juqhTCLSjRwPc1FdeYmsLCxpgPbzc2BSl9liGeRL_a_KF4WawWTA3aC-kjCo3s9BRkIe3WqGxQThZvNsM7tyLKdLr9_-emPPwWq1bfs9gmjx3SPLwGS9Ck9owhOzFyaX17e_HeAa0EpM/s1600/batmankick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3juqhTCLSjRwPc1FdeYmsLCxpgPbzc2BSl9liGeRL_a_KF4WawWTA3aC-kjCo3s9BRkIe3WqGxQThZvNsM7tyLKdLr9_-emPPwWq1bfs9gmjx3SPLwGS9Ck9owhOzFyaX17e_HeAa0EpM/s320/batmankick.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...this happens.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guy!</span>
<h2><b> </b></h2><b>Kim Peek</b>
<h2><b> </b> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDrMxxkcU94coYfMc2jeimourRRVOkg_I8f0w2T5oPBP0vq0Z77eMzgUCRdGI365ZKISs_TopU0GgdkeHu1yYUtBh5cXS2lqrx16QvAROTxPcQHd1FdGZB1o9jwpSQ9EVrLb_YJ4_IWst/s1600/kim_peek.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDrMxxkcU94coYfMc2jeimourRRVOkg_I8f0w2T5oPBP0vq0Z77eMzgUCRdGI365ZKISs_TopU0GgdkeHu1yYUtBh5cXS2lqrx16QvAROTxPcQHd1FdGZB1o9jwpSQ9EVrLb_YJ4_IWst/s320/kim_peek.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h2> </h2>There are people who can remember a lot of things they see or hear, and there are people who can insanely remember <i>every</i> fucking thing they see or hear, down to the minute details. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Peek">Kim Peek</a> is one of them. He possesses extreme eidetic memory due to congenital brain abnormalities. He can finish a book <i>in an hour</i>, and remember almost everything he read. His memory is so awesome, he can read two pages at a time—the left with his left eye and the right with his right—at a rate of about 8–10 seconds per page. He can memorize vast amounts of information in subjects ranging from history and literature, geography, and numbers to sports, music, and dates. It is believed he could recall the content of at least 12,000 books from memory.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju0-sOhVSQGc6h4wPpGz9I9A_4g7DxQxi8Em-pfm1Lno0522WYATnBoNF9qoE4n-aN543hKavuHOUdJ9XV-JQ929V8oR1xFe3K5I759SN-M5WKJ3UxmBgoAaqmb9_3EalPFB9FJvt8W134/s1600/hard+drive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju0-sOhVSQGc6h4wPpGz9I9A_4g7DxQxi8Em-pfm1Lno0522WYATnBoNF9qoE4n-aN543hKavuHOUdJ9XV-JQ929V8oR1xFe3K5I759SN-M5WKJ3UxmBgoAaqmb9_3EalPFB9FJvt8W134/s320/hard+drive.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">His brain can kick your hard drive's ass any day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>And yes, he is the inspiration for Dustin Hoffman's character, Raymond Babbitt, in the movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095953/">Rain Man</a>. He's that badass.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/8C_5q2IOlL8/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8C_5q2IOlL8&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8C_5q2IOlL8&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><h2> </h2>Unfortunately, Peek died of a heart attack last December 19, 2009, leaving a legacy of awesome moments, and will forever stay in our goddamned limited memories.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj886MBMH6lOmYESTNeaz-DO4VfuKs0shdnV2I1H3Y1mJLm779HWQbC1qKV3Ku7Vlsnq0UcvM_V7uFJeTeaNRK80TIU7BQ3WZBNzW7suxeOtgbfsLA9ZyTd7o5SKgaJmaAsQVzYoAzS81o5/s1600/9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="378" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj886MBMH6lOmYESTNeaz-DO4VfuKs0shdnV2I1H3Y1mJLm779HWQbC1qKV3Ku7Vlsnq0UcvM_V7uFJeTeaNRK80TIU7BQ3WZBNzW7suxeOtgbfsLA9ZyTd7o5SKgaJmaAsQVzYoAzS81o5/s640/9.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/445kBfBFcSU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guy!</span>
<h2> </h2> <span style="font-size: small;"><b>Richard Sorge</b></span>
<h2><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqihh-mwIeOTMVJccyATffJ0SnzmFibOBuOu-XGqO-AkPk_2r1wrbI3egsRVTBMnUoxwIm-GecsBJtVY4z2pnYW9jgc5Uc2Iwb5bp6YKXO_PCgBa04czNrZBS8r0sD1rAtH6SuTXpL7w2D/s1600/Richard+Sorge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqihh-mwIeOTMVJccyATffJ0SnzmFibOBuOu-XGqO-AkPk_2r1wrbI3egsRVTBMnUoxwIm-GecsBJtVY4z2pnYW9jgc5Uc2Iwb5bp6YKXO_PCgBa04czNrZBS8r0sD1rAtH6SuTXpL7w2D/s320/Richard+Sorge.jpg" width="208" /></a></div><span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2> </h2>Hell, James Bond could almost have a spot here, but aside form the fact that he's fictional, he'll also look like a pussy in front of Richard Sorge. Sorged worked as a spy for the Soviet Union during World War II, supplying them information of every secret operation that Japan and Germany was hiding in their sleeves.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4FcML6tqQHlg2GD1f0_gm_P2zI-cUz95DNmEMGjFrKhxLOTmBFOOLr1Ww3CcjgBzImvfcllJCSAdcIy3-CAsYC5qnpuW-v3ZksPQ42d9szfW4W1dAXkqKqXvqMGN9TFtfQvFkdkzh3L4j/s1600/maid8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4FcML6tqQHlg2GD1f0_gm_P2zI-cUz95DNmEMGjFrKhxLOTmBFOOLr1Ww3CcjgBzImvfcllJCSAdcIy3-CAsYC5qnpuW-v3ZksPQ42d9szfW4W1dAXkqKqXvqMGN9TFtfQvFkdkzh3L4j/s320/maid8.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Japan's planning to wreck Pearl Harbor, but hey, let's talk about their cosplays first."</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal"><h2> </h2>Sorge uncovered the Anti-Comintern Pact, secret agreement between Japan and Germany to counter rising communist groups, and is also the forerunner of the Axis Powers. He also warned about the Japan's plan to onslaught to Pearl Harbor, which obviously was ignored. And predicted the launch date of Operation Barbarossa, Germany's plan to wreck havoc on Russia's land.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-o3RdwVzcEw4FbOxSjIOLThrEvac7b_TdoANrVG4iB2SFxphIatz1afRFNRgPEG9If73bYeuRUO8WeBAMGJkh-v-RSQB-z10TkwVxxG0kcsQU_P8M0y-7jwR3VXKSd_WeNnCFuTXX4E-n/s1600/ninja2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-o3RdwVzcEw4FbOxSjIOLThrEvac7b_TdoANrVG4iB2SFxphIatz1afRFNRgPEG9If73bYeuRUO8WeBAMGJkh-v-RSQB-z10TkwVxxG0kcsQU_P8M0y-7jwR3VXKSd_WeNnCFuTXX4E-n/s320/ninja2.jpg" width="319" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Richard Sorge during one of his spying gig.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>But because Stalin was either 1) partially a dick, or 2) a complete dick, he would not believe Sorge. So USSR ended up losing millions of lives due to the clusterfuck of military invasions from Germany.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_IuMf09usVkZBcilc5XfsS29IpIpTfa6lrid8IltFMwHy2stHvodLSSFCxGXx1WDgyGOa58IBZZC3vo6jxcfxlewRnuSVX-DaSvTsTjvaIE1H9pkhXem-mThDax9Mgj2d25AxcOJmoYV/s1600/bundesarchiv_bild_183-1985-1003-020_richard_sorge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_IuMf09usVkZBcilc5XfsS29IpIpTfa6lrid8IltFMwHy2stHvodLSSFCxGXx1WDgyGOa58IBZZC3vo6jxcfxlewRnuSVX-DaSvTsTjvaIE1H9pkhXem-mThDax9Mgj2d25AxcOJmoYV/s320/bundesarchiv_bild_183-1985-1003-020_richard_sorge.jpg" width="217" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In Russian, Sorge means "trust me, or get fucked up"<br />
<h2> </h2></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKgF27HJozxktDJ1wdHAjXvDzw7uVhSjTYkWUEXlRrW6GVIZuUGTh1L2FgctAMrZw0avZD3JE9mBAZgVfmJTUtj1c7bRs3IH656ffqcCkuHWCZ22EhyNEtjSPdnh3kV7qPFhDH8QoJZK6/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKgF27HJozxktDJ1wdHAjXvDzw7uVhSjTYkWUEXlRrW6GVIZuUGTh1L2FgctAMrZw0avZD3JE9mBAZgVfmJTUtj1c7bRs3IH656ffqcCkuHWCZ22EhyNEtjSPdnh3kV7qPFhDH8QoJZK6/s640/10.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2> </h2> Anyone trying to hold Batman hostage for good is like raising a middle finger to Steven Seagal's face and getting away unharmed. It's just scientifically implausible. And if ever someone successfully did, Batman will always escape, at the moment he wants, in the method he wants. Fuck, it never even probably happened at all.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0G4SLJbsRfDM00EinJ_fiYNkLFVTjqWd2scgCwG1j4O76uzj3Lu8Y-QKQuACGUsSyqZgmt0YBivAue1tJEPn0GuLkaGxD_amb3HjsicmaW5slpU5k9Mfy2qfc00DtIbZA6HlYh9Lb95Im/s1600/hostage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0G4SLJbsRfDM00EinJ_fiYNkLFVTjqWd2scgCwG1j4O76uzj3Lu8Y-QKQuACGUsSyqZgmt0YBivAue1tJEPn0GuLkaGxD_amb3HjsicmaW5slpU5k9Mfy2qfc00DtIbZA6HlYh9Lb95Im/s320/hostage.jpg" width="287" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Google search image for "Batman helplessly captured"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>Batman is an efficient escape artist, he may not have Superman's strength to break metal chains as if they're interconnected gummy worms , but Batman has an arsenal of techniques, not to mention gadgets, to fucking free himself.
<h2> </h2> <span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guy!</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> <b>Harry Houdini</b>
<h2><b> </b> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQMok_xXPK8yUX6BehcJ-sIupIg4k6zVw-sCCm59upZUJx2uoalxaDKDDcy5RgpUTgj1awFd057DGHmFsmZA2kC1lh3YXpdOkaYE05msl3sejSrYYvz7gH9DtoCaFfXgBKtTXwafA1uqll/s1600/402px-Houdini_in_Handcuffs%252C_1918.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQMok_xXPK8yUX6BehcJ-sIupIg4k6zVw-sCCm59upZUJx2uoalxaDKDDcy5RgpUTgj1awFd057DGHmFsmZA2kC1lh3YXpdOkaYE05msl3sejSrYYvz7gH9DtoCaFfXgBKtTXwafA1uqll/s400/402px-Houdini_in_Handcuffs%252C_1918.JPG" width="267" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv2Mw7m80GuthwDdhUOFKDDk-NGIzWp1dBO9XqKlloYpMJJaiWGHFafBHqi3ayjT6B5NWAutg_X4DIrnFUXX_uRa8P63ZdEk48kcT0sJ4uwfUCUdWzXBjRYJ79AnKz28psU7A6EmwgmGT7/s1600/aa_houdini_subj_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div><h2> </h2>I've scourged the web and comic archives linking Bruce Wayne to this guy but completely failed. Born as Erik Weisz, Houdini is a Jewish <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escapologist">escapologist</a> (yes, they do have a word for people whose job is to escape almost everything) of Hungarian descent. This guy would let himself buried alive, get locked-down, or submerged underwater while in chains and wouldn't give a shit about it. He would raise a middle finger to death, and get himself out alive and well faster than most people can untie their shoe laces.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2E0FIox0j_-1luLXYkuqY-G2cGzdFdOwyyAtxo_h3FbVicPR8Wjj-nDDTsqjc9qhCK6A4MpXsQOb4sQzKhAyQgow8IYIRkoCZw_s7bLnkR8w_b31-3RLToomlUe_-t6SFJHtdFG6t_Xe/s1600/harry_houdini+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2E0FIox0j_-1luLXYkuqY-G2cGzdFdOwyyAtxo_h3FbVicPR8Wjj-nDDTsqjc9qhCK6A4MpXsQOb4sQzKhAyQgow8IYIRkoCZw_s7bLnkR8w_b31-3RLToomlUe_-t6SFJHtdFG6t_Xe/s400/harry_houdini+poster.jpg" width="330" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The show ran only for ten minutes, seven of which is for credits, so they pulled out the useless idea anyway</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>Throughout the thirty-five years of his career, Houdini performed stunts and escape exhibitions that will give Siegfried & Roy shivers before hugging each other homo-erotically. He would usually free himself from straitjackets while suspended from tall buildings or cranes, or escaping from a wooden crate, nailed and rope-tied, or get himself buried alive and escape just to show Uma Thurman how using kung-fu is a retarded idea. He also performed an escape stunt from the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Water_Torture_Cell">Chinese Water Torture Cell</a>, from which the sound of its name, nothing good will come out.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSCRBPcW-dJ1VP4ehtjjnPQe6UR9LgI5IVU_5eoDHYpjGWHix3TNexX05hXkNi5TUB3ZP2nOsjRJ33_G7bLL1Jzk2CqtyOnh5tOgBw1Nqq-4qCtOMt8xKwwHhzvM3kcLa79JJXnsCl6pBl/s1600/epic-fail-manicure-set-fail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSCRBPcW-dJ1VP4ehtjjnPQe6UR9LgI5IVU_5eoDHYpjGWHix3TNexX05hXkNi5TUB3ZP2nOsjRJ33_G7bLL1Jzk2CqtyOnh5tOgBw1Nqq-4qCtOMt8xKwwHhzvM3kcLa79JJXnsCl6pBl/s320/epic-fail-manicure-set-fail.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Chinese are a terrifying people. Really.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>Not a few a people speculated how Houdini we're able to pull off those death defying tricks. Some believed he was a mystic, and able to contact spirits of sorts. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (the guy who created Sherlock Holmes) theorized that he is using sleights of hand, while some, probably while discussing it over their lunch breaks, believed he's regurgitating the keys, meaning he' swallowing it and the vomiting it along the process.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtEszIGHo8W7ojwklKN-4J6jRkKexwPGgoyGTUWbS_VeFbIrmZtMnBkv3j9REo9PucD415jD9eWDqBpxyNUN6OtsxkDisKwVA3CIpL9uZ-kZz8tlkq2GTWV9Oi7Roaw577bolJOezdwzY3/s1600/houdini_magic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtEszIGHo8W7ojwklKN-4J6jRkKexwPGgoyGTUWbS_VeFbIrmZtMnBkv3j9REo9PucD415jD9eWDqBpxyNUN6OtsxkDisKwVA3CIpL9uZ-kZz8tlkq2GTWV9Oi7Roaw577bolJOezdwzY3/s320/houdini_magic.jpg" width="264" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That must be a lot of puke inside.<br />
<br />
<h2><br />
</h2></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBXmKFm8RfOSvywKFOeg-RrQjn832leDVybSF4NyN1oBBNzh5Q5knJCM3WiAF17JzNny8LitDYNGYr3tiVHq0lDaf54Ck4lfxXC10kOA6qteM5YxsAbRVQaWZtiBu678RY-ZNkH6FYLNDE/s1600/11.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBXmKFm8RfOSvywKFOeg-RrQjn832leDVybSF4NyN1oBBNzh5Q5knJCM3WiAF17JzNny8LitDYNGYr3tiVHq0lDaf54Ck4lfxXC10kOA6qteM5YxsAbRVQaWZtiBu678RY-ZNkH6FYLNDE/s640/11.1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span lang="EN-US">Because Bruce Wayne is one motherfucking filthy rich dude, and you should be, too. He owns a multi-billion dollar corporation, huge-ass mansions, subterranean workshops, private jets, and tank-like sport car</span><span lang="EN-US">s</span><span lang="EN-US">. </span>
<h2><span lang="EN-US"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKjcaAvL1pUF1JPpMBhx8ONUKRkZGm-W2Hm5nBtyZE5I6ca9mcuBdVjpRmLvHAckSICB6G9DiAT7xAEGyzbwPW6CsSNZldQHewm3jzQ0v3me9zPdSg8BdKW2MTMB0jOP4o0UQmYOs6DAAr/s1600/batpod_action_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKjcaAvL1pUF1JPpMBhx8ONUKRkZGm-W2Hm5nBtyZE5I6ca9mcuBdVjpRmLvHAckSICB6G9DiAT7xAEGyzbwPW6CsSNZldQHewm3jzQ0v3me9zPdSg8BdKW2MTMB0jOP4o0UQmYOs6DAAr/s320/batpod_action_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Equipped with motorcycles, or whatever damn thing he wants to squeeze inside.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span lang="EN-US"> </span></h2><span lang="EN-US">According to Forbes Fictional 2011, this dim-witted, self-absorbed billionaire is worth 6.5 billion dollars, that's close to the annual income of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopia">Ethiopia</a>, or NASA's three-year budget plan to <a href="http://pantheism.nursing-resource.com/cost-overruns-and-delays-add-up-to-6-5-billion-for-nasas-next-gen-space-telescope/">launch a fucking satellite into space</a></span><span lang="EN-US">. </span>
<h2><span lang="EN-US"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibjyvch4UovIPn5OHTSNHDnsGAp4gcJ2bWXCW_-yN-NMyKulijgVKeUIiQV2MWbvZFBOxOCgySZIMX0DTYjwtctPAYSG5ygR07O7AKvXVt_8s3qpUxnFyI3H-jL2ssuOwysqhRcCUO9Izb/s1600/the_dark_knight_bruce_wayne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibjyvch4UovIPn5OHTSNHDnsGAp4gcJ2bWXCW_-yN-NMyKulijgVKeUIiQV2MWbvZFBOxOCgySZIMX0DTYjwtctPAYSG5ygR07O7AKvXVt_8s3qpUxnFyI3H-jL2ssuOwysqhRcCUO9Izb/s320/the_dark_knight_bruce_wayne.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US">This tie? This worth a truckload of Ethiopians. Buffaloes, I mean.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span lang="EN-US"> </span></h2><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.forbes.com/2010/04/13/bruce-wayne-bio-opinions-fictional-15-10-batman.html">Forbes Fictional 2010</a> places Wayne on the seventh spot, well above the mythological sprite Tooth Fairy with $3.9 billion worth (yeah, she made that much from stealing children's teeth) and <i>Gilligan's Island </i></span><span lang="EN-US">billionaire</span><span lang="EN-US"> Thurston Howell III with $2.1 billion worth (turns out coconut cellphones and bamboo spacecrafts aren't good ideas after all). But Wayne also falls below (by mere 500 million dollars) fellow DC superhero, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchmen#Characters">Watchmen</a>, who is worth $7.0 billion</span><span lang="EN-US">.</span>
<h2><span lang="EN-US"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibB_zijjhlLBTbXbjyRbEZOflExCx7ko_UHjk1z5CTpWpd9XFDHe6schqELLc8INCsX8DCeUE5AVAKL18eiJu5CibvTFJByeiM_ytwzVxzEb3IJjMByW6irlvXQoDNULqfl0EH7n42o3EY/s1600/3295192948_8147b38b07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibB_zijjhlLBTbXbjyRbEZOflExCx7ko_UHjk1z5CTpWpd9XFDHe6schqELLc8INCsX8DCeUE5AVAKL18eiJu5CibvTFJByeiM_ytwzVxzEb3IJjMByW6irlvXQoDNULqfl0EH7n42o3EY/s320/3295192948_8147b38b07.jpg" width="238" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US">And is also gay. No, <a href="http://splashpage.mtv.com/2008/10/07/matthew-goode-on-ozymandias-sexuality-and-cgi-creatures/">seriously</a>.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guys!</span>
<h2> </h2> <span lang="EN-US"><b>Donald Trump ($2.4 billion)</b></span>
<h2><span lang="EN-US"><b> </b></span> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGJr-8WSEdFSVxLFVTKVtnVoo5edHoN4j8yRMikXRmMUPTo78TNnqavOKexcfTrY75OZj5ZGhHDXRTnyVQ9RlgEVsqCxNoM9WX8JpstyWD99FltoX7CGVJee0UozU0ulKwFTaYClPpUii/s1600/Donald_Trump-r233638.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGJr-8WSEdFSVxLFVTKVtnVoo5edHoN4j8yRMikXRmMUPTo78TNnqavOKexcfTrY75OZj5ZGhHDXRTnyVQ9RlgEVsqCxNoM9WX8JpstyWD99FltoX7CGVJee0UozU0ulKwFTaYClPpUii/s320/Donald_Trump-r233638.jpg" width="257" /></a></div><h2><b><span lang="EN-US"> </span></b></h2><b><span lang="EN-US">Oprah Winfrey </span><span lang="EN-US">($2.7 billion</span><span lang="EN-US">)</span></b>
<h2><b><span lang="EN-US"> </span></b> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGJeRrt8HIZFB84HsSYyMikY83VWgQ2ikOL_tViDwYKXUQB8Me4HfFVfCBlfs-e_ADct2CKr2wIcHBFzNlIJigaeQ6SoAnc2FrnTuh1Cc8eycE_MU7cAi_ElZnipnThKzQxujSzE63Qw1R/s1600/oprah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGJeRrt8HIZFB84HsSYyMikY83VWgQ2ikOL_tViDwYKXUQB8Me4HfFVfCBlfs-e_ADct2CKr2wIcHBFzNlIJigaeQ6SoAnc2FrnTuh1Cc8eycE_MU7cAi_ElZnipnThKzQxujSzE63Qw1R/s1600/oprah.jpg" /></a></div><h2><span lang="EN-US"><b> </b></span></h2><span lang="EN-US"><b>and Steve Case ($1.1 billion)</b></span>
<h3><span lang="EN-US"><b> </b></span> </h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi79t5R5C3IBNOE6V7JqJaOCpjWWCAaKB54_dVTeA7VmEwTz0emztH876tHVjUpaVWbwan2fK2hc_fE3-pmatbcE3gT_V2Xsz5JttBqunQ21C1aEdQ1lY8H5pJV58VY-SVBZo02S2rzvmY_/s1600/Steve+Case.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi79t5R5C3IBNOE6V7JqJaOCpjWWCAaKB54_dVTeA7VmEwTz0emztH876tHVjUpaVWbwan2fK2hc_fE3-pmatbcE3gT_V2Xsz5JttBqunQ21C1aEdQ1lY8H5pJV58VY-SVBZo02S2rzvmY_/s1600/Steve+Case.jpg" /></a></div><h2><span lang="EN-US"><b> </b></span></h2><span lang="EN-US"><b>...all combined. </b></span> <span lang="EN-US"> </span>
<h2><span lang="EN-US"> </span></h2><span lang="EN-US">Yes. Wayne's that fucking monied. I need to cram three rich dicks to cover him.</span> Real estate mogul and possible 2012 US President/Anti-christ candidate <span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump">Donald Trump</a>, despite his constant berating to middle-class guys in his TV show <i>The Apprentice</i></span><span lang="EN-US">, is worth only $2.4 billion. He owns a number of hotels, casinos, resorts, golf courses, buildings, and business centers that might take an entire lifetime just to give thought to each one of them. He started his early career in his fathers company and had grown rich by selling his soul to a demon named Boy George<span style="font-size: x-small;">[citation needed].</span></span>
<h2><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWEANui7-YTy3QUyVJhAefTymuQF2xmLQjPWRpSTG_IAjOF3EzbpW4gwB7m3p7Z72_IbzmjPi3Erg5fW-eWBYEcD5YTvDO1HKFQmwcl6urBdRpEnJB0JPj7oFLlKeofWDiuRweKxV9qZQo/s1600/trumnp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWEANui7-YTy3QUyVJhAefTymuQF2xmLQjPWRpSTG_IAjOF3EzbpW4gwB7m3p7Z72_IbzmjPi3Erg5fW-eWBYEcD5YTvDO1HKFQmwcl6urBdRpEnJB0JPj7oFLlKeofWDiuRweKxV9qZQo/s320/trumnp.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Money can't buy happiness, but at least you can get six hookers for the day. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>On the other hand, African-American television host, actress, producer, and philanthropist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oprah_Winfrey">Oprah Winfrey</a> is worth a bit higher, a whopping $2.7 billion. We have known her to give out <a href="http://money.cnn.com/2010/11/22/autos/oprah_winfrey_vw_beetle/index.htm">275 Volkswagen New Beetles</a> to her audience, which is equivalent to you shedding out a handful of your pocket lint. She is that fucking rich.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSO5Gska4AVJWGypTPCIhcx-973T9KS30xuOb4bIc2rdSG1sILokvwIrxiVmiyqmH9mYqaGnIyZ2W06u3qELQwVHJG-nTHD1BcYnv_IuDhNRARYc9XGVcCNUUyZ7kv2d23MGH5oCK6itYr/s1600/2012+Volkswagen+Beetle%2521%2521%2521%2521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSO5Gska4AVJWGypTPCIhcx-973T9KS30xuOb4bIc2rdSG1sILokvwIrxiVmiyqmH9mYqaGnIyZ2W06u3qELQwVHJG-nTHD1BcYnv_IuDhNRARYc9XGVcCNUUyZ7kv2d23MGH5oCK6itYr/s320/2012+Volkswagen+Beetle%2521%2521%2521%2521.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That can't be the 2011 Edition.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>And just like every guy named Steve, co-founder, former chief executive officer, and chairman of America Online <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Case">Steve Case</a> just couldn't stand being loafed and poor. He needed to do something to be deep-pocketed and become a pioneering leader in the Internet industry. And with that he came up with a decent $1.1 billion. Not bad.
<h2> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDW7LwHAbmlbqUpjolCYFZaEbWwSssifipd8abnySS42YDmV6It1lRYrIegZu583jt4gJQ9JBrpTuLWLrmiO7hWXejheY858NWWFF0bFwZXQdnRqd5m15W9S8DpF-bSnvFONlDWzLU2PH6/s1600/google-microsoft-yahoo-aol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDW7LwHAbmlbqUpjolCYFZaEbWwSssifipd8abnySS42YDmV6It1lRYrIegZu583jt4gJQ9JBrpTuLWLrmiO7hWXejheY858NWWFF0bFwZXQdnRqd5m15W9S8DpF-bSnvFONlDWzLU2PH6/s320/google-microsoft-yahoo-aol.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But then again, the Internet is full of pioneering, leading assholes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>OK. Let's assume you're able to cover everything listed here. You've trained yourself physically, buffed up your brain, and acquired assloads of money with you just like the dudes listed above, still, there is one hidden attribute to this guide.
<h2> </h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNQtcAhO2wtyC2UiEExRhRH6WCG_hsZg8dLINxMq1RlHGuxGX_emmDRIrX4B9d8UIrm9kmTm50ZX40jD7099VftSRM2ZgSKCeI3TquhjVHhee0jo3RqXd01CtPoj0COUbrPk_98G-iGLF/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNQtcAhO2wtyC2UiEExRhRH6WCG_hsZg8dLINxMq1RlHGuxGX_emmDRIrX4B9d8UIrm9kmTm50ZX40jD7099VftSRM2ZgSKCeI3TquhjVHhee0jo3RqXd01CtPoj0COUbrPk_98G-iGLF/s640/12.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTcOLy4i0jRg2P18-XMQhemT4Qno9QNK2ydZwz7ZjlNmMj8QRBhDBCEYU5aB1kcQVl2cEStZ9wdwwxvbs6yKGlF_Gw6kGiGb31jGYvLhaCz54HAz0FQ4OF78972cme5Zu4KTxMQFClxgaZ/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div><h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">But, why the hell?</span>
<h2> </h2>This is the "Why You Might Suck On This" is all about. Remember, Batman's trait is categorized into four: Wealth, Physical Prowess, Deductive Abilities, and Obsession. The last trait is accountable for this. It's this moment in his childhood that made young Bruce Wayne swear to get rid of Gotham of these criminals. Fuck, we can never (and wouldn't know how to) tell how it feels to lose your parents while you're not even old enough to understand the concept of "murder" or "orphaned", but then again... <span style="font-size: large;"> </span>
<h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></h2><span style="font-size: large;">Damn, just like this guys!</span>
<h2><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> </h2><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoO4ACUuUm7VxNiUCp9SjLWK2gy_NRK8faGyRpJKv4QeDWeQiglco54W6Dq8qjRyG0hMOnPTqpb8yOQj2V4Vhyphenhypheny2SeMHdl6mHpYETNtQkv-snaEJXho88pEDt54saGJH2NVtcuzyTdeeMn/s1600/iraqi_kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoO4ACUuUm7VxNiUCp9SjLWK2gy_NRK8faGyRpJKv4QeDWeQiglco54W6Dq8qjRyG0hMOnPTqpb8yOQj2V4Vhyphenhypheny2SeMHdl6mHpYETNtQkv-snaEJXho88pEDt54saGJH2NVtcuzyTdeeMn/s320/iraqi_kids.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Ask,</b><br />
<h2><b> </b></h2></td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg26DEv3kZvfLO145__nlTS2RvtuXxiqK80aRXISYVrDo9SmSEw6OEbEvqvor3w_tfhifeApPp9mOzX_s-abCKancdO7OZUueJlL3OCQda49kUW50b3JP3AfmoEbTlbNTRafzOePQnGZfW_/s1600/iraq30k_kids_03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg26DEv3kZvfLO145__nlTS2RvtuXxiqK80aRXISYVrDo9SmSEw6OEbEvqvor3w_tfhifeApPp9mOzX_s-abCKancdO7OZUueJlL3OCQda49kUW50b3JP3AfmoEbTlbNTRafzOePQnGZfW_/s320/iraq30k_kids_03.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>these ... </b><br />
<h2><b> </b></h2><br />
</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqUsDiSgOQWftejeoRhS117tDOe6fvYsJ2VxdnP9OCNd1V7zGm7jKDKME9Sbuuydy52ZwFBRZDMkhTVu23plfmS7-3iCGVQGzpQHJMEFF57p5y6OFIJfXl-j1o2rFxp-Ar4GtabZnRCzlw/s1600/iraq-war-child.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqUsDiSgOQWftejeoRhS117tDOe6fvYsJ2VxdnP9OCNd1V7zGm7jKDKME9Sbuuydy52ZwFBRZDMkhTVu23plfmS7-3iCGVQGzpQHJMEFF57p5y6OFIJfXl-j1o2rFxp-Ar4GtabZnRCzlw/s320/iraq-war-child.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>...children.</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table><h2> </h2>These are Iraqi children whose parents were either killed by bombings or by military advancements. If ever these (and other) children found out that a crapload of fortune is waiting for them, you can just give these kids twenty more years and they will start ruling the night and beat terrorists/criminals/common thugs to death.
<h2> </h2> And why you might suck on this? Because if you suffered the same fate as Batman, you're not reading this article. You might be in some Government agency orphaning parent-less teen-agers, or fuck, you might be in drugs. That's how awesome Batman is, he wouldn't self-destruct, he'd rather destroy others. Especially bad guys. Because fuck bad guys.<span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
<h2> </h2><h2> </h2><h2> </h2><h2> </h2><h2> </h2><h2> </h2> <b><span style="font-size: small;"><i>If you liked this article, find out more about Batman in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human First Part: Why Batman is Awesome. </a></i></span></b></div>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-31732080261831340432011-03-31T13:49:00.002+08:002011-04-01T23:26:38.660+08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxC1QRtMAmznwoOCwYzkLg_BLnpfQrCmp1RN2e2EFaCd2Zzn5VRvxr0iCbt6cD4wmsg_kswUDwaOTd6pY9qIHPe7j7xnsznJCHfZJ4o_tEyzDQLW2uUPYEwxQFxgWQnw0aJHpZrCBTVoT0/s1600/nojoke.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxC1QRtMAmznwoOCwYzkLg_BLnpfQrCmp1RN2e2EFaCd2Zzn5VRvxr0iCbt6cD4wmsg_kswUDwaOTd6pY9qIHPe7j7xnsznJCHfZJ4o_tEyzDQLW2uUPYEwxQFxgWQnw0aJHpZrCBTVoT0/s640/nojoke.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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If you're looking at this teaser, then why? Go ahead and read <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/04/only-human-second-part-how-to-become.html">Only Human Second Part: A Guide On How To Become Batman</a>. Or check out what you missed in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human First Part: Why Batman Is Awesome. </a>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-61497074027459690022011-03-28T01:29:00.003+08:002011-04-01T18:52:35.531+08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDRSjlrvEhxVBPlAFxzIud83Ig7ZB4vCryWGMWF8Kwah7jA8qDe0jR4CONeZulJJ9wokr3-gSG58e7bBsLKbJo5IEFyO5NXjaXhDkBs4c2bp11uzBuiS4FG7cmtdnM7gNxi2dRV0JnyLd7/s1600/Alex+Ross+-+Batman+Scars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDRSjlrvEhxVBPlAFxzIud83Ig7ZB4vCryWGMWF8Kwah7jA8qDe0jR4CONeZulJJ9wokr3-gSG58e7bBsLKbJo5IEFyO5NXjaXhDkBs4c2bp11uzBuiS4FG7cmtdnM7gNxi2dRV0JnyLd7/s640/Alex+Ross+-+Batman+Scars.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Damn, what are you doing here? Go ahead and check <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/04/only-human-second-part-how-to-become.html">Only Human Second Part: A Guide On How To Become Batman</a>. Or read what you missed in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human First Part: Why Batman Is Awesome.</a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-80385785928778879402011-03-05T00:42:00.295+08:002011-03-31T19:15:59.587+08:00Why Science Will Kick Religion's Ass<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0trg7g13p0dChbvJjpHpRkDVwKmDE0jrup_KUbLklxIkcJztFGYtgIAhwWezwnDxZdk1O6fkQFIF6nTxjhhjvbQVT52kZZrpOkOiGHO3c4GEebrXWXPpF8wVuZF3Q5fuNqaoZIOvixJ0q/s1600/FSM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="326" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0trg7g13p0dChbvJjpHpRkDVwKmDE0jrup_KUbLklxIkcJztFGYtgIAhwWezwnDxZdk1O6fkQFIF6nTxjhhjvbQVT52kZZrpOkOiGHO3c4GEebrXWXPpF8wVuZF3Q5fuNqaoZIOvixJ0q/s640/FSM.jpg" width="640" /></a><i></i></div><br />
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><i>DISCLAIMER: This article was written as a niece's request for their Science vs. Religion College-wide debate. Due to insistent public demand (and when I say </i><i>insistent </i><i>public</i><i> demand I mean some person holding a steak knife to my throat</i><i>), it was reformatted and republished to Nevermore Nonsense's style.</i><b><i> </i><i>This article does not reflect the author's personal views.</i><i> </i></b></div><div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Science will kick religion’s ass. If you don’t believe that, you’re either <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wallace-best-phd/eddie-long-lessons-from-a_b_747517.html">Eddie Long</a> or Pope Benedict XVI, or both. If you can’t tell the difference between these two topics, you’re <a href="http://www.scientology-lies.com/faq/celebrities/tom-cruise.html">Tom Cruise</a>.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkDQWw_gv2SCyYH8bn1Fp6IL9isU4E6QX_Gh3PekxVBsk66flZclt6wiNWufryuzJM_kmzfv17uI4Qmxa_3dignu-MLmkxKiGEkXo2ilvfociX2KbCyWsmxrKURHuO2L0MWiftv6tF4dTG/s1600/cruise24806_narrowweb__300x5760.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkDQWw_gv2SCyYH8bn1Fp6IL9isU4E6QX_Gh3PekxVBsk66flZclt6wiNWufryuzJM_kmzfv17uI4Qmxa_3dignu-MLmkxKiGEkXo2ilvfociX2KbCyWsmxrKURHuO2L0MWiftv6tF4dTG/s400/cruise24806_narrowweb__300x5760.jpg" width="207" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There's no such things as God. Only aliens who came here a long, long time ago. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>Religion is only a device created by man to inspire fear and authority among other men, to combat his own fears that he can never understand, or a way to make sense of the world that seems to be devoid of explanation, like death, natural phenomena, or the origin of life (just like Tom Cruise and the other bat-shit insane <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_Scientology">Scientologists</a>). In other words, religion is here so that we can be comfortable with our world, or worse, be in control with it (again, just like Tom Cruise!).<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_8Cl8lXSIViJ8poOC4uD-um2sa-iFLW1oC066LAp_whyIf66LEuF3OTSKNaIgcFERf7noz7UF9pAta67asKodnMAB0WWpLmzGK8Y9iETUSTy70INxhneVrYlQoYz6sl49Q_x6znay4Bq/s1600/tom_cruise_scientology.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_8Cl8lXSIViJ8poOC4uD-um2sa-iFLW1oC066LAp_whyIf66LEuF3OTSKNaIgcFERf7noz7UF9pAta67asKodnMAB0WWpLmzGK8Y9iETUSTy70INxhneVrYlQoYz6sl49Q_x6znay4Bq/s320/tom_cruise_scientology.jpg" width="226" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And they're gonna fucking rule this world (maniacal laughter).</td></tr>
</tbody></table>While Science, on the other hand, is more systematized, more organized, operating on the principle of logic and reasoning, suspending belief until proof is provided, and most of all, involving long and careful investigation and research.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn0LQE1qsAo8qLP0JR4xZISOZ_gsNlKOhxm5dkGnPRQ1CZrXGyLtEBVJv1zy-Bz3UlyFDWWMj4zVB-010K35xBytZhKyuOoPoEVvXf8P5kzuO8LsXFJKNJVYR163U576Au8JCef4iVO9uj/s1600/google_classic_700.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn0LQE1qsAo8qLP0JR4xZISOZ_gsNlKOhxm5dkGnPRQ1CZrXGyLtEBVJv1zy-Bz3UlyFDWWMj4zVB-010K35xBytZhKyuOoPoEVvXf8P5kzuO8LsXFJKNJVYR163U576Au8JCef4iVO9uj/s400/google_classic_700.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How research looked like back then.</td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Thousands of years ago, man relied upon religion and spirituality to explain things that he can’t completely understand. The earthquakes and storms were the furry of Poseidon, or of his sexually notorious little brother Zeus, for the Greeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The eclipse occurs because <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bakunawa">Bakunawa</a>, a huge-ass serpent-god of the Philippine mythology is devouring the Sun. And the sun’s rising and setting is attributed to Helios and a flaming chariot, or Ra and a <a href="http://www.egyptianmyths.net/scarab.htm">heavenly beetle</a> rolling the sun in the sky for the Egyptians.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Explanations that were devoid of logic and sense.</div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh073X4cK5mtGFdzbBRH3ELMn5s32FcFxkoGPG1l3EIyDQg_mwQZizcVte9Zwixo0LJeLSbI9n_cCrIsF76BGvDFrZoKYaDJBcl-ZYDd_djPbNa3m2W5YmpWLHzagEDTxvt4YtDKn5chSDe/s1600/The_Dung_Beetle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh073X4cK5mtGFdzbBRH3ELMn5s32FcFxkoGPG1l3EIyDQg_mwQZizcVte9Zwixo0LJeLSbI9n_cCrIsF76BGvDFrZoKYaDJBcl-ZYDd_djPbNa3m2W5YmpWLHzagEDTxvt4YtDKn5chSDe/s320/The_Dung_Beetle.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Basically, ancient Egyptians believed that the sun is a big ball of shit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Until Science steps in. Showing how the tectonic plates move and how the atmosphere constantly changes. Enlightening us how the moon will sometimes pass between us and the sun, causing this darkness that once terrified those who had seen it. And at the same time, explaining about the Earth’s rotation around the sun. Science completely abolished these gods, and crushed their religion that once ruled and scared the shit among ancient men. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8kDzhZ5gSA0TmSASeVjTZaWOhvGXx_cj80rDU8Kap3UfmVVYxKAXhfSRURjQs40iZmGS8C_t6nHKNKqbIQEvFM7-s2UnIBVpQ4V8KEJkfL64ehaPvjSz_sUvlaGIgUGiJa5OKeiwOXTcv/s1600/funny-japanese-pillow-invention_strange_weird_offbeat_crazy_fun_9084.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8kDzhZ5gSA0TmSASeVjTZaWOhvGXx_cj80rDU8Kap3UfmVVYxKAXhfSRURjQs40iZmGS8C_t6nHKNKqbIQEvFM7-s2UnIBVpQ4V8KEJkfL64ehaPvjSz_sUvlaGIgUGiJa5OKeiwOXTcv/s320/funny-japanese-pillow-invention_strange_weird_offbeat_crazy_fun_9084.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also, Science came up with these. Whatever the <i>fuck</i> are these.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">To quote renowned, and not to mention badass physicist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Hawking">Stephen Hawking</a>, <i>"There is a fundamental difference between religion, which is based on authority, [and] science, which is based on observation and reason. Science will win because it works." </i>And presumably followed by <i>"I know this because my brain can kick your brain's ass anytime, prick."</i> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj5P-6wocfIAC43CCfgvW9V9UwA8L38yOLIFOOOMW2fzEMomBC_kJTRJmeUz8fNeyAetXhSZKaVL0ueDFmfaZpV2IzzM2nrTpTEslbTVvmvhkw_bL4vRqe8yqf8iGFCwdUoEF8RMLvMZT3/s1600/hawking%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj5P-6wocfIAC43CCfgvW9V9UwA8L38yOLIFOOOMW2fzEMomBC_kJTRJmeUz8fNeyAetXhSZKaVL0ueDFmfaZpV2IzzM2nrTpTEslbTVvmvhkw_bL4vRqe8yqf8iGFCwdUoEF8RMLvMZT3/s320/hawking%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stephen Hawkings contemplating on nuking earth with Gamma Ray bursts.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>And it indeed. In 1616, Italian physicist, astronomer, and kick ass stargazer Galileo Galilei <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galileo_affair">came under attacks</a> from the Roman Catholic Church because he supported and defended <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heliocentrism">Heliocentrism</a>, the idea that the Earth revolves around the Sun, because it goes against what the Bible say. Psalm 93:1 says that <i>“the world also is established, that it cannot be moved.”</i> while 1 Chronicles 16:30 states that <i>“the world also shall be stable, that it be not moved.”</i>, and according to Psalm 104:5, <i>“(God) set the earth on its foundations;<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it can never be moved.”</i>. And also, Pope Sixtus XVI reportedly said that, <i>"...the earth stayeth, as it hath been. Heard that, </i><i>Galileo?</i><i> You dickhole."</i> </div><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Galileo thinking how the Church ranks in suckage.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">And also, the Church believed that all the stars and the moon and the sun revolve around the Earth because the Son of God came down to this world to spread His religion, and therefore more fitting to be the center of the Goddamn Universe.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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That means Galileo’s idea is a raised middle finger to the <a href="http://csep10.phys.utk.edu/astr161/lect/retrograde/aristotle.html">Aristotelian Model of the Universe</a> that was being endorsed by the Church at the time, whose infallibility is both a human and divine authority. In short, at that time (and until now), the Church <i>cannot be damn wrong</i>. <i>Fucking never.</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">He was accused and condemned by the Church for heresy, and was sentenced for imprisonment by the Catholic Inquisition, and then he was brought to house arrest up until his death, probably using his telescope to amuse himself during boring times.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's taking it off!! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>Until last 1992, the Church, waking up to its senses, <a href="http://4thefirsttime.blogspot.com/2007/09/1992-catholic-church-apologizes-to.html">finally decided to give Galileo an apology</a> which was already overdue by 376 goddamned years. In the end, reason triumphed over baseless and capricious assumptions.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One reason why the church can't be trusted.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>English naturalist Charles Darwin never had a better chance either. His Theory of Evolution <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reaction_to_Darwin%27s_theory">received negative feedbacks</a> from the Church, basically because it went against what the Genesis Story of Creation had established. The Theory of Evolution states that life on earth developed or "evolved" from a lower class of species. In our case, we are a product of a long process of evolution from the species of hairy, ambling, and stinky apes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3TM_im2RfsllxMmH0lZdc-TQlFR40Cq_lYc06Z_q-JYzrZ3U29PEA2onrVTkcx2sTEw6aA_9t4hzhHkOv_S70ty-0s3md0wfx9p8Rm8XVMYXgg_FrpxPJUV5Fsh2t1JzuJmQFA1Dyf7T/s1600/6a00d8341c730253ef00e54f37bcee8833-640111wi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3TM_im2RfsllxMmH0lZdc-TQlFR40Cq_lYc06Z_q-JYzrZ3U29PEA2onrVTkcx2sTEw6aA_9t4hzhHkOv_S70ty-0s3md0wfx9p8Rm8XVMYXgg_FrpxPJUV5Fsh2t1JzuJmQFA1Dyf7T/s400/6a00d8341c730253ef00e54f37bcee8833-640111wi.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How Darwin viewed Christianity. Probably.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>While the Genesis Story of Creation established Man, which is Adam and Eve, as created by God and fully formed upon appearing on earth along with its other creatures. People at that time supported this theory of creation as more sensible and valid, completely overlooking the fact that this story involves a talking snake.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hZcw4YFaDfhsMsXXiIJdOSiM2Bw1hSNDSgmJV63T6kYKPYx7RtadE64Xt8_blSy0lHqAI-ahEZSI9j7UxxcKWdzlkHaTZmEc5ReTzAPtfr1I2MDMZ0f7l8h9MKAWAUImTao9E6u9YqpE/s1600/adam_eve_serpent1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hZcw4YFaDfhsMsXXiIJdOSiM2Bw1hSNDSgmJV63T6kYKPYx7RtadE64Xt8_blSy0lHqAI-ahEZSI9j7UxxcKWdzlkHaTZmEc5ReTzAPtfr1I2MDMZ0f7l8h9MKAWAUImTao9E6u9YqpE/s320/adam_eve_serpent1.jpg" width="308" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And holy crap look at that snake. No wonder they left Eden.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Also, at that time (and until now), the Church believed she <i>cannot be damn wrong</i>. And again, in 2008, <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1055597/Church-makes--8216-ludicrous-8217-apology-Charles-Darwin--126-years-death.html">the Church apologized for misunderstanding his theory</a>. Still, sense and proof won over a heap of unproved stories.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJK05DPxWtHHMiSnIwyYwBi3TCT80cqk_pzODXWW4iMyAFMUmaUK6FuA6OPpX_1jHRsYlbyWHuJjfGE1ZkTGYXTiqFXW0-ecVJiWy2-FJ3hMfp_qUumEeTFtMMc44IZv2_lF8dqFIUKLA/s1600/EVOL_More_funny_Evolution_pics-s580x707-51745-580.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJK05DPxWtHHMiSnIwyYwBi3TCT80cqk_pzODXWW4iMyAFMUmaUK6FuA6OPpX_1jHRsYlbyWHuJjfGE1ZkTGYXTiqFXW0-ecVJiWy2-FJ3hMfp_qUumEeTFtMMc44IZv2_lF8dqFIUKLA/s400/EVOL_More_funny_Evolution_pics-s580x707-51745-580.jpg" width="327" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Proof that Darwin is a racist.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">And what does all the religion on earth, great and small, old and new, have in common, aside from the fact that they gravely hate each other?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGLMlYWqjA-9guaQAHxvFwmDY-rb2aJBU_1tTqXq8J-PFDa88ZpIBo8y_ORJSmAhyBxWLzBgqXTmZDi-Dj3Rq418bB2zlqyTgRqsUojYkjoftficSDSZFcCk5-Sl7gsjIAJ_1plesEpm2B/s1600/tom-cruise-acting-crazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGLMlYWqjA-9guaQAHxvFwmDY-rb2aJBU_1tTqXq8J-PFDa88ZpIBo8y_ORJSmAhyBxWLzBgqXTmZDi-Dj3Rq418bB2zlqyTgRqsUojYkjoftficSDSZFcCk5-Sl7gsjIAJ_1plesEpm2B/s320/tom-cruise-acting-crazy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They all think Tom Cruise is nuts.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Every single one of them has this concept of a soul, spirits, or ghosts, and ultimately, the concept of afterlife.You can <a href="http://www.religionfacts.com/big_religion_chart.htm">hardly think of any religion without one</a>.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir5FQC2LIO5W-LkesZ8c61iDMeCPHsJfj2So_kIOdwYDgY1UmXqeyPEHLcoQg5qb4iEpqMsHjRLBO8v_pRe-1xkgIUJt-x9boqrNh259cdCr-NynbyRvPNXoHWp9FARUp4Svtu9WYzcvM2/s1600/600px-T3-MINI-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir5FQC2LIO5W-LkesZ8c61iDMeCPHsJfj2So_kIOdwYDgY1UmXqeyPEHLcoQg5qb4iEpqMsHjRLBO8v_pRe-1xkgIUJt-x9boqrNh259cdCr-NynbyRvPNXoHWp9FARUp4Svtu9WYzcvM2/s400/600px-T3-MINI-4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Like an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie without machine guns, it just doesn't exist.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
This key component is a staple in all religion on this world. Why? Because it embattles that one thing you and I and all people in the world and in history had and will always fear: death.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigFYPHNy2tqjJdKqgM-F1NTnsKUUitbAqRedBYNCwMBeteQrZM53zbyFiTE815HqRUrB9KpLBcyUlvw1O_qLPFzIVo0PookiW6AnPiY67a2Si6A2faYFKOkrLuqDYoR_X-xIJ15LsnvlZ4/s1600/justin-bieber-movie-poster_363x450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigFYPHNy2tqjJdKqgM-F1NTnsKUUitbAqRedBYNCwMBeteQrZM53zbyFiTE815HqRUrB9KpLBcyUlvw1O_qLPFzIVo0PookiW6AnPiY67a2Si6A2faYFKOkrLuqDYoR_X-xIJ15LsnvlZ4/s320/justin-bieber-movie-poster_363x450.jpg" width="257" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also, this oncoming movie. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>Through the concept of afterlife, people are being reminded that there will be something beyond death; a paradise, a lake of fire, a purging realm, some gigantic <a href="http://www.egyptianmyths.net/anubis.htm">dog-headed guy</a>, or even getting reincarnated. Each religion has its own version of an afterlife. All were designed to make their followers sleep better at night because they know they will survive goddamned death itself in the end.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLHFdSfL_USVvbSDO6EXg_hfg12eua0GpqoDkUdJHeXnLYcew2Q1Ts-NM5K-vIonaSnnUfH_z5aXvoKakq5ycEEIoQ8M-ZnBcbkZ4X9Swylajv29_jcmbkIpN8_hd35_Q7j13TW7I0hlH/s1600/pb240277.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLHFdSfL_USVvbSDO6EXg_hfg12eua0GpqoDkUdJHeXnLYcew2Q1Ts-NM5K-vIonaSnnUfH_z5aXvoKakq5ycEEIoQ8M-ZnBcbkZ4X9Swylajv29_jcmbkIpN8_hd35_Q7j13TW7I0hlH/s320/pb240277.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even if that means getting reincarnated as <a href="http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/02/080221-caterpillar-picture.html">this insect that completely looks like shit</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>It's fairly clear that it's one thing why Man needs a religion, whatever the hell the form it will take. There should be something or someone that he needs to have faith to.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHk4Ih0xbHKKPXr9GJK2-vC2Q9jOgK4mx3c5qclwu0cTz85TY1kB9Jmv1L1zm0Y7Wm9Uky746i5-Fn1QY7EcmsjfzvGQ0DP-Z6LIS2PHIfxqvDaqn0u_MHIZKMTcEmI3WYYAXQaq885VlS/s1600/_41691996_popemobile_afp416.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHk4Ih0xbHKKPXr9GJK2-vC2Q9jOgK4mx3c5qclwu0cTz85TY1kB9Jmv1L1zm0Y7Wm9Uky746i5-Fn1QY7EcmsjfzvGQ0DP-Z6LIS2PHIfxqvDaqn0u_MHIZKMTcEmI3WYYAXQaq885VlS/s320/_41691996_popemobile_afp416.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And nothing proves faith to God than three-inches of bullet-proof glass. Right, Pope?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Though no single religion has ever presented a definitive proof that afterlife really exists. How about the existence of ghosts and spirits that touches our napes while we're inside dark haunted houses and abandoned buildings, you say? Well, actually, science had already <a href="http://www.suite101.com/content/infrasound-and-ghosts-a114832">cracked that one up</a>, and the explanation is, surprisingly, more nerdy rather than scary.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJlaLAO9FC_w1M1byPR2WcZ8kE-Jc0Wfptl_BdS3qW8AIIAtrGDWFGZZbqWZZvhsWtMLcgZxQfgbkfdcZZnV7fp8fVqzvHCTiGhac72YdXsJ0SSSSWuaZI2cczLF0e3Dfq5rssEOYa9sjY/s1600/hfghn54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJlaLAO9FC_w1M1byPR2WcZ8kE-Jc0Wfptl_BdS3qW8AIIAtrGDWFGZZbqWZZvhsWtMLcgZxQfgbkfdcZZnV7fp8fVqzvHCTiGhac72YdXsJ0SSSSWuaZI2cczLF0e3Dfq5rssEOYa9sjY/s320/hfghn54.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bullshit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Most religious groups (read: Catholics) will often argue that Science has decimated more lives from the weapons that it has produced, bombs it has created and the experiments it has performed than anything else in history, and many more will die in its hands with the biological weapons it is creating in underground labs filled with mad scientists that diabolically laugh every ten minutes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZQkIVvNLj1DQo6cV83qLbH8kHrrwRjJ5PX-f_G3w0YVJIzjzg0FYC3scgRwG_Mu5pA1u7ju6ubUUeQ4zDVdl_tZvuDdYV-HWDha2uPy9jPFPBSQ-WemuSVIMiT6sK9TNaSNcBr0AX8pAT/s1600/Tom-Cruise-laughing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZQkIVvNLj1DQo6cV83qLbH8kHrrwRjJ5PX-f_G3w0YVJIzjzg0FYC3scgRwG_Mu5pA1u7ju6ubUUeQ4zDVdl_tZvuDdYV-HWDha2uPy9jPFPBSQ-WemuSVIMiT6sK9TNaSNcBr0AX8pAT/s320/Tom-Cruise-laughing.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lead by this guy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>But whoever hides behind in the mantle of this argument is completely ignorant of history, and therefore knows entirely nothing about a dark part in the history of Christianity, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inquisition">Catholic Inquisition</a>.<br />
<br />
Also known as "The Inquisition", it is the Roman Catholic Church's operation to hunt down <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heresy">heretics</a>, including supposed witches, non-believers, pagans, and boy band members so they can be subjected to countless tortures, punishments, and even execution, all probably while the Inquisitors tell dick jokes with each other.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0DBX4VMwayQN0zfwWVCChCohcmZlilHSN5bhkNKVxaZ9WWVO_VUFkSOBqxgTCnelp2yDxWoutocNX1EqKFzbbqU9IXQjwPcHISnUsoBXU9Ry2GI9i_E2Sn5Nlq_wzNZP6Dx85v3aY6B2/s1600/Water+Torture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0DBX4VMwayQN0zfwWVCChCohcmZlilHSN5bhkNKVxaZ9WWVO_VUFkSOBqxgTCnelp2yDxWoutocNX1EqKFzbbqU9IXQjwPcHISnUsoBXU9Ry2GI9i_E2Sn5Nlq_wzNZP6Dx85v3aY6B2/s320/Water+Torture.jpg" width="315" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Inquisitors during one of their lunch breaks.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The Inquisition started about in the 12th century and lasted in the 18th Century, with the operations performed across Europe. Galileo's house arrest was a result of this, though he's luckier than the rest of the victims, who were whipped, stabbed, disemboweled, or burned at the stake. All in the name of the Church itself.<br />
<br />
The Church is so proud of the Inquisition, she even bothered to commission a logo for it.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB5NO6EZH8Y5L_fS6Cr3LFDow8aCfFo6Y_fM49rsQ-qmS1EImq8O-IUJ6v2WDNHi-ClDajLztu_zNXHgxXlgLT35oeBH4JVn328VCOM0DbVpwaQvxo7-xujzeYM-H99ZuGx8bj5UJjXFLv/s1600/Escudo_inquisicion.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB5NO6EZH8Y5L_fS6Cr3LFDow8aCfFo6Y_fM49rsQ-qmS1EImq8O-IUJ6v2WDNHi-ClDajLztu_zNXHgxXlgLT35oeBH4JVn328VCOM0DbVpwaQvxo7-xujzeYM-H99ZuGx8bj5UJjXFLv/s320/Escudo_inquisicion.jpeg" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Praise God in the Highest. Or we'll cut your nuts."</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
And how many people did it tortured and killed? One thousand? Two thousand, you say?<br />
<br />
That's 6,000 people executed in this witch-hunting routine according to <a href="http://www.davidmacd.com/catholic/inquisition.htm">the Church</a>, and most of them not even tried and proved of whatever it was they were being accused of. While most historians <a href="http://www.theroadtoemmaus.org/RdLb/21PbAr/Pl/DthByAthsm.htm">agree that</a> at least 264,000 people were put to death during these times. That's two hundred and fucking sixty-four thousand, as many as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_population">population</a> of Barbados, or twice the number of people perished by the Atomic bomb at Hiroshima.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;"></div></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82eQ66lU-K3IzdE8E8MbjZOpFDqJLczVkvcjCvCsf3axOAQ2X_7DSKSYb9wOpZoNJ4gal45OXK5WvTNJSvWkdZgsl8IMGt-5T1WLeCErazg0WePeoW1WDJS-UxslqLuKXBkyDMvBpwpCM/s1600/killers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="432" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82eQ66lU-K3IzdE8E8MbjZOpFDqJLczVkvcjCvCsf3axOAQ2X_7DSKSYb9wOpZoNJ4gal45OXK5WvTNJSvWkdZgsl8IMGt-5T1WLeCErazg0WePeoW1WDJS-UxslqLuKXBkyDMvBpwpCM/s640/killers.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A clear view of how the Inquisition fared in body count.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Science alone could not kill, it's the men who use it to their advantage that does it. The people in the Inquisition, on the other hand, deliberately did those tortures and execution. It's not like someone held a steak knife to the Pope's balls and said <i>"Ditch out those witches. They're becoming a shitty business". </i>The Church purposely performed it, with free fucking will.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDOk6RKthHRan_XhS6Nseam1CFSvtLHShAQmiWMbtYmwXaCJFlEbJGGvMpVyoNqMtCJvj2iU1bkydgIbrxpVdP0Y15ueLLeU4KcgWSnYgqGGiIRysxKVipTjduwbz3rOVDIIuaFWqr3jpQ/s1600/st-peters-basilica-vatican-city-i749.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDOk6RKthHRan_XhS6Nseam1CFSvtLHShAQmiWMbtYmwXaCJFlEbJGGvMpVyoNqMtCJvj2iU1bkydgIbrxpVdP0Y15ueLLeU4KcgWSnYgqGGiIRysxKVipTjduwbz3rOVDIIuaFWqr3jpQ/s320/st-peters-basilica-vatican-city-i749.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Church: Dicking out with people since 1100's.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>And you must be expecting at this point that the Vatican, this time holding conviction to this "cleansing" operation, will refuse to give shit and apologize for the victims of the Inquisition, and to all life-forms on earth it had ever hurt.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJNJkif8kJjeGdMwKT0Xd72fegpW1BVzXOZWvQ6o2-RfyDF8udlx26VzEDRobY8xD0bnf_iS8Lm4fhixqCdpkTjCGjV4EdIeeSp3Siw-qB_W8rmzTsXane2VvMXQWzC22hRnIlQqJXI6h3/s1600/9830_md-Conversion%252C+Humor%252C+Inquisition%252C+Spain.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJNJkif8kJjeGdMwKT0Xd72fegpW1BVzXOZWvQ6o2-RfyDF8udlx26VzEDRobY8xD0bnf_iS8Lm4fhixqCdpkTjCGjV4EdIeeSp3Siw-qB_W8rmzTsXane2VvMXQWzC22hRnIlQqJXI6h3/s320/9830_md-Conversion%252C+Humor%252C+Inquisition%252C+Spain.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Heretics fuck yah!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>You're wrong. On March, 2000, Pope John Paul II <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2000/mar/13/catholicism.religion">gave an apology</a> to the "Jews, heretics, women, Gypsies and native peoples.", that were victims of this violence. It was a move that rocked the Church's supposed infallibility. But honestly, it's more morally logical than shrugging their shoulders off over the bazzilions of people that they boned only because they thought those guys were witches or satanists or vampires.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWA8or4LKy7-dQgFbqRf_uPq5_gxI-OK_Gh7K1Sxiiup9gwPuHf4moq95JH1PPbNPkHKIvHJHdInLwRfu3OKb8x6c1grboarTbP6a567kLcumhFovPgIvi8cWV6bRsUxy9C2-v0g7n4DuD/s1600/twilight-movie-poster1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWA8or4LKy7-dQgFbqRf_uPq5_gxI-OK_Gh7K1Sxiiup9gwPuHf4moq95JH1PPbNPkHKIvHJHdInLwRfu3OKb8x6c1grboarTbP6a567kLcumhFovPgIvi8cWV6bRsUxy9C2-v0g7n4DuD/s320/twilight-movie-poster1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Today is a good time to bring back the Inquisition. And for Christ's sake bring it back .</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Science has been in war with Religion for as long as history can remember it. It was a long and sometimes chaotic battle of wits and conviction, sacrificing lives and destroying reputations from both sides, shaping and re-shaping the world as we know it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4aHqFPcYmpktYwgYCoYaZQNgyd0h1zQQUX60sDSwSATd4gLBmoJuRa0DR6IBUP4WgE6U60pqyqAxJxIR1yAgcFuiBSsH9SFs1_j_IOtpBT0wpQ-5uUrss7Eloxk-K04OtN0Ku6YH-u3-q/s1600/angels-demons-poster-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4aHqFPcYmpktYwgYCoYaZQNgyd0h1zQQUX60sDSwSATd4gLBmoJuRa0DR6IBUP4WgE6U60pqyqAxJxIR1yAgcFuiBSsH9SFs1_j_IOtpBT0wpQ-5uUrss7Eloxk-K04OtN0Ku6YH-u3-q/s320/angels-demons-poster-2.jpg" width="215" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also a source of Dan Brown's income and Tom Hanks' hairstyle redemption. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>But, as history proves, Science always come out with a lot more sense. When fast locomotives first came out, Church officials feared that we’re going against the speed limit that God set for us. When the airplane was invented, they said we’re not designed to fly. Even the Wright's Brother's father, in fear of tirade from the Church, expressed disapproval on his sons' achievement, exclaiming,<i> "If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us wings!"</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ4IwveTB0FIjpHGZc-VoclMMQ_ooswc99xlPmgsHkmWWMhzCQJkK-OcEdMwAcyTNSLDE0AMFwM2DeR7ElFfC9lMJyIz_HCpQVUQYOTaXGEaS4Y8d5ohJz_Nkayv6VJ6TkJ9fwDAI2hU7F/s1600/cheap_tickets_250x251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ4IwveTB0FIjpHGZc-VoclMMQ_ooswc99xlPmgsHkmWWMhzCQJkK-OcEdMwAcyTNSLDE0AMFwM2DeR7ElFfC9lMJyIz_HCpQVUQYOTaXGEaS4Y8d5ohJz_Nkayv6VJ6TkJ9fwDAI2hU7F/s1600/cheap_tickets_250x251.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'd say if God wanted us to fly, He would have given us airplane tickets!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">But today, church officials travel by train and the Pope has his own freaking airplane. And the list will go on. Science completely crushed these gods, and abolished age-old myths and urban legends. And it will always do so, time and again.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDHsqDMZI2aDNWBxctjhSiD8UfPgIMrg52LwgK1GCkZEUYxrJLfT1Ymnqux7jIKOO8LWPmDETC1WGmiSsMKRbx1_NmTCsJWm8iL4Ayjb1AJWzJeXjSmmdFVAIzwZPUQ1-876rVDUywbixE/s1600/funny-japanese-pillow-invention_strange_weird_offbeat_crazy_fun_90841.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDHsqDMZI2aDNWBxctjhSiD8UfPgIMrg52LwgK1GCkZEUYxrJLfT1Ymnqux7jIKOO8LWPmDETC1WGmiSsMKRbx1_NmTCsJWm8iL4Ayjb1AJWzJeXjSmmdFVAIzwZPUQ1-876rVDUywbixE/s320/funny-japanese-pillow-invention_strange_weird_offbeat_crazy_fun_90841.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And will always come out with things like Holy Shit What Is this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
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</div><b><i>If you liked that, check out <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/riddle-of-god.html">Riddle of God</a>, or find out why Batman is almost godlike in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human.</a></i></b>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-55823114038462463332011-01-29T02:47:00.018+08:002012-07-17T19:58:55.674+08:0010 Things You Should Know When Someone's Blowing Off Our Buses<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSaTGx76yP16JA1Oy6rY7CDJW2uDJPpwq0r5VyYi-0ePHRO6vJVJiGqL4B3zOrwZhgj5H961RKMP0w9SIfMDNSVVQd9BjNiCSh7DMPl0SrpAX1dhs_tYP1vRnV0aJIpn86oHCtkV_7Nfgl/s1600/bus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSaTGx76yP16JA1Oy6rY7CDJW2uDJPpwq0r5VyYi-0ePHRO6vJVJiGqL4B3zOrwZhgj5H961RKMP0w9SIfMDNSVVQd9BjNiCSh7DMPl0SrpAX1dhs_tYP1vRnV0aJIpn86oHCtkV_7Nfgl/s640/bus.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Tuesday, January 25, at two in the afternoon, while the sun is high and people are busy having <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">siesta</i> or watching <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Eat Bulaga!</i> in the comfort of their homes, an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) exploded inside a bus along EDSA, killing 5 people, injuring 13 more, and scaring the shit out of the rest of the entire Metro Manila.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/01/27/11/edsa-bus-blast-bears-signature-milf-sog">Terrorism is now among us.</a> There's no doubt about it. While we’re all complacently chatting and sipping Caramel Macchiatos inside Starbucks, these terrorists are busy amassing more shitloads of explosives, while we waste our time making shitty comments on Facebook, they are planning their next bombing series the way Regal Films infinitely re-spawns its <i>Shake, Rattle, and Roll</i> franchise.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJfEMLlTNXwH5Vf-Yfnak6dU-TCKZq3EenWBdHxXGJ7pVxct1IWimYjOhCwwox8_U7B2F4cISjHxCoC2IUr7JGvRyJug70zJgw5GwBITI12vE6leQgHnwHzl1ZcJ-M7oap4G76PV8dabo2/s1600/srr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJfEMLlTNXwH5Vf-Yfnak6dU-TCKZq3EenWBdHxXGJ7pVxct1IWimYjOhCwwox8_U7B2F4cISjHxCoC2IUr7JGvRyJug70zJgw5GwBITI12vE6leQgHnwHzl1ZcJ-M7oap4G76PV8dabo2/s400/srr.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only way to stop this is to drive a stake to Mother Lily's heart.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
And because here at Nevermore Nonsense, I don’t just want my blog site to be another source of dick jokes and anecdotes making fun of almost everything just because I have the word “nonsense” in my blog name. I've lined up the things we can do to be prepared for occasions like this while riding the MRT, LRT, buses, or any form of public transportation we have access to. Because running in the streets and yelling "We're all gonna die!" is a not a very good alternative.</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfBWrgv2K51EMa5XL5rzJadn1bzf5fb1XAx6ejtjOiqdRwjLJdCORYWFyGJp6GEFb7mNMGFkeLR6xnFbsD60K969HCDVbnwC6wGU1-ypVxW5a17f-EWlH0FJmewqmaRpI-Ado3w_K6sHdi/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="342" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfBWrgv2K51EMa5XL5rzJadn1bzf5fb1XAx6ejtjOiqdRwjLJdCORYWFyGJp6GEFb7mNMGFkeLR6xnFbsD60K969HCDVbnwC6wGU1-ypVxW5a17f-EWlH0FJmewqmaRpI-Ado3w_K6sHdi/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>We all know Ayala is beautiful during the night, or the lady in front of you has the best chestige in town, but <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=zoned%20out">zoning out</a>, or not paying attention to your surroundings is a no-no inside a public transportation especially when a terrorist attack is imminent.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVwYh3xcpGYZ__tcLOC_N8GM3YHGWK_g2H8ubOmw1UdEAo9YRjc0asiRuLKeigyzRKhcI95EeCrafdmh1kOirSlrb1wGZAn14sAbtJE3n5uTjHxt5XVfkIBf8uWzBHlSt7dIRKI_j78ROk/s1600/distraction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVwYh3xcpGYZ__tcLOC_N8GM3YHGWK_g2H8ubOmw1UdEAo9YRjc0asiRuLKeigyzRKhcI95EeCrafdmh1kOirSlrb1wGZAn14sAbtJE3n5uTjHxt5XVfkIBf8uWzBHlSt7dIRKI_j78ROk/s1600/distraction.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A <i>really big</i> pair of distractions.</td></tr>
</tbody></table> ALWAYS watch for anything or anyone that is suspicious or unusual. No, we're not talking about Arabs or any guys with turbans here. Terrorists come in all forms, nationality, and appearance. Always pay attention to anyone who looks suspiciously nervous, or those wearing conspicuously bulky clothings with them. They might be carrying a bomb within those layers of clothings.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMTugoP7SSonJlVKzM0vjz_Zm9OB70oFhoVAzvi4IYD7T7V7RO3fbkL7g7m-Lo584mFAS4XuWq8ZYwlWg5EJUj9muEsuuEdSUxeXoFdPks2gjRLOBRiAdR2gnqEUjwP7iUpfY6Noq8s-VJ/s1600/AnatomyOfHomie1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMTugoP7SSonJlVKzM0vjz_Zm9OB70oFhoVAzvi4IYD7T7V7RO3fbkL7g7m-Lo584mFAS4XuWq8ZYwlWg5EJUj9muEsuuEdSUxeXoFdPks2gjRLOBRiAdR2gnqEUjwP7iUpfY6Noq8s-VJ/s320/AnatomyOfHomie1.jpg" width="155" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Or maybe they're just out of style. But don't be too sure.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MTusdy6Cly_y2I6yPsWuQUP2KvKbJ8kEA5V7YObclYEY9zO8Hzv9peGWpMFJFoPA2GAJzjuqqawmrdqIsoqEZT3ZSNRnxoVmoecM9UlODqlwV_IGAU1yKLgDioz9voYeDtmlORASpMgG/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MTusdy6Cly_y2I6yPsWuQUP2KvKbJ8kEA5V7YObclYEY9zO8Hzv9peGWpMFJFoPA2GAJzjuqqawmrdqIsoqEZT3ZSNRnxoVmoecM9UlODqlwV_IGAU1yKLgDioz9voYeDtmlORASpMgG/s640/2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hell. No one in their right mind will accept any package from someone they haven't even seen in their entire life. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4xYVUSzni6v9UbRvDQrhKP7cYeF8lkqdHnOh1RIG5GuG6gg_gbBZqsxFuSEY2NVECCDm4ktL6Qr4DGL0_7OABRtMYVpqzRFZvNRfWNA52dASvKSg5RnJT8hhQBr3ViiTB-G2EVojfzGp5/s1600/manson1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4xYVUSzni6v9UbRvDQrhKP7cYeF8lkqdHnOh1RIG5GuG6gg_gbBZqsxFuSEY2NVECCDm4ktL6Qr4DGL0_7OABRtMYVpqzRFZvNRfWNA52dASvKSg5RnJT8hhQBr3ViiTB-G2EVojfzGp5/s1600/manson1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Especially if he looks like this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">The streets are full of fraudulent and irrational people. If a complete stranger hands you a box or a bag, it must be something they don't want to get caught in their possession, or worse, it must be something they don't want to go off in their possession. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Pictured below is a kind of package you SHOULD NEVER accept from anyone.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ktG2adlz88n_a3vBLbcUemhVLVPmsS4w1Zjn6HM52vcv8QXzmVusvT5qsBFce1zSbIUNmc6j00Fh_PKl1hLLnZz8wj11Ds-PGZ0n6cahvtjxsKUbmAzlMYvxdPFj30QgFpXzYGSOp0WQ/s1600/PackageBomb.GIF" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ktG2adlz88n_a3vBLbcUemhVLVPmsS4w1Zjn6HM52vcv8QXzmVusvT5qsBFce1zSbIUNmc6j00Fh_PKl1hLLnZz8wj11Ds-PGZ0n6cahvtjxsKUbmAzlMYvxdPFj30QgFpXzYGSOp0WQ/s320/PackageBomb.GIF" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If ever someone asks or coerces you to carry a suspicious package, immediately report it to the authorities, or call 117, and never open the package out of curiosity yourself, because damn, you're no Batman.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidr5u-ddmohsApADlOesRfp4_otZTYj9vOuc7oEOBTE-NvLsJC7-QE-YvSynhPyqosWiT-jn8fIPbKtNlvY9uOuwEdNX1V2CnrGb3XzrfRmL2zDGt9hWFCOnA3I__5XWyKIgCuw_mKW0dm/s1600/BatmanWithBomb-720463.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidr5u-ddmohsApADlOesRfp4_otZTYj9vOuc7oEOBTE-NvLsJC7-QE-YvSynhPyqosWiT-jn8fIPbKtNlvY9uOuwEdNX1V2CnrGb3XzrfRmL2zDGt9hWFCOnA3I__5XWyKIgCuw_mKW0dm/s320/BatmanWithBomb-720463.jpg" width="250" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAglU95RfUjIcYv2vBO9q5hMfMaZcEEmzpKbpYM-kTLUKW3qUayrJrfrVB0ZlAGaG-YmGBVYXSowvSi4R-yAvD2mKHMdrl8P4gpDnOX_Kebx_IL8Or4hyphenhyphenXiOwTc90rMCeFZU9yaDGiGbo/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="344" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAglU95RfUjIcYv2vBO9q5hMfMaZcEEmzpKbpYM-kTLUKW3qUayrJrfrVB0ZlAGaG-YmGBVYXSowvSi4R-yAvD2mKHMdrl8P4gpDnOX_Kebx_IL8Or4hyphenhyphenXiOwTc90rMCeFZU9yaDGiGbo/s640/3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Bombs or any IED will always be disguised as innocent packages or luggage. They will come in form of bags, briefcases, boxes, letters, or even simple devices, like cell phones.</div><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9UFUcSKmfkjoNkpXWjTYGWcKDWLkNLm4xL_ZI-h4u7dSBrPacZfzR0IC7xAOcmxB_kbVJoqN36G-czZlVi7EjiFy5wB8VKQOzdMv54mwHlSVInhloMg-stRq5pcRAedRoquHwpJL5PZJZ/s1600/bomb-fatguy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9UFUcSKmfkjoNkpXWjTYGWcKDWLkNLm4xL_ZI-h4u7dSBrPacZfzR0IC7xAOcmxB_kbVJoqN36G-czZlVi7EjiFy5wB8VKQOzdMv54mwHlSVInhloMg-stRq5pcRAedRoquHwpJL5PZJZ/s400/bomb-fatguy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Which may or may not be inside a fat suicide bomber.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">Of course, no terrorist will carry a bomb that screams "bomb" from meters away if he wants to kill assloads of unsuspecting people, unless he <i>intends </i>to attract attention. He needs to hide it under some luggage.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj06dPNCZH_F9HlxPAZqDlb_HJsJi-Jvowi3gcensjpPEmoJBTDXfpszyD7cmX_pQZRxEJyENIr0aWYnPW8snEEf7CULvR4fAXAjvlWY6a5WKBKCEjGO5d-ADyufLBHbE0YALrvZJ0uRyyz/s1600/bomberman.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj06dPNCZH_F9HlxPAZqDlb_HJsJi-Jvowi3gcensjpPEmoJBTDXfpszyD7cmX_pQZRxEJyENIr0aWYnPW8snEEf7CULvR4fAXAjvlWY6a5WKBKCEjGO5d-ADyufLBHbE0YALrvZJ0uRyyz/s320/bomberman.png" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And unless this is the bomber we're talking about.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">And when we speak of luggage, it means any kind of luggage will do, including yours. Wherever you are, ALWAYS STAY WITH, AND LOOK AFTER your luggage. Terrorists might sneak in and put the explosive device inside, and <i>alas,</i> you are a traveling, train-riding, city-trotting, accident waiting to happen.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvhnI_kt22fpwA1UGLfRE3OYY6tgQLktw1M35lbM0j8h1yGV-RSCHDPAcgRHol8p7r0cgRVl-GYwBcRQ7NT3m66x6D1eAdYoPaCAi-zRZdb7fQYyn39lQicUpf7Q8GqPLeAxU92jGt5uQI/s1600/mr-bean.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvhnI_kt22fpwA1UGLfRE3OYY6tgQLktw1M35lbM0j8h1yGV-RSCHDPAcgRHol8p7r0cgRVl-GYwBcRQ7NT3m66x6D1eAdYoPaCAi-zRZdb7fQYyn39lQicUpf7Q8GqPLeAxU92jGt5uQI/s1600/mr-bean.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A traveling, train-riding, city-trotting, accident waiting to happen</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">And if ever you see an unattended package or luggage, REPORT this to the authorities, or dial 117. Because packages like this would not be taken lightly. It must be remembered that the IED that went off in EDSA was hidden inside a small bag left by two men.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJMKFhXvTMsF01mujoqaU3NSk8jbsOVcoQY2_gntCzf9S-LBiTJFLptprOLazcf0yJQdg0mTMpaxFxGGst-Z-uGIfGrjvzZZlQrYU5P7kjc7kPJLRgZWJJlxM5c6o2LNYWnYUqUHjxCmd7/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="368" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJMKFhXvTMsF01mujoqaU3NSk8jbsOVcoQY2_gntCzf9S-LBiTJFLptprOLazcf0yJQdg0mTMpaxFxGGst-Z-uGIfGrjvzZZlQrYU5P7kjc7kPJLRgZWJJlxM5c6o2LNYWnYUqUHjxCmd7/s640/4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Signs are paced into specific areas to warn us of possible dangers or give us specific directions which might be hiding in plain sight.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKai1E3gwQZSiI29czBKYPlImsK6-DrX4-Tjpc-uMbINAN0fkdIH90LjQuM7sX6p7xVtvWrqQZTUn2grDzc5bU0waWaSgN09dGu8KdmnFoD6qjp8HXeUAUKZvKtDkYvgoVpvciXghEZu2/s1600/FunnySigns_25.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKai1E3gwQZSiI29czBKYPlImsK6-DrX4-Tjpc-uMbINAN0fkdIH90LjQuM7sX6p7xVtvWrqQZTUn2grDzc5bU0waWaSgN09dGu8KdmnFoD6qjp8HXeUAUKZvKtDkYvgoVpvciXghEZu2/s320/FunnySigns_25.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>And that includes emergency exit signs. You can always look for these signs to locate the emergency exits in case an attack happens.<br />
<br />
Different establishments and countries have different exit signs. But it only serves one purpose: your way to safety.<br />
<br />
The United States (and some movie houses here in the Philippines) maintain its big, red, glowing EXIT word sign.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYgB3VIisrJTW5RnttV09ac_yL0qkKzTeZtvbFBA0q8-DyIJYKslUTVWtTqnh9-0A2bqvtWPbnxvntS1fNZI2klBo3pGWG2G0pyp4m_OUK0YebivmKHab0BxrKE5Yk_YkXT2iLQjDDv5VF/s1600/exit_lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYgB3VIisrJTW5RnttV09ac_yL0qkKzTeZtvbFBA0q8-DyIJYKslUTVWtTqnh9-0A2bqvtWPbnxvntS1fNZI2klBo3pGWG2G0pyp4m_OUK0YebivmKHab0BxrKE5Yk_YkXT2iLQjDDv5VF/s320/exit_lg.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
But some others (especially the non-English speaking countries) choose the wordless, "Little Green Man" exit sign, which look like Dick Tracy without a hat on a pursuit.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QLeT2xLs9_-hAcD4Lg_hQszoXePu_k55YxEetqkouVBqGTwcUE9dkf5uLh8kH8CAJaAW8sU_0zqKvNYsFYDEP4D6-Cb4zj8VuBwxtrwqGybx13o_MirJP1qDm6HDNfDW61IPIqCNOryZ/s1600/100308_SIGNS_exit_greenTN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QLeT2xLs9_-hAcD4Lg_hQszoXePu_k55YxEetqkouVBqGTwcUE9dkf5uLh8kH8CAJaAW8sU_0zqKvNYsFYDEP4D6-Cb4zj8VuBwxtrwqGybx13o_MirJP1qDm6HDNfDW61IPIqCNOryZ/s1600/100308_SIGNS_exit_greenTN.jpg" /></a></div><br />
The Russians, on the other hand, use their own language, coupled with an arrow to show directions.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9ec6DvcG6IM0isiz7Up9gU-QoYZAMZW_Sm1-6HWccHs1IB478GFh0YRWWNeeOkIJM8ekJ1q8kkvt0uRtIkdsQouYlOfTvX3rm_tUKomdPRneyRNxrYGgYu_gtKcEKM4Jsze0BM6ZYYLH/s1600/full_ufa-exit-sign.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9ec6DvcG6IM0isiz7Up9gU-QoYZAMZW_Sm1-6HWccHs1IB478GFh0YRWWNeeOkIJM8ekJ1q8kkvt0uRtIkdsQouYlOfTvX3rm_tUKomdPRneyRNxrYGgYu_gtKcEKM4Jsze0BM6ZYYLH/s320/full_ufa-exit-sign.1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Go this way, or become burnt patie".</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
And some exit will add some more directions to avoid confusions.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCCeq52NWI21tmYWGBbPXfSTKcKcgaEGZrIPyiMmh9NK6Cd4xjLdWvRpWDpaKg8pTb-d5nxCMIxuIfBatw0sygCAsIJvrAkAJZO2plqpM9g8luSMwTAcdy4aBrwPBc1OUsqMPN6ZuXMm_Q/s1600/exit5_thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCCeq52NWI21tmYWGBbPXfSTKcKcgaEGZrIPyiMmh9NK6Cd4xjLdWvRpWDpaKg8pTb-d5nxCMIxuIfBatw0sygCAsIJvrAkAJZO2plqpM9g8luSMwTAcdy4aBrwPBc1OUsqMPN6ZuXMm_Q/s320/exit5_thumb.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wait, what?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
And while countries <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2246107/">argue on which standard, universal exit sign to be used</a>, it's never wrong to ask for these exits on certain public vehicles. It pays to know these places.<br />
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<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBOer8a6V3dEwFI_RjRppd79gSpo0tf3ojsDw_XpjxzSko-nK836m9UI838xKv_kS5-qJSVvChExgqP9oBWqpmD5jiV4-tO_A3DbHoQ4Yq3Q_SSpdWkEfCgVk83Mol4oS7GS3ixocP1ohw/s1600/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="368" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBOer8a6V3dEwFI_RjRppd79gSpo0tf3ojsDw_XpjxzSko-nK836m9UI838xKv_kS5-qJSVvChExgqP9oBWqpmD5jiV4-tO_A3DbHoQ4Yq3Q_SSpdWkEfCgVk83Mol4oS7GS3ixocP1ohw/s640/5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Medical information can come in form of documents or records from your clinic. This will help the responding Para-medics and doctors treat you effectively. Because you know, not all medicines can be injected to anyone's system. Some people have strong allergic reactions to some medicines. And the doctors will know that through your medical history.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoe_jh89WXwlfaBMzSaLTqgSFncV6uHqmJIiclOBClwuLwoTTqJGYjusLiDvpFQ2Yy2cOwWo5jrqycXelGYRCO9ChbgS5VUXJNKO837_t2E1UB9DLndLHylu_Al1k8eC5OI56KgOxgl1x4/s1600/the-exorcist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoe_jh89WXwlfaBMzSaLTqgSFncV6uHqmJIiclOBClwuLwoTTqJGYjusLiDvpFQ2Yy2cOwWo5jrqycXelGYRCO9ChbgS5VUXJNKO837_t2E1UB9DLndLHylu_Al1k8eC5OI56KgOxgl1x4/s320/the-exorcist.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A history of demonic-possession would not be counted, though. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8h4xab14C6mrLTYUybAXRSPHNrv1rc1wAEaW8TLpNYD1Q9_5DpYhKQ8PatilWN6lI359K-qI7QRoRB7KipB1p7zUbo3_zcWHrSzx54CHs4t7aAqytqJb_ks_VuXxDgx0mUVHovtj2Lau/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8h4xab14C6mrLTYUybAXRSPHNrv1rc1wAEaW8TLpNYD1Q9_5DpYhKQ8PatilWN6lI359K-qI7QRoRB7KipB1p7zUbo3_zcWHrSzx54CHs4t7aAqytqJb_ks_VuXxDgx0mUVHovtj2Lau/s640/6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<br />
A dust mask, though you really don't wish to use it, will be useful in case an actual explosion occurred in your vicinity and it results to dangerous dust levels and will affect your mobility.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7OvhOa8lKDFO3la6l2FExhJF83QIK-CiQ_iL9XCz6Qi7UfALz1NZO4Ogr8sZdgHuGXhbUiRO2DBGjlfo5mN7NsoTgk6QPyMAqfCon7SalEsYvEobhaxyjs_PptkHOgcgmvQNbZfdC_cq4/s1600/2037402850038546411kXCyiA_fs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7OvhOa8lKDFO3la6l2FExhJF83QIK-CiQ_iL9XCz6Qi7UfALz1NZO4Ogr8sZdgHuGXhbUiRO2DBGjlfo5mN7NsoTgk6QPyMAqfCon7SalEsYvEobhaxyjs_PptkHOgcgmvQNbZfdC_cq4/s320/2037402850038546411kXCyiA_fs.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You also need to be still alive to be able to wear it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Also, dust masks are more helpful in case of chemical attacks, wherein most weapons are dispensed in the air and designed to harm people through inhalation.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6iwIjyAO4vXsIqsRkSjk8Jb3Fs4pwNax4mEuF4B0PJph3OqyvlEVKNgAftgdhVRKlavyibGJWZzfBDhR9dmFc64pHRR8wAV-n3xkw3szbbvLlRqLWa_qx9lEEMkbKRZX383yoWOmAA8eP/s1600/hazmat_suit1278988622.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6iwIjyAO4vXsIqsRkSjk8Jb3Fs4pwNax4mEuF4B0PJph3OqyvlEVKNgAftgdhVRKlavyibGJWZzfBDhR9dmFc64pHRR8wAV-n3xkw3szbbvLlRqLWa_qx9lEEMkbKRZX383yoWOmAA8eP/s320/hazmat_suit1278988622.jpg" width="173" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because a Hazmat suit costs a goddamned P32,000.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwCnb2WDrFdHHsRpj5Bkn44bm3dHXri5Auo6cJPO1z4hB6S0aNblTJ-Ki8aFoo_yIna3SjaJrbvIpM3u4DuQRlGPo3ZJRV50EzLuN49GYo7C2Le6Ndh0YU0n0PCQYRTcbL7nziys7F7oc/s1600/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="439" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwCnb2WDrFdHHsRpj5Bkn44bm3dHXri5Auo6cJPO1z4hB6S0aNblTJ-Ki8aFoo_yIna3SjaJrbvIpM3u4DuQRlGPo3ZJRV50EzLuN49GYo7C2Le6Ndh0YU0n0PCQYRTcbL7nziys7F7oc/s640/7.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Have you seen the line of people in the MRT and LRT stations the day after the EDSA bus bombing?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPwlPrDgMjVpRh5GoOwF2zaS4-mga0bRO6WSI4OD0DpqmwFUQwQru4NJJGxdsqmBuQIZ6VDAwX-FPn6ZDq9WWkLuYBOYaIjc6d3fTMiLAk-VgsTFC1-x3s26-kx-A2oKc1mAXUBFj8VWBp/s1600/line1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPwlPrDgMjVpRh5GoOwF2zaS4-mga0bRO6WSI4OD0DpqmwFUQwQru4NJJGxdsqmBuQIZ6VDAwX-FPn6ZDq9WWkLuYBOYaIjc6d3fTMiLAk-VgsTFC1-x3s26-kx-A2oKc1mAXUBFj8VWBp/s400/line1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If Waldo would hide here, you <i>will never</i> find him.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
The queue had become a lot longer, and looks like it will take like fucking forever to get to the train. And this happened for two, interconnecting reasons:<br />
<br />
First, because of what happened in the EDSA bus incident, people got scared of riding the buses, so they opted to take the trains.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhihl46gSkUQfx9BhQliNueUC20wwm7Ex06fPTMNlx7ZTE3RSYGluDvHM5Q1deqFZK2XKGMFD21WOg1ZgSWQJ6_95Zi2GqNFcYmaiyte5FodnEEzk-5k4gFJNJjPN4FBBhn7PNcIUTVCF-r/s1600/line.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhihl46gSkUQfx9BhQliNueUC20wwm7Ex06fPTMNlx7ZTE3RSYGluDvHM5Q1deqFZK2XKGMFD21WOg1ZgSWQJ6_95Zi2GqNFcYmaiyte5FodnEEzk-5k4gFJNJjPN4FBBhn7PNcIUTVCF-r/s320/line.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">120% of these people are previous bus-riders.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
And second, again, because of what happened in the EDSA bus incident, security on these stations had become way, way tighter than the usual.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGH9Q3M4_9R04tGzkBwJL1mfq_k1qi3kVkHOxUBTMfGD4hn5FCYwhN4XMOtLy4xf0WVZtWEFCEJXYDY5ENx0xUvZbj1WFWyKqWd4eedLc-OzcY4NAmeqBqqyN1rOQnTqCcJnroJYN5pqpp/s1600/line3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGH9Q3M4_9R04tGzkBwJL1mfq_k1qi3kVkHOxUBTMfGD4hn5FCYwhN4XMOtLy4xf0WVZtWEFCEJXYDY5ENx0xUvZbj1WFWyKqWd4eedLc-OzcY4NAmeqBqqyN1rOQnTqCcJnroJYN5pqpp/s320/line3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That includes thoroughly searching your bag's innards.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
By arriving at these stations earlier than the usual, you're making sure the security procedures are being observed without disrupting your schedule, i.e. you won't get late.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgimlizeE81w7rMuTVgZV_je7y3zTNWK_CcaO90VDHg7ks8mFKfflsSfV7oWAt8j1jdIts1LznARI8-Su79pot3Ekrrjf-PQ-p_-v5r4rrchkV2uegCKQGGDXQh5xdN-Ug2Qu8luJfVbsYj/s1600/istockphoto_6718958-late-for-work.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgimlizeE81w7rMuTVgZV_je7y3zTNWK_CcaO90VDHg7ks8mFKfflsSfV7oWAt8j1jdIts1LznARI8-Su79pot3Ekrrjf-PQ-p_-v5r4rrchkV2uegCKQGGDXQh5xdN-Ug2Qu8luJfVbsYj/s320/istockphoto_6718958-late-for-work.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And so you won't look like you've been wrestled by Brock Lesnar.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBCsP71O4TyIIVGst3bC9IPWOr9I16EA1ap4It4xaKSMqFMVBSUbnErCfUwscYtQNXmRnT2AefswFFjaMYi7DNJnNlfsbc6rrE9kNUqXSPfRvXwIAi5MXijlTJVP-VVpy4EZp4_vyIwk9d/s1600/8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="368" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBCsP71O4TyIIVGst3bC9IPWOr9I16EA1ap4It4xaKSMqFMVBSUbnErCfUwscYtQNXmRnT2AefswFFjaMYi7DNJnNlfsbc6rrE9kNUqXSPfRvXwIAi5MXijlTJVP-VVpy4EZp4_vyIwk9d/s640/8.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
We all learned that a cell phone, a Nokia 5310, was attached and used as a detonator for the 81mm mortar at EDSA two days ago.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizq6GWWnJKPN7au5gwUevGPX_P9WLo_EczxYhz6tmlbif6mrtQrR4eL1-i3s7WZlhW2qIsjtvmVK0QtRbHf_UIaWAFwaunnRObsmf8DEM1-vQ6-ZDxh5Sb4ocytJbzXszury7ZUcCUa3jO/s1600/nokia-5310.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizq6GWWnJKPN7au5gwUevGPX_P9WLo_EczxYhz6tmlbif6mrtQrR4eL1-i3s7WZlhW2qIsjtvmVK0QtRbHf_UIaWAFwaunnRObsmf8DEM1-vQ6-ZDxh5Sb4ocytJbzXszury7ZUcCUa3jO/s320/nokia-5310.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nokia 5310. A thing of sophistication, modernism, and improvised explosions.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>But should that mean we must dread cell phones now because they are now utilized to be weapons of mass destruction?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTx_S69KT-3Zlp96cIwRQCYyeOUQ-Qwipx4wUFgvz5NDE0fIk0Zxx9318pEG_KX_c44GTQK_mZEQXwZKf4nOu-RXX365GIxj0TGsKKOZz9MT-44cugvpniKU-Raqmnn1_U3bl0VELFVKr2/s1600/text-messaging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTx_S69KT-3Zlp96cIwRQCYyeOUQ-Qwipx4wUFgvz5NDE0fIk0Zxx9318pEG_KX_c44GTQK_mZEQXwZKf4nOu-RXX365GIxj0TGsKKOZz9MT-44cugvpniKU-Raqmnn1_U3bl0VELFVKr2/s1600/text-messaging.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Weapons of mass destruction our ass." - texters</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="left">Hell no. Because cell phones are the only single device capable of saving multiple lives at any given moment. And you should be having at least one with you.<br />
<br />
We Filipinos have considered cell phones as everybody's staple gadget, along with having a TV and electric fans. And this should be easy for us. In an event of terrorist attack, you can use your cell phone to call emergency numbers, to contact those who are with you in case you've got separated in the chaos, or warn your love ones about the occurring danger.</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd71djlgqyyT8AdQHyjKQchniU5xbVGDz55gGNT6gLMb603R5LTQuK2WbX3MePnENiwDNPncfRo5q3lPdQ0RfO6n729Hp7NZt44neKvSEV8EMLn0H44XlyIPaNiTPaHktF5OWpNBLq7CkO/s1600/9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd71djlgqyyT8AdQHyjKQchniU5xbVGDz55gGNT6gLMb603R5LTQuK2WbX3MePnENiwDNPncfRo5q3lPdQ0RfO6n729Hp7NZt44neKvSEV8EMLn0H44XlyIPaNiTPaHktF5OWpNBLq7CkO/s640/9.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>If the authorities told you that an attack is imminent in a specific area. Believe them. This attack may or may not occur, but believe me, we're better off with the earlier. And if an advisory has been made, please, oh please, don't be a blockhead and attempt to go to these area because you think the Government<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span>is bunch of pussies and going to these dangerous places makes you tough and awesome.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2AyAHb7qgz0dN8jL8IlJov4Aped4mnVYbuaCA24P_ErkYOwwwMtBshNHs52W11t-ox_5dbFk5WtFDQSpPk6qDnZhuZmfD54RTemEG4ndKPXfVB4p2jjVIDvD-i3wfZ_34hKKTDXdQDN6J/s1600/morgue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2AyAHb7qgz0dN8jL8IlJov4Aped4mnVYbuaCA24P_ErkYOwwwMtBshNHs52W11t-ox_5dbFk5WtFDQSpPk6qDnZhuZmfD54RTemEG4ndKPXfVB4p2jjVIDvD-i3wfZ_34hKKTDXdQDN6J/s320/morgue.jpg" width="272" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>There are reasons why these advisories are being announced. That includes intelligent reports or confirmed bomb threats. Also, these warnings will often include avoiding some public transportation, like buses, airplanes, or trains. Again, pay attention to them. This might save your life.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSFXTFqRpBY4D-_4Ge7yExRWyjHoiJFnhGawmg2K2DLBz8fXfGaj-BVnhMlCnTgwn5oHhMe_R-xo51lSMrmWXIaLZ-J_oN9_o4DFPvtPXxMJO0WtVQTZfbHbnIYjy3DgsPEpCNij1RJvA-/s1600/why.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSFXTFqRpBY4D-_4Ge7yExRWyjHoiJFnhGawmg2K2DLBz8fXfGaj-BVnhMlCnTgwn5oHhMe_R-xo51lSMrmWXIaLZ-J_oN9_o4DFPvtPXxMJO0WtVQTZfbHbnIYjy3DgsPEpCNij1RJvA-/s640/why.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I really feel something's going wrong."</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjURtebSmesw60Vn_19yvzvjx5bfwz8Kfb-jVAiu_aU2KfDfnu2oWmmrQ4lewOIEuOoQu8PwY_MdYoPXB6mwVl8PcV-BIHKwFjHJfMpmrG2zLGOUNLiJzyh36LeUt-vUuSSAhJ0CON2c1bs/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjURtebSmesw60Vn_19yvzvjx5bfwz8Kfb-jVAiu_aU2KfDfnu2oWmmrQ4lewOIEuOoQu8PwY_MdYoPXB6mwVl8PcV-BIHKwFjHJfMpmrG2zLGOUNLiJzyh36LeUt-vUuSSAhJ0CON2c1bs/s640/10.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
Since terrorists work on a scarce funding, they have to maximize their bombs and injure the most number of people with a single explosion. And the best time to do it?<br />
<br />
Freaking rush hour.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLhDLHnyn17pswBYC90HGr7LgGQbZW7Yj4kRCfTjGwHozXLzyhlUoIBpYBzwJgYM-C1VDCvDWdyAonNYDp9FrsiGLEcSZMT59I08VLyk43JJCIsmsht_M2CRfIw7nq7b1RIgMYdiaztoCi/s1600/b9ae55f3fcca47fd6ea2fd096d08_grande.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLhDLHnyn17pswBYC90HGr7LgGQbZW7Yj4kRCfTjGwHozXLzyhlUoIBpYBzwJgYM-C1VDCvDWdyAonNYDp9FrsiGLEcSZMT59I08VLyk43JJCIsmsht_M2CRfIw7nq7b1RIgMYdiaztoCi/s320/b9ae55f3fcca47fd6ea2fd096d08_grande.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
The time when the buses and trains are most packed with people teeming to get home, thinking of dinner and TV and getting to rest.<br />
<br />
Looking back, in the evening of February 14, 2005, four people were killed and at least 60 others were wounded when a passenger bus was bombed on EDSA in Makati City.<br />
<br />
On that very same day, a mall in General Santos City and a bus terminal in Davao were also bombed, killing four people more and injuring 36 others.<br />
<br />
This attack came to be known as the Valentine's Day Bombings.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfwaLKCcJDGZ3JXcbPULYiO1EQfB2lAzwZ2VU_Ovz3o0sIhXGjQ5V81FxWcLuonNDIyD8WaYhE3_g-Ok46CG94VRmD-t8wG3C5VrStx2CklbAMqHIyR5_2B672gZ52q_a5oiy34uNmK3ZS/s1600/00001509.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfwaLKCcJDGZ3JXcbPULYiO1EQfB2lAzwZ2VU_Ovz3o0sIhXGjQ5V81FxWcLuonNDIyD8WaYhE3_g-Ok46CG94VRmD-t8wG3C5VrStx2CklbAMqHIyR5_2B672gZ52q_a5oiy34uNmK3ZS/s320/00001509.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Obviously, the guys who did this never mind not having a date on that day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
The explosion went off around 6:30 pm. When the buses were fully packed, and the mall was crowded with people going from work.<br />
<br />
In the recent EDSA bombing, which <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">occurred </span>at two in the afternoon, and the Rizal Day bombing, which went off at around 12 noon, the perpetrators might have messed up their schedule, staging the attacks in the afternoon. Or they might be intending to do so. We have no idea.<br />
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But one thing's for sure, in the terrorists eyes, the more people in a single place, the more chances they have off blowing off the most people, which will <span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">probably </span>mean a raise for them or promotion along their ranks.<br />
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Source: www.ehow.com<br />
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<i><b>Hell, we could almost wish Batman is there to save our day, find out why in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human</a>, or find out how dangerous it during the day in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/sandman.html">Sandman</a>, or during the night in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/note-this-entry-has-been-created_06.html">It</a>. </b></i>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-39349414714250147072011-01-15T08:18:00.041+08:002014-11-07T19:57:53.451+08:00Only Human First Part: Why Batman Is Awesome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Everybody loves Batman. And what's not to love about him? He's got 'em all. Brains, brawn, and a lot of bread. Ever since he started dressing like a bat and kicked criminal's asses back in 1939, the Dark Knight had become Detective Comics' second greatest superhero, scaring the shit out of Gotham City's lawless underbelly.</div>
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Whenever there's a boot kicking a bad guy's head off the panel, that's Batman.</div>
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I can still remember when I was a child in ’91; after a good dinner I would race to the TV every Friday night, turn on the set, and tune in to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman:_The_Animated_Series"><i>Batman: The Animated Series</i></a>, and watch the square-jawed Caped-Crusader beat the crap out of the criminals ruling the otherworldly and noir-like landscape of Gotham City. When other kids of my age are having wet dreams of being Superman, Spider-man, or Captain Planet, I dream of becoming Batman.<br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span>And twenty years later, nothing had changed. After a good dinner I would race to my PC every night, turn on the CPU, and play <a href="http://asia.gamespot.com/batman-arkham-asylum/"><i>Batman: Arkham Asylum</i></a>, and watch the impossibly-ripped Caped-Crusader beat the crap out of the criminals ruling the gritty and dark landscape of Arkham Island.
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And why do I like Batman? Because he's only human, just like the rest of us. Unlike Superman, who is a goddamn Kryptonian, or Green Lantern, who has a godhood sitting on his middle finger, or Thor, who is a motherfucking Norse god, Batman is only a mere mortal. He proved that you don't have to be genetically enhanced to make the criminal underworld piss their pants at the mere mention of your name, or to be an alien to make an entire league of super-powered beings tremble at your presence, especially if one of them is "more powerful than a locomotive" and "faster than a speeding bullet".
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And potential sexual predator, too.</div>
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All it takes is a human being. <span style="line-height: 115%;">When all of media is drowning us how smashing it is to be a mutant, or genetically pre-disposed, Batman reminded me it’s also great to be jsut a common mortal. </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">He's so awesome, a few years back we’ve been flooded with this awe-inspiring quotation from Batman about the epicness of being a man, and how puny Superman will be in front of him. You might have received this through email or text messaging:</span> <span style="line-height: 115%;"></span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">We can imagine the Caped Crusader articulating those words in the Man of Steel’s face, possibly while wearing his kryptonite-encrusted knuckles and kryptonite-ladden kevlar, and at the same time going over the bazzilion of strategies he has in his mental flow </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">chart </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">on how to kick Superman’s ass, just in case the Kryptonian decides to fight back</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">.</span> <span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Did you like the kryptonite-laced <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">burritos,</i> Clark<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">?</i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Though how awesome it might look like, sorry folks, it just never happened, and probably never will. To set the record straight, Batman <i>never</i> said those words. He might be spending each night scaring the shit out of hardened criminals, but he is not really the kind of dude who'll badmouth about his fellow superheroes, not even if he has the tricks up in his dark, braced sleeves to beat the crap out of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every single one of them. </i>Even if that person is Superman.</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"> This happened, though.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">The aforementioned statement came from the movie <i>Angus</i>, a run-of-the-mill and easily forgettable teenage comedy. Angus’ grandfater <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112368/quotes">uttered those lines</a>. But since that movie ranks very high in suckage, we won't further discuss that here.</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">But if Batman is only human, just like the rest of us, that means everyone can dress like a bat, learn some karate, start jumping off rooftops, and beat the shit out of the every criminal in the streets? Right?</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">You can put down the cape and cowl now, dude, and give those batarangs back to your little brother. Because the answer is a resounding no. This is one of the biggest misconception lingering in the comic book nerdom. That if you have a crapload of money, and has a knowledge on some neck-breaking martial arts, then you can be Batman. After all, we belong to</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> the same type of species. <i>Homo Sapiens</i>. Nothing special.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Homo.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Now, we're busting that myth here. Because being Batman is well... not hard. No. Not even difficult. <i>It's hellishly impossible</i>. A</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">s <i>freaking impossible as the rest of the DC Universe</i></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><i> </i></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">And that includes the all-powerful Kryptonian Superman, the lightning-fast Flash, the Amazonian princess Wonder Woman, and Martian Manhunter, who is, well, a martian. Not to mention the Green Lantern, who is some kind of a cosmic police.</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">And why? Because<a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/04/only-human-second-part-how-to-become.html"> it will take more than a human being</a> to wage war single-handedly on crime, corruption, and violence that had overtook and rooted deep for decades in a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gotham_City">city that is trailing it's way straight to decayville</a>, and at the same time juggling a lot of equally malevolent and trigger-happy villains. And did I mention he's running a multi-billion company and </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">doing a lot of detective works with <i>very </i>minimal crime samples</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">?</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Yes. It will take more than just a man to be Batman. Liam Neeson already said that. And man, you don't argue with </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">Liam Neeson</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">. Not ever.</span>
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Because he's a Jedi. And you don't want to mess up with a Jedi.</div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">And how badass </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">in detective work </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">Batman is? Let's take DC seven-issue comic book series<a href="http://www.dccomics.com/graphic-novels/identity-crisis"> <i>Identity Crisis</i></a> for example. In this</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> critically- and highly-acclaimed </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">series, Sue Dibney, the Elongated Man's wife, is mysteriously murdered inside her home by an unknown suspect. Take note that this is a superhero, the equally badass Elongated Man's, wife that we're talking about here. And she's living in a house protected by Kryptonian (Superman's race), Martian (Martian Manhunter's species), and Thanagarian (Hawkman's people) </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">technology, folks who are millennias ahead of us. Which means that even Death himself will have a freaking hard time just to get past inside that house. Let alone murder the superhero's wife.</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">But shit </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">still</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> happened. </span>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the saddest moments in comic book history.</td></tr>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">Meaning that whoever did this must be one hell of an exceptional murderer. Someone that can go through all levels of security that League's combined technology can put up. And not only that. After the murder, a barrage of death threats came over to the super heroes' loved ones, meaning that the killer not only knows who they are without their masks, but is serious as shit in targeting the people close to them.</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">After spending the entire day in sincere mourning, the entire DC world hunted down villainville, while the others scoured the crime scene, doing the autopsy, looking for clues for the suspect's identity. And we're talking about the CSI of superheroes </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">here</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">; Doctor Mid-Nite, Mister Terrific, Oracle, the </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">Elongated Man himself, </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">and other clusterfuck of super dudes helping out to piece this puzzle.</span>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">And Batman? He's locked out in his cave, doing his own investigation<i>. </i></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">Hell, he didn't even bother to attend the funeral. He went straight on tracking down the killer, probably with gnashing teeth and all.</span>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Batcave. Where Batman knows where you live (and what are you having for breakfast).</td></tr>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">And while the others are examining physical evidences, and interrogating other criminals, desperately trying to reach a conclusion but failing time and again at each turn for the past six issues, Batman spends the entire time staring on a bunch of pictures, that includes photos of the crime scene, and a gallery of villains. Possibly acting out in his mind how the whole goddamn thing happened.</span>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We don't know who the guy on the upper-right is, but we're pretty sure he had molested somebody.</td></tr>
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And after a few pages more, shit start turning creepy.
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"And after that, please make our suspect's head explode."</td></tr>
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Yep. That's right. He just freaking figured everything out. While the rest of the other guys are connecting their brains and holding their scalpels and criminal records and magnifying glasses and all, and arriving at virtually nothing, The World's Greatest Detective conveniently zeroed in on the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Loring">real offender of this complex whodunit</a>, with only a stack of pictures on his table, and probably a few cups of Batman Sugarless Coffee. So what the heck happened? Did he developed psychic power over time? Called God? Asked Alfred? We'll all be damned if we know. Just remember, he's the goddamned Batman.
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Thus he alerted the entire League, igniting their anger and vengeance to hunt down the culprit (which they did) and at the same time making them feel miserable and stupid for being a pile of useless investigators, and probably having thoughts of entering "Batman's School of Bad Ass and Very Useful Detectives" for good.
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<b><i>If you enjoyed this article, check out the continuation in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/04/only-human-second-part-how-to-become.html">Only Human Second Part: A Guide On How To Become Batman</a>. Also, check out which weapon should Batman have with him in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/12/goodbye-earth.html">Goodbye Earth</a>, or what his enemies facing him could be feeling in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/first-call.html">First Call</a>.</i></b></div>
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Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-15154275514655035492010-12-29T04:50:00.001+08:002011-01-30T18:45:22.786+08:00Goodbye Earth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvWjC99Qg5X6ukUwkSkGjQa7kQYDocBeKMSP-j8w7mGdui0LxNhAFl9_8p5GyEH4voM-wyiyhoelJn8MV80eFsGpUd6XeUlbs4YmywVQNTsR3qE6I2t0XJlzhBtPpPajOOnPPZd0iozTW/s1600/goodbye+earth1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvWjC99Qg5X6ukUwkSkGjQa7kQYDocBeKMSP-j8w7mGdui0LxNhAFl9_8p5GyEH4voM-wyiyhoelJn8MV80eFsGpUd6XeUlbs4YmywVQNTsR3qE6I2t0XJlzhBtPpPajOOnPPZd0iozTW/s640/goodbye+earth1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Fireworks and firecrackers are indispensable part of the Filipino New Year. No matter what the Government and the DOH will do, they will always fail time and again to get rid of this hundred-year old tradition (except probably if you live in Bancal, Makati, which due to the gas-leak, has already become a three kilometer-wide nuclear fallout waiting to happen). It’s like the turkey to the Americans’ Thanksgiving, or the tomatoes in the La Tomatina Tomato of the Valencians, or in the Catalans (people of Catalonia, Spain)'s case, the defecating Caganer in the Nativity scene.</span></span></div><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, they do have a pooping shepherd.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">And as a part of that, we toured the rustic and untamed (and potentially life-threatening) land of Bocaue, Bulacan, which is like the Mordor of Metro Manila, for our Annual Fireworks Shopping Spree. There we saw the most unusual and the most terrifying names for firecrackers. Some of which are “Bin Laden”, “Granada” (grenade), “Gunaw” (doomsday), and the “Tuna", only to find out that their names we're not all labeling. They really pack some powder and power.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"This thing on my left can make you cease to exist."</td></tr>
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But the one, singular, horrifying portent that we saw made a lasting impression on us. This firecracker they creatively named “GOODBYE EARTH”. The name sent a chill down to our previously-fearless spines. The way the vendor say its name has no sliver of joking or exaggeration , but with gravity and utter humility. And when she finally came out with the aforementioned firecracker, we knew she’s not just talking some shit.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not shown in the picture: bombproof gear worn by vendor .<br />
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</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">See, one could almost be mistaken them for fountains, given their cylindrical shape, tall appearance, and colorful packaging. They look like as if they're ready to splash their lights and color for our eyes to behold. Hell, they're almost designed to disguise as fountains! </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvWjC99Qg5X6ukUwkSkGjQa7kQYDocBeKMSP-j8w7mGdui0LxNhAFl9_8p5GyEH4voM-wyiyhoelJn8MV80eFsGpUd6XeUlbs4YmywVQNTsR3qE6I2t0XJlzhBtPpPajOOnPPZd0iozTW/s1600/goodbye+earth1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvWjC99Qg5X6ukUwkSkGjQa7kQYDocBeKMSP-j8w7mGdui0LxNhAFl9_8p5GyEH4voM-wyiyhoelJn8MV80eFsGpUd6XeUlbs4YmywVQNTsR3qE6I2t0XJlzhBtPpPajOOnPPZd0iozTW/s400/goodbye+earth1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">GOODBYE EARTH.<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">But the similarity ends there. Fountains give colorful fireworks and dazzling shows of light, which will provide any three-year-old the innocent happiness and awesomeness of celebrating New Year. They are almost an essential piece to any family New Year merriment, acting as the grand finale that wraps up the 2-hour jovial festivity of lights and colors. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrarmKQXs3ldEtWJag0vvmTbcLeBd2WtyvNDw7xGyqPxK5a0wLB0lTwT9MHDBoyo6saQG38xqm66vWLU7VJ_I05FYj3ueA10RYPHrLkWn-O4yPI__okBzjKf3Zti-6uht2aR6x-hXx9vi2/s1600/18849_103516019675111_100000501393368_91449_3448305_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrarmKQXs3ldEtWJag0vvmTbcLeBd2WtyvNDw7xGyqPxK5a0wLB0lTwT9MHDBoyo6saQG38xqm66vWLU7VJ_I05FYj3ueA10RYPHrLkWn-O4yPI__okBzjKf3Zti-6uht2aR6x-hXx9vi2/s320/18849_103516019675111_100000501393368_91449_3448305_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal">The GOODBYE EARTH, on the other hand, does not do that. No show of light. No astonishing and colorful dazzles. None of those. And what does this 12-inch tall, 3-feet wide explosive power-filled containers do?<br />
<br />
It just fucking explodes.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGDE-kZ8af_0xZdZTzDE73P8RJ3YwYRmkm5SaB-3HKq60tL5EQXbvJ8L_cTsrlZTRXNOS0kadFshCZ7R4Crngpo_57iH9Snv_IOdOdIeRdpa71ZyPrwGjbMs4RwZcUWfWO5m8nVAMrNl4w/s1600/Untitled.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGDE-kZ8af_0xZdZTzDE73P8RJ3YwYRmkm5SaB-3HKq60tL5EQXbvJ8L_cTsrlZTRXNOS0kadFshCZ7R4Crngpo_57iH9Snv_IOdOdIeRdpa71ZyPrwGjbMs4RwZcUWfWO5m8nVAMrNl4w/s400/Untitled.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And hell, who knows what city-leveling explosion it can do? Just look at that thing. Just a spoonful more of explosive powder and you already need blasting caps for these firecrackers. And probably utilize them to blow up mountains on mining operations. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Which made us think of the numerous and dismal possibilities if ever we fell to the vendor’s frightening sales talk, and made us buy this thing that borders between New Year entertainment and weapon of mass destruction.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And here goes the list!<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">"IF YOU HAVE 'GOODBYE EARTH', MOST PROBABLY..."</div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1) ...you will need a Barangay clearance before you light this up. </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrY_FJShn8PEeGEB_s0xmhrAXAyTy_DCRjMqgRd243Jo9SpY3QxbnLwuTqNKLd90A9A3XRMgHhlqn5gjPNqyfDF9TcB7acBhzAVsJBOi5mPMJUDQ-DBCAbVhwYDYZkcxuxg6jjFh8pwqQd/s1600/Barangay+Clearance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrY_FJShn8PEeGEB_s0xmhrAXAyTy_DCRjMqgRd243Jo9SpY3QxbnLwuTqNKLd90A9A3XRMgHhlqn5gjPNqyfDF9TcB7acBhzAVsJBOi5mPMJUDQ-DBCAbVhwYDYZkcxuxg6jjFh8pwqQd/s320/Barangay+Clearance.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I hereby request to scare the shit out of our peaceful neighborhood...."</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh3L93KcttEuXkoKyf4GjYEeKq4aqTez-UbV3rY0SQUgn7qgin2SbVnKnx-20lpEn_G_fuYIgsKljB_AMyjywd9rSOIq13sS84DGN2FwvgfWds1KrLXEO_zqRk4zX2G6E6q_bBeZK2zr4E/s1600/Barangay+Clearance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">2) ... there should be paramedics standing by.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1OjCqGwNZx73UiKdtSr67HyOB2xQLgavzQHoMubREe2jLeEQQfAsxYdkDsrAcA7YVn0etD4X5XjTBCQW8nmCY96ONDewGDcqNafGoVlaF45hU6it5ioIImQQG1G7_5tdWxAaQufBSrJoy/s1600/paramedics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1OjCqGwNZx73UiKdtSr67HyOB2xQLgavzQHoMubREe2jLeEQQfAsxYdkDsrAcA7YVn0etD4X5XjTBCQW8nmCY96ONDewGDcqNafGoVlaF45hU6it5ioIImQQG1G7_5tdWxAaQufBSrJoy/s1600/paramedics.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"...flying limbs and fingers will be searched for as well!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3)... you need a bunker (or any bombproof shelter) to house the entire family.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisqIazueGZZYsLvXZGtfoLIvLTHCOHPIiOXjY5V6SbrEa_Y572JVipKfAEr8O3Qz2QVHL3fYw97xAFHSZB7Ii1X2flFf9V6CEcxGth-4NVAbHeOs0ZTe21D6RAaSPnzcj8HQJ_xtxoTTm_/s1600/bunker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisqIazueGZZYsLvXZGtfoLIvLTHCOHPIiOXjY5V6SbrEa_Y572JVipKfAEr8O3Qz2QVHL3fYw97xAFHSZB7Ii1X2flFf9V6CEcxGth-4NVAbHeOs0ZTe21D6RAaSPnzcj8HQJ_xtxoTTm_/s320/bunker.jpg" width="258" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In case grandma pooped inside, then you're up against a different bomb. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">4)... you can substitute it for a nautical mine.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBfTUXfWAuufMCVH8nvjQTSThLcIpOk2QoYMU5q2scLhJhMup8tWNXsz2Wvf1FJ5aV-L2qvXhWsKdnAQtO0H1QOKRym6akyeNc8WHk9I78wqjIw6DKU-Nli5TghfrxF6dgfkvahZvo_7n/s1600/seamine02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBfTUXfWAuufMCVH8nvjQTSThLcIpOk2QoYMU5q2scLhJhMup8tWNXsz2Wvf1FJ5aV-L2qvXhWsKdnAQtO0H1QOKRym6akyeNc8WHk9I78wqjIw6DKU-Nli5TghfrxF6dgfkvahZvo_7n/s320/seamine02.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not shown in the picture: sunken ships.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">5) ... there will be a mushroom cloud.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh58WsqmWZ7mD6fwffUuKeSu_I9la2kuI_mNswD5XOUs8fuiOymjuWPZvu9DoHgBLIuv0ofP44EqNFZ4QWBHwKoASpHLsIYiKKM-R0w3RzNCjmhVeezbsdELrw6wl0iMcBvil8RaakFER7o/s1600/explosion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh58WsqmWZ7mD6fwffUuKeSu_I9la2kuI_mNswD5XOUs8fuiOymjuWPZvu9DoHgBLIuv0ofP44EqNFZ4QWBHwKoASpHLsIYiKKM-R0w3RzNCjmhVeezbsdELrw6wl0iMcBvil8RaakFER7o/s400/explosion.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">J. Robert Oppenheimer will not like this deja vu.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">6) ... blasted windows can be expected.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwfATyCfzsif6P2ZfPO8Z6e8k82jKu8E6G3DBetZqUjcysIB00z2PDHOU_nhKSKtxyTfl21SFeQWg4JHxLbzpPTLlJpIhg-REZeixbykBmEKWQ26QFD9AQ_dbAqqXJRay66wxWm_TvPjT/s1600/broken_windows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwfATyCfzsif6P2ZfPO8Z6e8k82jKu8E6G3DBetZqUjcysIB00z2PDHOU_nhKSKtxyTfl21SFeQWg4JHxLbzpPTLlJpIhg-REZeixbykBmEKWQ26QFD9AQ_dbAqqXJRay66wxWm_TvPjT/s320/broken_windows.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"At least we have 16 panes less to clean!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> 7)... the explosion can be seen from space.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxZKq-Y6DLJMo9-qGVCL5Z3OsI4jMyXomHVPwlR9xK3VCG3ZgJt2oBAQSDUu-RqbFgTy2F2lpzf7aV-tCYTqN82ZLrO2PfxbtRBn12QNyCQDDBLhI2DggQDnkpWF9totFa0mE8OImUoR1V/s1600/astronaut.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxZKq-Y6DLJMo9-qGVCL5Z3OsI4jMyXomHVPwlR9xK3VCG3ZgJt2oBAQSDUu-RqbFgTy2F2lpzf7aV-tCYTqN82ZLrO2PfxbtRBn12QNyCQDDBLhI2DggQDnkpWF9totFa0mE8OImUoR1V/s320/astronaut.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> "Houston, did we just nuked North Korea?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">8) ... there will be a crater.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjp6NMHfME_XcpcmYNqF9PhF0ALivhGxpPp2u0yIULE36ditMPjOxAuXt2rtt-XnkD_KelXhOifiPPlO3XIasNzhahGmOWXqYrO3wT1iebnmUuswqlEnard4r2nUXYiOLo4SF8_PQRDuvq/s1600/hole.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjp6NMHfME_XcpcmYNqF9PhF0ALivhGxpPp2u0yIULE36ditMPjOxAuXt2rtt-XnkD_KelXhOifiPPlO3XIasNzhahGmOWXqYrO3wT1iebnmUuswqlEnard4r2nUXYiOLo4SF8_PQRDuvq/s320/hole.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I just saw Satan peeked from below."</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> 9) ... you'll wake up your sleeping friend from two cities away.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw70BqhQ5gXXE7wyzrnjQecZvLCWsDBMliO4fEG0hlysix1MnXeUcfHlCvGFQwqRdbPWBOm9n2OVhqLELNwLPEQARGTXhasibvZMSqNAoDt0roWb36yOZL6TdWJmVLoBzHvkCo9K9hLk_y/s1600/early_morning_wake-up_call.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw70BqhQ5gXXE7wyzrnjQecZvLCWsDBMliO4fEG0hlysix1MnXeUcfHlCvGFQwqRdbPWBOm9n2OVhqLELNwLPEQARGTXhasibvZMSqNAoDt0roWb36yOZL6TdWJmVLoBzHvkCo9K9hLk_y/s320/early_morning_wake-up_call.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hey Harold! It's New Year! Thought you could use a wake up call, so..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">And the infinite possibilities go on and on.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Just recently the DOH already put a ban on GOODBYE EARTH possibly due to the potential hazards hiding in it's cylindrical, explosive-powder packed innards. At least the people from </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Bancal can sleep tight without worrying of the possibility of a guy from Mandaluyong detonating this half-firecracker, half-dynamite thingy. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Be careful and be safe. It's always best to welcome the new year with a complete set of limbs.</span> </span></div>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-26924614304214216472010-11-27T07:49:00.107+08:002013-12-05T15:33:18.795+08:00New Kids On The Tekken Block<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></a></div>
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</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">I played Tekken 6 a few days ago. It is so awesome, it inspired me to watch its movie version. Turns out, the movie sucks. It sucks so much, it inspired me to write a game review about Tekken 6, and totally forget I ever watched the movie at all.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Tekken 6 is laced with a new array of characters, some with potentials, some are unsettling, and some are just plain retarded. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">And for the first time, the game didn’t sacrifice any of those good ‘ol dudes who we had grown up for years. But let’s take a look the game's new recruits.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">In the Tekken Universe, the people populating it are either:</span></span></div>
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<li class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Monsters (</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">imported from South Africa, Australia, Hell, etc</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">.)</span></span><o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">, </span></span></o:p></li>
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span>
<li class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Marshall Arts Dudes (They know how to kick</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">)</span></span></li>
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span>
<li class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Robots (that look like </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Marshall Arts Dudes</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">)</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">With this, we can safely assume any new character will fall to any of these categories. Unless the developers come out with something new like aliens, ghosts, or demon-possessed piñatas. But while those guys decide on that, let's see what the new neighbors of Tekken's newest installment has to offer.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic5lqq7hp9HjhsfZUAGE58MYXhbjy-S_zWSH9Bk2v1SHbYiUVOTGn8UUilG3Yy8mcUNBvXMQx7G-t0kgG4Do3jkAQOhBSt_56XajJE9xJz6I2QZiHtmEHsYx1SLdr8BRMUJhSHOjABhNyP/s1600/tekken+header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic5lqq7hp9HjhsfZUAGE58MYXhbjy-S_zWSH9Bk2v1SHbYiUVOTGn8UUilG3Yy8mcUNBvXMQx7G-t0kgG4Do3jkAQOhBSt_56XajJE9xJz6I2QZiHtmEHsYx1SLdr8BRMUJhSHOjABhNyP/s640/tekken+header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Let’s take a look with a new character aptly named Alisa Bosconovich. She’s cute. She has a pinkishly dyed hair, kinky purple short dress, and a lovely face. Looks like she is always ready to give you a few hugs and balloons in no time.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9tuWLqzEhY6kvUcguN3vOpUfQK0lilsZcKhWx_da2aQP3Xy3osdIP5uAciLvtwnvw5Z8Jz0crVmejKJu5_gKDtVD8yaNmLT9ZrYg32Y3HudZSVHF9p2Q7XORp963E4PowvDMygmY-dl5o/s1600/137069-BESTEVER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9tuWLqzEhY6kvUcguN3vOpUfQK0lilsZcKhWx_da2aQP3Xy3osdIP5uAciLvtwnvw5Z8Jz0crVmejKJu5_gKDtVD8yaNmLT9ZrYg32Y3HudZSVHF9p2Q7XORp963E4PowvDMygmY-dl5o/s400/137069-BESTEVER.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Oh Alisa. Thank you for the HOLY SHIT IT'S A HEAD!!!</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">But when she begins to fight, a different story unfolds. Yes, she’s good. With her blurring speed and over-arching sidekicks and she fights like there will be party right after. But somehow in the middle of the match she starts to jump like she’s flying. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Yes, for all we know, Tekken's characters jump like they have metal wires on their backs attached to the Petronas Tower, or any tall structure for that matter. But hers is kind of different. She has this two pairs of metal rod sticking out of her back every time she does it! And it seems to give her the boost when she’s jumping. So Russian girls these days do that?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">And those metal rods seems to resemble something I’ve seen before.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjff6Fh3fiwourkgPfak1CHxGjB5gn_PTwrlScgI0pKkHpoYIs7FxpVGBMm2E7-KI79KGWoxO_6-deD_1pE2IcJn_91z7KGmeE3Bv0DY3_QvksiuDFkqqxJnfzgR6Pz9bYwlKcQ_FVj9Ya-/s1600/1797682329_e860dbe397_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjff6Fh3fiwourkgPfak1CHxGjB5gn_PTwrlScgI0pKkHpoYIs7FxpVGBMm2E7-KI79KGWoxO_6-deD_1pE2IcJn_91z7KGmeE3Bv0DY3_QvksiuDFkqqxJnfzgR6Pz9bYwlKcQ_FVj9Ya-/s320/1797682329_e860dbe397_z.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Ohh.. right..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">And that’s not all. We expect the girl (actually I, since I'm the one controlling her moves) to finish her opponent (Law, actually) with a graceful roundhouse kick or a beautiful karate punch. But instead, I gave a nice, clean, uppercut. But hey, suddenly a long piece of metal stick out of her fist. It is so fast we failed to see what just happened, until the slow-mo comes-up, and, much to our horror, see what it is: a pair chainsaws.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7-U-jhyvXmMwsLVfeZQJzxDx4BA981oEdor0nUocgo6N7JoMFMTqv1Sd537Y5EU-dDmvHlKaPxXTsPBuOFxPJWHZlzWctjlTSetQ2GZVexKGMjqRu9uOhMgjh6heKjwbcfeVB8oeLeYYQ/s1600/New-Tekken-6-Imagery-Reveals-More-Characters-Maintains-Tekken-6-Wackiness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7-U-jhyvXmMwsLVfeZQJzxDx4BA981oEdor0nUocgo6N7JoMFMTqv1Sd537Y5EU-dDmvHlKaPxXTsPBuOFxPJWHZlzWctjlTSetQ2GZVexKGMjqRu9uOhMgjh6heKjwbcfeVB8oeLeYYQ/s320/New-Tekken-6-Imagery-Reveals-More-Characters-Maintains-Tekken-6-Wackiness.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Why are you even in Tekken? Go to Soul Edge for the love of God!!<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">I’ve seen many a violent features, bloody shows, torture movies, snuff films, and just about anything that will show gut and blood, but I’ve never seen such a horrendous act of forcing a chainsaw under someone's jaw.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">He even never thought it would work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">In my opinion, the fight turned way too violent. And oh, did I mentioned she lost her head in the middle of the fight, and a new one suddenly sprouted? Really. Russians are crazy</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOI-0nu4h1JWKq8HHbCALhpYUTwk3P70KzyC0JhWIczJU_LT8p4gDREvUWYKYXvNCCshx8B-eO1BLL3_h65BJckm6seq3UzIpBK3q7Y9We2Ut54_6V6up2gA9MZnsgIloR1LnHA5sgwdml/s1600/137069-BESTEVER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="440" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOI-0nu4h1JWKq8HHbCALhpYUTwk3P70KzyC0JhWIczJU_LT8p4gDREvUWYKYXvNCCshx8B-eO1BLL3_h65BJckm6seq3UzIpBK3q7Y9We2Ut54_6V6up2gA9MZnsgIloR1LnHA5sgwdml/s640/137069-BESTEVER.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">And also, one of the new characters there is named Zafina. She is a complete mystery. We had so many questions about her. Where'd she came from? What can she do? Is she from Italy? Seriously, her name sounds like Italian cuisine, served alongside </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">bologna, salami, and pesto primavera.</span></i><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgpc7epx6W8YMrYd8PPRlLSOqJ3p1yndEiqIeby4h2P6I9ikHCqh64R8xEliTYkYym_e2zUhox0h8820dG0FYFE0yY5vRTgtaaKm9tj9-6z60r3ijTocxl00v80yNAAvSfTnP7MXL2Mg4z/s1600/waiter-at-service.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgpc7epx6W8YMrYd8PPRlLSOqJ3p1yndEiqIeby4h2P6I9ikHCqh64R8xEliTYkYym_e2zUhox0h8820dG0FYFE0yY5vRTgtaaKm9tj9-6z60r3ijTocxl00v80yNAAvSfTnP7MXL2Mg4z/s1600/waiter-at-service.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No. I ordered for a <i>Zafina. </i>Where's your supervisor?<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"></span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">But turns out, she’s a pretty good fighter. She can kick ass, despite being dressed like an exotic dancer (or she might really be an exotic dancer, we have no idea). She can do back fists and scorpion kicks.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEUJhjRVL1MIrXJKFmDz8Yx4zB00n7w5eDg66-Ke-HlLb4JNgY1Tc46vnB8ynsa-P5L-uQvnf0YDmqY6hRKxSbzhNyPAXXscWeYdqGbHuPJ2Ju8AmjAQSEFVQdLVNk319w1vT894b9zDBv/s1600/Untitled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEUJhjRVL1MIrXJKFmDz8Yx4zB00n7w5eDg66-Ke-HlLb4JNgY1Tc46vnB8ynsa-P5L-uQvnf0YDmqY6hRKxSbzhNyPAXXscWeYdqGbHuPJ2Ju8AmjAQSEFVQdLVNk319w1vT894b9zDBv/s320/Untitled.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">She can also do this. Whatever it is.</span></td></tr>
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</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">She’s fast, her leg kicks and punches come from different places which will make you wonder she might have an extra limb hidden somewhere.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhFRETNWvr9dwnwWxAnWXl_vea67-BqpmcCg3pcDuj3RC3TiVzKu64hyOaRFQEcsOyZyRumI2_BYrvvbMXzTf0ubLCAUXSOFGWCLZkPjkQfDFf0lbQ8TnHXYJqdkLIp4rRQ2zuXK5xzdrN/s1600/tekken+header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhFRETNWvr9dwnwWxAnWXl_vea67-BqpmcCg3pcDuj3RC3TiVzKu64hyOaRFQEcsOyZyRumI2_BYrvvbMXzTf0ubLCAUXSOFGWCLZkPjkQfDFf0lbQ8TnHXYJqdkLIp4rRQ2zuXK5xzdrN/s640/tekken+header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">One newbie that has good potential there is that kid named Leo. Your average kid, in early teens, sporting regular jeans, collegiate jacket, and a scarf. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNwrZ0tkDKlryOe6ds4CQ1mnRc6yKMbwI9DKTP1a2cknVMVfaALKEyW5JzL947Qh7e_W5vyDR9rxKJRrvcevW0Vthr4jjii4kNRLzgayJk0sVQ8GO2uhyphenhyphenwhboktU1mmeVgsZcarMfBiEp-/s1600/Tekken_6_wallpaper_Leo_1_by_nin_er.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Se_DW5_LciGvLxmTIErClnAqKk28kstp9_8WaQBA_xCxxbZBWBSKriiMPcNku_EY-xt8DsfTe_4TcshvdhkY1m0VF_cXPhZSxABqEzcLVlg5avGfcEcmooCSe220pWShvO0Lt_UTsxAs/s1600/leo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Se_DW5_LciGvLxmTIErClnAqKk28kstp9_8WaQBA_xCxxbZBWBSKriiMPcNku_EY-xt8DsfTe_4TcshvdhkY1m0VF_cXPhZSxABqEzcLVlg5avGfcEcmooCSe220pWShvO0Lt_UTsxAs/s320/leo.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">So what? I'm the most stylish guy here... or girl, or whatever.</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">So is this a guy or what? I know you’re wondering, actually, the rest of the 3 million Tekken fans around the world are asking the same question. Except probably in Japan, where girls act like boys and boys look like girls. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxw7LYzo-bkBkZ7coT4o7uQtQH3u7kpGX52dvCLUr2_kdUmVtfMymEiwhjfAgCphSFbP6dnuzmr9GDScpmK05bu8jW5J39SUwR68zyQcklud9cd1k_QIgZwszmqX054jebafqtH0-kQdAq/s1600/visualkei.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxw7LYzo-bkBkZ7coT4o7uQtQH3u7kpGX52dvCLUr2_kdUmVtfMymEiwhjfAgCphSFbP6dnuzmr9GDScpmK05bu8jW5J39SUwR68zyQcklud9cd1k_QIgZwszmqX054jebafqtH0-kQdAq/s400/visualkei.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Japan's primary exports are animes, wagyu beef, and <i>gender uncertainty.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Leo has a short hair, a feminine face, a gender-neutral style of clothing, a flat chest, a girl's voice, and a guy’s name. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Which again, harks me back to someone I’ve seen on TV with the very same attributes.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguAgTxMj8YRXUvpxkA1UZPGx-I18rOUARxH1JMYmzgtHer964qFbOsIsbIW1VbE-qafJ-Oofn0nc3RpjYUU-DXhsrKIiqwVsjDRByeCTQRgjIb4I8DhkylXf0B4nLhuT-OdjnsDWpVyVR2/s1600/kurt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguAgTxMj8YRXUvpxkA1UZPGx-I18rOUARxH1JMYmzgtHer964qFbOsIsbIW1VbE-qafJ-Oofn0nc3RpjYUU-DXhsrKIiqwVsjDRByeCTQRgjIb4I8DhkylXf0B4nLhuT-OdjnsDWpVyVR2/s1600/kurt.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">At least he came out. Saved us the headache.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">The Tekken 6 Official website (which Wikipedia will subsequently steal some information from), actually never made it clear about the kid’s gender. Yes, there is a three-paragraph description of the character, but it actually never used any of the gender-related pronouns (he, she, his, her) to give us a clue, but instead replaced it with the kid’s name like </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Leo was...</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">, or </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Leo decided..., or </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">...Leo's mother</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">. It uses the kid's name ridiculously so much that it will be hard to forget his/her name again. Ever.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFmrtrBzPsztiiTUMhJTAH2FeK7XQ4OP_MtYy7LVIHXmne4qfI0f2zKBd-NKUb110ThInb0lnGyP5pBQzbEqST56uyuhXOdXweBkwgsQyx0aEjy19Fpbu3yYoO8CeDt9lgkm8OOIO0zVsL/s1600/woman-is-talking-to-a-guy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFmrtrBzPsztiiTUMhJTAH2FeK7XQ4OP_MtYy7LVIHXmne4qfI0f2zKBd-NKUb110ThInb0lnGyP5pBQzbEqST56uyuhXOdXweBkwgsQyx0aEjy19Fpbu3yYoO8CeDt9lgkm8OOIO0zVsL/s320/woman-is-talking-to-a-guy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, I'm Leo. I think I have a different name before...</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSH1Vz7kbdyMMtZnvu1NXEargfSIh8wUYt0XHBxFwjgJia5mKypm8P4bUUAqUMGVUY9iGs_Cd4ReV9my8KiI2xN5gbbo82IXIkIM0jZgBpiGfQMtxDLQ5P7IzwpGE8Uonw4ZbvoUwDNAKa/s1600/camp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">The kid is good. Blurring speed, good counter attacks, and connecting combo moves, fighting his/her way to complete victory while being extremely confused.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpgSDRxE193m36mJbnswruY0B0OcF1coRQwxu5yeW6skV9puhTC07paBTcXyNEbeOIjM6CeTVCnjl4Dy7qVoEAuwtgkNaEsuhMpzC0ZkDGjPwII9xFkWpFVW5LzxhEvClWoecKUbS0nvIX/s1600/tekken+header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpgSDRxE193m36mJbnswruY0B0OcF1coRQwxu5yeW6skV9puhTC07paBTcXyNEbeOIjM6CeTVCnjl4Dy7qVoEAuwtgkNaEsuhMpzC0ZkDGjPwII9xFkWpFVW5LzxhEvClWoecKUbS0nvIX/s640/tekken+header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Robert Richards represents the 10 million people of the world's entire population. Yes, he is obese, morbidly obese. He breaths heavily, holds on to his chest every fifteen seconds, and kept a stringent diet of French fries, burgers, bacon, milkshakes, donuts, and probably infants.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZO5ZhgyyxzH-P6RBfuxfnaSEwc1E5mFq14v7iqieCH-QtFGWfB-og5SO5v_W0IdC0r_TlPDHch9G_QLKxCpVBCjgtvPBnsvebGhCJZfp3vlOB0Np4w-qbFF4gUmspcpz7VlWMfNm1stl_/s1600/651504-800px_bob_versus_bryan_fury__tekken_6__super.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZO5ZhgyyxzH-P6RBfuxfnaSEwc1E5mFq14v7iqieCH-QtFGWfB-og5SO5v_W0IdC0r_TlPDHch9G_QLKxCpVBCjgtvPBnsvebGhCJZfp3vlOB0Np4w-qbFF4gUmspcpz7VlWMfNm1stl_/s400/651504-800px_bob_versus_bryan_fury__tekken_6__super.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't let the organic vending machine flying kick y-... Aaww.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">He might be a glaring warning intended for overeating kids, but Bob is more than an overweight guy. He's fast, if you know what I mean. He's what-hell-happened-he just-knocked-me-down fast, or I-just-woke-up-this-morning-to-find-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">that-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">my-company-is-not-mine-anymore fast. He's that fast. Quick moves, significant damages, fighting finesse, and combo's that can keep continuing until last remains of your dignity went out. Those are what define Bob. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNGVPU1Nr2D4ebTc7OrDqE7O53AA_rpX0bgBMkOeQJAG6MAOJc022cX1WOuVjCLjWkv4CIF7lfJhNzMYOg8KZQ-j_46ygUVZreT4__up4gcb0n1OePAJ9eBoxDCzwstXaPwWrwDx_Eu9RK/s1600/home-made-burger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNGVPU1Nr2D4ebTc7OrDqE7O53AA_rpX0bgBMkOeQJAG6MAOJc022cX1WOuVjCLjWkv4CIF7lfJhNzMYOg8KZQ-j_46ygUVZreT4__up4gcb0n1OePAJ9eBoxDCzwstXaPwWrwDx_Eu9RK/s320/home-made-burger.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">These also define him.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Probably the only reason why his character didn't make it to the Tekken movie is because finding a fat actor that can fight in Bruce Lee's speed is equivalent to making Paris Hilton do a non-pathetic, convincing acting. It's just freaking impossible.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQmTrPYtWdiN-5JWhAol72dBnwGyAkuaH7C9Vv2v7g_OisPSclfzJjxWCksZJBLbyuAvfbj7mVU_P3qhbk0t-tQubSDzoh7n-NTT80d14i56kA0Z6M6bHpY8c01x-j8fUxr9J6FRCrpM08/s1600/camp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQmTrPYtWdiN-5JWhAol72dBnwGyAkuaH7C9Vv2v7g_OisPSclfzJjxWCksZJBLbyuAvfbj7mVU_P3qhbk0t-tQubSDzoh7n-NTT80d14i56kA0Z6M6bHpY8c01x-j8fUxr9J6FRCrpM08/s400/camp.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At least now we know who inspired whom.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdu9nPSXGY0VYtsWFkGmetVvpDr6_CTFzSeSxC8y22lMblWxjeoANAIIIU8_JYgyktNR5QDj6N2rzIM21HmTdFyrGFTTBGdcs71-ykeVnP4SX6pQVgtBH78vGHAlJ7TYoeAH-5UGvrHNc6/s1600/camp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdu9nPSXGY0VYtsWFkGmetVvpDr6_CTFzSeSxC8y22lMblWxjeoANAIIIU8_JYgyktNR5QDj6N2rzIM21HmTdFyrGFTTBGdcs71-ykeVnP4SX6pQVgtBH78vGHAlJ7TYoeAH-5UGvrHNc6/s640/camp.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Now, let's go to the installment's another tender foot. Miguel Caballero Rojo is a guy who is probably from Spain, who is probably a bullfighter before, and probably knows how to fight.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7tJWA8uSWkmwR-ozF6NsFrFbE2iiqTO-BHMlWmPkXcjWl_jFwsk64npqYlKnc0REPBGri-jw6DFScXMVuR1TpcjVxR4obRBQuq3wxdxvkrettS3HqhQaNLsbQvubsWEHswgHjveTLbRqi/s1600/Bull%252BFighter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7tJWA8uSWkmwR-ozF6NsFrFbE2iiqTO-BHMlWmPkXcjWl_jFwsk64npqYlKnc0REPBGri-jw6DFScXMVuR1TpcjVxR4obRBQuq3wxdxvkrettS3HqhQaNLsbQvubsWEHswgHjveTLbRqi/s320/Bull%252BFighter.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A deleted scene from Tekken 6.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">If you'll ask me what his fighting style is. Hell if I know. He fights like how your uncle will fight the guy he caught porking his wife. But hey, you can't blame Miguel. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">He doesn't freagin' have anything to do with any of this in the first place. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">He's just some Spanish guy whose sister was killed when the Mishima Corporation bombarded the church on her wedding day. Because you know, they really, really like explosions.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr3YQUf4kPj7P8cr_wMzL0IWTEV0cSrS2hASGW7D300fNI140lgMA-TTkq48jVHAcE56To9vdT5AT8yVUA_A2egfouBhcQSGuTx09ibEjwEEPPGMzjnFAdUP-xrdvG1Lg_ElqhVu61mOaq/s1600/508759.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr3YQUf4kPj7P8cr_wMzL0IWTEV0cSrS2hASGW7D300fNI140lgMA-TTkq48jVHAcE56To9vdT5AT8yVUA_A2egfouBhcQSGuTx09ibEjwEEPPGMzjnFAdUP-xrdvG1Lg_ElqhVu61mOaq/s320/508759.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We haven't blown up any shit yet since five seconds ago. This is unacceptable.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">So he joins the Tekken tournament, hoping to face Jin Kazama, and thus exact vengeance on those who are responsible.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpuyQRGfE3s5FRRLzmXYR3AV5e_tPJ9tvSq8f31Prj8t6-kN_dIUtZcj9Ji6cRi08b4l0HnAgZ76NkL1ajo6E8XnjjNy4Sdj8O_U5PUsZkMGE425mIt-2EXOJ8QYTIz4aJlxxDQSaVhsw7/s1600/Miguel_versus_Raven_-_Tekken_6_Bloodline_Rebellion_-_PSP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpuyQRGfE3s5FRRLzmXYR3AV5e_tPJ9tvSq8f31Prj8t6-kN_dIUtZcj9Ji6cRi08b4l0HnAgZ76NkL1ajo6E8XnjjNy4Sdj8O_U5PUsZkMGE425mIt-2EXOJ8QYTIz4aJlxxDQSaVhsw7/s400/Miguel_versus_Raven_-_Tekken_6_Bloodline_Rebellion_-_PSP.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And all he got is Wesley Snipes.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">But we can't downplay the guy. He's the only new character that made it to the Tekken movie, played by an actor named... no, we didn't even bother to find out.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaqUHHyw8IAeJAFOLhuelLGpkYq8aYDpF_Ad_6LFrDxquiA-Ur219nPMhmRe7pnUaEU41Gh9LoctPVPkCDbZKSLvTCXfrS30nay9kTM2h8bjuNWfWrNQgkjQ81CX5AdAbVDeOrXk1NYrLX/s1600/huerta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaqUHHyw8IAeJAFOLhuelLGpkYq8aYDpF_Ad_6LFrDxquiA-Ur219nPMhmRe7pnUaEU41Gh9LoctPVPkCDbZKSLvTCXfrS30nay9kTM2h8bjuNWfWrNQgkjQ81CX5AdAbVDeOrXk1NYrLX/s1600/huerta.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do you have any idea what untapped, potential talent this guy possesses? Neither do we. </td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpzEA4gI-_-soYN6ysBMNOShkdeKobJY9RbAGrLoQD5d_eRTyEejzzKOrtkscZzQcUmLG7dSW1iuP9OWvdm8aZCZqb4xpTpueLT5Nkt1TfawUseecenAkgxXtBYSSj_MeIfEN1Ib3lCi-X/s1600/tekken+header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="464" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpzEA4gI-_-soYN6ysBMNOShkdeKobJY9RbAGrLoQD5d_eRTyEejzzKOrtkscZzQcUmLG7dSW1iuP9OWvdm8aZCZqb4xpTpueLT5Nkt1TfawUseecenAkgxXtBYSSj_MeIfEN1Ib3lCi-X/s640/tekken+header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">One character that interests me the most is this guy named Lars Alexandersson. Lars is the leader of the rebels who defected from the Mishima Corporation. He dons a red armor, a lion head protruding from his breastplate, a three-piece cape, and topped with a spiky, immovable hair, which makes us wonder how does the rebels take him seriously with that kind of costume.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2ySndZ9pu34wLCY0vk1WFsD0t_i1e-GwFTbsz4lbW_06XjGxbkQ78iJyafUPI2u7Lt8tPIvQ3QtHW9osiEgNzqHWw_sGXJ-65seBTH9l26qPblVRAb7t5fOwPsTFOx5R1LzxowT-ZpAre/s1600/lars-t6intro.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2ySndZ9pu34wLCY0vk1WFsD0t_i1e-GwFTbsz4lbW_06XjGxbkQ78iJyafUPI2u7Lt8tPIvQ3QtHW9osiEgNzqHWw_sGXJ-65seBTH9l26qPblVRAb7t5fOwPsTFOx5R1LzxowT-ZpAre/s400/lars-t6intro.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lars, a few seconds before he joined his back-up dancers.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">But it's not what makes him unique. The thing is, our first encounter with his guy is not even in Tekken 6. Let's rewind back the time to a few days ago, when we are trying our skills in that another addicting fighting game called </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO_yh0_Vn0EE6Bl8Sf0atVslGOv2YcWL6sZarPejcQqm5lcoAyL008UzW5P8-MvxKeuZie5RUn28H2ua6c4bKYXAwzRNmMWSlVFCvUJI7n6sTGsDa-bRoHMHN3EzVJ7cqmWKO2uVyFXJA0/s1600/B-Wings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO_yh0_Vn0EE6Bl8Sf0atVslGOv2YcWL6sZarPejcQqm5lcoAyL008UzW5P8-MvxKeuZie5RUn28H2ua6c4bKYXAwzRNmMWSlVFCvUJI7n6sTGsDa-bRoHMHN3EzVJ7cqmWKO2uVyFXJA0/s1600/B-Wings.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We gave up on B-Wings.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Almost all of the main characters has been unlocked, from Ten-Ten to Neji to Teen Naruto to Pain, even Yondaime Hokage is drafted. But one final character hasn't been unlocked yet, and all excitement has been made due to this easter egg. Is it the First Hokage? Or the Second? Could be the Third? Sabusa? White Fang? All guesses. You name it, we've made it. </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHKymzEf2vEpoyyTJsaKX5kwJGiMI68QY-jnIYW9nlnvtW9JI-GDDbH3pIWU9pQYi3ooGzy-i6tbiPHwPD_U_pKrEzhxn8J3a5GjxaCcOagKfSKVu3SR6LkanN5kLhfBWvWDeYZJSHc1QF/s1600/320px-Sexy_Jutsu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHKymzEf2vEpoyyTJsaKX5kwJGiMI68QY-jnIYW9nlnvtW9JI-GDDbH3pIWU9pQYi3ooGzy-i6tbiPHwPD_U_pKrEzhxn8J3a5GjxaCcOagKfSKVu3SR6LkanN5kLhfBWvWDeYZJSHc1QF/s1600/320px-Sexy_Jutsu.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We won't deny we actually hoped for her.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Finally , it is unlocked. Much to our surprise. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Yes. It's </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Lars.</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM2AGUl_aua_2SA8L7asRd1GK5jYUm4KWX7DZhbQUWN1Tc2EdzXimcOfYTU_FLhNq55_qdovE5TbAfwB4NhCirE0sRuDIJJZZpj5vOZyi5D05Qt_0ruN2lmo3Merjf11vhgfMCVIyDNaKB/s1600/naruto-ultimate-ninja-storm-2-20100722024509556_640w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM2AGUl_aua_2SA8L7asRd1GK5jYUm4KWX7DZhbQUWN1Tc2EdzXimcOfYTU_FLhNq55_qdovE5TbAfwB4NhCirE0sRuDIJJZZpj5vOZyi5D05Qt_0ruN2lmo3Merjf11vhgfMCVIyDNaKB/s640/naruto-ultimate-ninja-storm-2-20100722024509556_640w.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm Lars Alexandersson. And I don't know what am I doing heeeere!!!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Why the hell is</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> Lars Alexandersson here?</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> He is too gay to be in Naruto! (At that moment, we completely forgot the fact that Sai is in the line-up) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">He has this red dress and some yellow shirt under, and long hair tied into some crescent-like finial. </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Ns6dvU8PHo1MhuZtaRBJvpt76inPCebHaQ33OxT_8YTPsZ0rh8wYDo-EBNK7R3seXYEwbP7hBdZ6kh8kYxuSdAUqPmnsugNfniXfineIrzaMNq3W1Z-Wstn78jCDI7TOFb__pSuCrN6H/s1600/Lars_Alexandersson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Ns6dvU8PHo1MhuZtaRBJvpt76inPCebHaQ33OxT_8YTPsZ0rh8wYDo-EBNK7R3seXYEwbP7hBdZ6kh8kYxuSdAUqPmnsugNfniXfineIrzaMNq3W1Z-Wstn78jCDI7TOFb__pSuCrN6H/s400/Lars_Alexandersson.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What? I found geisha life boring.<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Is </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Lars</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> a flamboyant ninja in his previous life? Favoring homo-erotic costumes? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Turns out, he is bonus playable character and is a part of a crossover with the Tekken franchise. So this dude is not really your </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">average Japanese back-up dancer, but a recurring actor as well. We're hoping for his another appearance on the latest version of Tetris, he can serve as mortar to those falling bricks.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOeXK0aqcWvBhUmtSUkbupY7lCFEZfbW8S-fy1dJD1DcL0ebjSjr-BV8_pW58e_dOmhKwB4jFHlmcHIzDLu2MgJb1SPiS-CM5B6N3-9j78FKXe6szOSRK83TgRjkWTmRxbmZiAGySTCX3S/s1600/Funny-tetris-involved-pics21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOeXK0aqcWvBhUmtSUkbupY7lCFEZfbW8S-fy1dJD1DcL0ebjSjr-BV8_pW58e_dOmhKwB4jFHlmcHIzDLu2MgJb1SPiS-CM5B6N3-9j78FKXe6szOSRK83TgRjkWTmRxbmZiAGySTCX3S/s400/Funny-tetris-involved-pics21.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quick! He's moving away!!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">We're done with the good guys, I need to leave out Jack-6 from the list, because an old character with a new color scheme and </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">a new number in its name </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">is hardly new at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">So let' take a look at the bad assess. We didn't get to play them. They're are just unlockable characters. Meaning these bad guys' only job is to make other people's lives miserable. Beating you over and over again until you question your own purpose in life.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLylacKuFPvFUOmKUZ7G9r7qZa3ZHcDE0-4Vwm6PwLbGQPfcy7-saER99dkbFvnMYlbyIB72jYDDjxp_Xs9NgDJsKomFUVsk2y2cztyPNIxqm9XODkhEeBF04FBw1ljFIbICXVPPz1m-Re/s1600/tekken+header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="432" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLylacKuFPvFUOmKUZ7G9r7qZa3ZHcDE0-4Vwm6PwLbGQPfcy7-saER99dkbFvnMYlbyIB72jYDDjxp_Xs9NgDJsKomFUVsk2y2cztyPNIxqm9XODkhEeBF04FBw1ljFIbICXVPPz1m-Re/s640/tekken+header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Tekken had used an array of bosses in the past. Monsters, the dead, and Satan. But with Tekken 6, they had upped the ante. This time, you're going to fight a god.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVtdnGq6dtieEiP7kX81Yn6XdhMucOw5oM0oH7ofnUvK6Vg11Br1LZOwjf3r-4zvIUAiQClHZqQ37r8vfeAlv82-pgtsHTnE0T8PmsL9FDP-yA1gT1yjjLNkrM7A7zT3jUD3mt-TF0WEMd/s1600/huerta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVtdnGq6dtieEiP7kX81Yn6XdhMucOw5oM0oH7ofnUvK6Vg11Br1LZOwjf3r-4zvIUAiQClHZqQ37r8vfeAlv82-pgtsHTnE0T8PmsL9FDP-yA1gT1yjjLNkrM7A7zT3jUD3mt-TF0WEMd/s320/huerta.jpg" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jesus. It's Jesus, isn't it?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Meet Azazel. P</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">art god, part demon, part mythical beast, and 150 percent menacing motherfucking bastard.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm3UXBBzsdyDDmr3bOvdsug5Sff7RDgixGEt-npHV4iIEYeYxLpTFMBO6dD6ZADwry4cNcRZqA25cI9FTrq8RdC164zi2uPSPJj_NbxZIg6aYj6Y_limWQTcc_JoHaGzKkSM-i1oQnLf1T/s1600/azazel_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm3UXBBzsdyDDmr3bOvdsug5Sff7RDgixGEt-npHV4iIEYeYxLpTFMBO6dD6ZADwry4cNcRZqA25cI9FTrq8RdC164zi2uPSPJj_NbxZIg6aYj6Y_limWQTcc_JoHaGzKkSM-i1oQnLf1T/s400/azazel_1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Azazel" is Hebrew word for "Shit bricks and die".</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">His array of kick-ass techniques include a powerful stun attack (similar to Jinpachi Mishima), and eye lasers (similar to Devil Jin, Devil, and Angel). He also appears to have the ability to summon boulders from the ground and set them on his opponents. He can also summon scarabs made of ice to attack opponents. So if you don't have the three years experience worth of playing Tekken prerequisite, you don't stand a chance against this 9-foot tall demon who for some reason knows karate.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9KdBj_W-3VnmugdH4_RnWhfHyoh5dEIsR1zQd-3KU3eijlUQ9v_3I9C2tDvpcYVE289oKK6PaAf8T5El0XyPLxoDEJDdDR9zqnOsNF_cBL8AjIAqE5MOWdW6-B_4nZers6SVKKR1Z-KMk/s1600/boobs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9KdBj_W-3VnmugdH4_RnWhfHyoh5dEIsR1zQd-3KU3eijlUQ9v_3I9C2tDvpcYVE289oKK6PaAf8T5El0XyPLxoDEJDdDR9zqnOsNF_cBL8AjIAqE5MOWdW6-B_4nZers6SVKKR1Z-KMk/s320/boobs.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We haven't formulated yet the perfect technique for Azazel. So here's a picture of boobs. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">And this demon is fairly good in using his techniques. Big damages (he will step on you), great blows (he'll slap you with fingers as big as your thigh), and destructive rolls (just imagine that thing rolling on you), plus a crushing depression due to defeat. The chance of surviving Azazel in one piece is as big as winning a fist fight with Chuck Liddell tomorrow. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCZT4JF-QNMf5iiRy9F9JAERd0AjCX9iAU2KR8C9VnmM5hcywoSj94RJfiyDsPOsAbRxoE1chRSWZqyx5qrgpZhXz8w-n_sHLJZcUz_97c1qONEJi0WtmQR-BVaPgL0kv1QPnKz5OkURO/s1600/tekken+header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCZT4JF-QNMf5iiRy9F9JAERd0AjCX9iAU2KR8C9VnmM5hcywoSj94RJfiyDsPOsAbRxoE1chRSWZqyx5qrgpZhXz8w-n_sHLJZcUz_97c1qONEJi0WtmQR-BVaPgL0kv1QPnKz5OkURO/s640/tekken+header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">We don't know what to make up of NANCY-MI847J. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">She is an elephantine security robot made up of metal, moving parts, anguish, and probably screams of little children. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Fortunately, she is only a Bonus Boss, available only in Arcade Mode and Time Attack Mode as a bonus round. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmmGUcX5xn2GK0qXXJnsa0MY-bsbg_UZx9E1fnYAUk69n0EGZYxxj5AMMDEgSKsaYZ3b3E07vyy8YAvW-UOh-lcXN-kitf6rSuqtKGxOmV_kKjohVy-TLILCBY6vECVijgZcaqCi1vRWVD/s1600/ohayo_fid7_200911081600410_original.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmmGUcX5xn2GK0qXXJnsa0MY-bsbg_UZx9E1fnYAUk69n0EGZYxxj5AMMDEgSKsaYZ3b3E07vyy8YAvW-UOh-lcXN-kitf6rSuqtKGxOmV_kKjohVy-TLILCBY6vECVijgZcaqCi1vRWVD/s400/ohayo_fid7_200911081600410_original.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh my God she's coming! Call the back up! And Batman!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">So we can assume that the guys at Namco think that the only way to amplify the </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">already fear-inspiring visage of </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">a soul-less killing machine with weapons that waste human lives and metal hands that crush skulls crying for mercy is to aptly name it "Nancy". </span><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nancy, a few seconds before you cried in agony.<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;"></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Whatever it is, NANCY-MI847J is one heck of a boss, second only to Azazel in its ego-crushing evilness. you might say she fights in a very awkward manner and laugh at her. But she'll step on you, shoot you with guns. fire laser beams, launch rockets, and, as if she hasn't punished you enough, she'll smash you with it's five-foot-thick metal fists. By the time the Continue screen gives the countdown, you are already contemplating if at some point your parents had raised you very well.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWARZ25IFIssgCles9fuJtN0r6urRyDAhyphenhyphen5bZ1vSEh86B-kmMtL6QdlUigQS1eVO328KwMi5p2bV050yaOD7DyV458QLYcyEQ1CBlBeRSTV0CCtjSntSfKKo75SPb1Scy418xtikaq9G4e/s1600/guy_crying1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWARZ25IFIssgCles9fuJtN0r6urRyDAhyphenhyphen5bZ1vSEh86B-kmMtL6QdlUigQS1eVO328KwMi5p2bV050yaOD7DyV458QLYcyEQ1CBlBeRSTV0CCtjSntSfKKo75SPb1Scy418xtikaq9G4e/s320/guy_crying1.jpg" width="261" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do I even worth anything?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Tekken 6's new dudes spells awesomeness in their own rights. Yes, the tenured ones are as great as they were, but these new recruits add more depth, brilliance, and spice to the already great and evolving storyline of the Tekken series.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">And when I say great, it's the storyline that defines their six-year rule of being one of the greatest 3D fighting game franchise in the history of gaming. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Which brings us to the question: Why, in their right minds, did they let that freaking movie come out?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-2fs9sET_ASKX-qugDpnJz7yMYHwdwKVA88MulOqwpujbRFsIQTjxdCXhqJUJsmdUncjH0rlh0M3nlNFPq5SEsAV8X5h3M76TJsNZMoTVu8V1rPJWZPyRfjgsG16i0u2_2KHbEuGyhof2/s1600/huerta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-2fs9sET_ASKX-qugDpnJz7yMYHwdwKVA88MulOqwpujbRFsIQTjxdCXhqJUJsmdUncjH0rlh0M3nlNFPq5SEsAV8X5h3M76TJsNZMoTVu8V1rPJWZPyRfjgsG16i0u2_2KHbEuGyhof2/s320/huerta.jpg" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Admit it, this could have been more cool.</td></tr>
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Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-76168600789154008762010-10-31T08:40:00.008+08:002011-08-03T16:58:20.160+08:00Stargazers Under The Starless Skies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhueqKTiDMwRTJorTbl8nC95gGcR1TDuR7wLTGhXaVNrNIxv2HzrIgMFJlaUyQ-wu1eOrZoRG_8ELV7i9szdbZM-qNygKrCp90c36Snl3LM9bKSTSt2Vr5thZCGDsRvulcawYVScgP4it8Q/s1600/stargazing_elf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="531" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhueqKTiDMwRTJorTbl8nC95gGcR1TDuR7wLTGhXaVNrNIxv2HzrIgMFJlaUyQ-wu1eOrZoRG_8ELV7i9szdbZM-qNygKrCp90c36Snl3LM9bKSTSt2Vr5thZCGDsRvulcawYVScgP4it8Q/s640/stargazing_elf.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGVwDbr5OQJM3cf60fyfXrmeVhoZJx2TP9LBENP8TTKe7Z8xmFzeuGCBTQqYDvRlE3HvkyOLkgAHKd5S_l5FSUB0LOqSlIHzXww8sCHIC1Jnh_5PAGh6KBHZikMF4j4LaiHFg5C4QC6Tcr/s1600/200163794-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><br />
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<i>“When your ring, middle, and index finger all perfectly lined up, you know you’re looking at Orion’s belt.”</i><br />
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We've been there for hours. This girl and I. Lying on the mildly damp Bermuda grasses that had been meekly moisten by the feeble evening rain. Pondering on things within, and not within, the confines of our comprehension. Looking at the vast and dark night sky dotted with stars whose names we had already forgotten or perhaps never knew at all. The weak rain had just passed, and the clouds gave way to the countless luminaries and the constellations they form across the sky. The Big Dipper ready to catch the stream from the water-bearing Aquarius. Cancer sneaking behind Gemini, trying to pluck its feet. Mighty Orion itching to shoot Leo with his arrows to the north. She just taught me how to locate Orion.<br />
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She has a blank stare. Glancing on that black ceiling laden with celestial Christmas lights. Her stare is always different from mine. And her perspective is not even the same. Not with me. Not with rest of us.<br />
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<i>“You know what? If my fate was really written in the stars, then my sky will be starless. We will be gazing at an absolute darkness. And I won’t have the power to move a single star from one point to another or even make meteors rain. I don’t like that idea. Do you? “</i><br />
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This is how she differs from the others. When people look at the stars, they see what is written for them, what is coming. They read the relative positions of celestial bodies, and extract information about their personality, human affairs and other "earthly" matters. They look for portents, for astrological signs, and conclude that these directly influence their life on Earth or correspond to events experienced on a human scale. No. She doesn’t think that way. For her, they are nothing but gaseous balls of energy, perpetually held in their orbits by an unseen force called gravity, and governed by the laws of the physical universe that is yet to be completely understood by man. Not something directly tied to her fate.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhH755Ek57EEXAyJcpAVb_DDF_jIuF1xWqK_th5Ri8Vh9ua3XWlWh5pXKxM11th02jWIPOlduur9OGVHYSa3-20iXLRavzYI54VAH1_c5usRu5b_BSdzf9pZVQyaeHUE6WETVa1usD-jAk/s1600/zodiac-astrology.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhH755Ek57EEXAyJcpAVb_DDF_jIuF1xWqK_th5Ri8Vh9ua3XWlWh5pXKxM11th02jWIPOlduur9OGVHYSa3-20iXLRavzYI54VAH1_c5usRu5b_BSdzf9pZVQyaeHUE6WETVa1usD-jAk/s400/zodiac-astrology.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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I, days ago, once confessed to her that ghosts always scare me. That I’m always thinking of the immediate possibility that they will appear on the mirror while taking my bath, or they will hold my hand on some dark and abandoned place. I asked her how to get rid of it.<br />
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<i>“You are afraid of ghosts because you need to. You are actually trading a greatly terrifying fear to a lesser one. ”</i><br />
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The rather confused I pleaded for an elaboration.<br />
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<i>“Looking on all the world's religions, you can always see this concept of afterlife, of Heaven, or Hell, or just anything in between. There is this idea of a soul, of spirit, or a second life. Have you ever wondered why? Because man has to grapple its greatest fear. The fear of death. And the concept of afterlife and a soul simply gives hope that man can survive death, that he can go beyond and conquer death, which is well, doesn't have to be true. Well at least it can make him sleep better in the night. And this belief in ghosts is just another modern incarnate that remedies this ancient fear.”</i><br />
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I can feel my head aching during her lecture. The flood of details is suddenly too much for me. But honestly, it makes sense. Lots of sense.<br />
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She just loathes irrationality. Whatever form it will take. Superstitions. Folklore. Urban legends. Modern myths. Some unsound logic from the old people still caged by old and untimely thinking that they should have let go decades ago. At least on her opinion, they should have let them go decades ago.<br />
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<i>“She never believed in anything. She’s your neighbourhood skeptic</i>.”, a friend once told me about her. She is indeed, a modern girl. A product of logical discernment and fast-paced media teaching by a society that had long been freed itself from the shackles of modern folklore and urban legends. She abhors whatever thinking that her grandmother and the grandmothers before her had upheld to be true and valid. She would not think like them. At least, like most of them.<br />
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She will laugh at those who say that <i>pilay</i> (fracture) is the culprit when a child has fever, and that a <i>hilot</i> (massage) can remedy it, or that <i>alimuong</i> (rain dew) can cause stomach aches, so children need to drink water to circumventt it. She finds it stupid to think that people can catch cold during the rain, that gasoline can be used to get rid of lice, or calling house mice <i>“mabait”</i> (virtuous) will preclude them from tearing down the clothes, and that cursing them can result to a house interior tragedy. She laughs at the concept of <i>pasma,</i> or <i>naipit na ugat </i>(nerves stuck between muscle fibers)<i>,</i> citing these things doesn't even have a medical explanation, not even a medical term for them. And of course, she hates to think that fate is written in the stars, and that it can be read.<br />
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But if ever her fate was really written in the stars, then, she is destined to live. There, the irrationalities, which she terribly loathes, played its crucial role.<br />
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Twenty-four years ago, her mother was diagnosed to be pregnant. When she is just a few millimeters big, when her primitive organs are just beginning to form inside her mother's womb and her first heartbeats are just starting to thump. It was a great blow to her mom. No. They don’t need one more child. Much less a daughter. Her family planned only for two children. A third child is definitely out of the way. Depression overwhelmed her mother. As misery went down to her, judgment and care melted down as well. Then she mother decided, her daughter had to be liquidated. Literally.<br />
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She went on with the plan. She gulped a litter of ice-cold Coca-Cola each day, followed with a dose of Cortal, a local brand of aspirin, thrice on a daily basis, trying to overdose herself, on the hope that this child clutching dearly for life and survival will be eliminated by the lethal combination of these two ingredients, and be carried along with the blood and gut that she will soon bring out.<br />
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Well, at least at those periods, her mother thought it's fatal. <br />
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It was the old times. Two and a half decades ago. When Marcos had just left Malacañan Palace and disco was still popular. The age of urban legends.<br />
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It was the time when people believe that a White Lady was the real cause behind car accidents at the <i>Balite</i> Drive, horrifying (or worse, hitchhiking with) drivers during the night; or that a humongous snake lurking at the Robinson's Galleria Mall is gobbling up its customers in fitting rooms, and that actress Alice Dixon was once violated there.<br />
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Those were the days when they deemed that a <i>Manananggal</i> is terrorizing some parts of Metro Manila, and to further the news, that a task force was formed to hunt it down; or that the <i>siopao’s</i> from Ongpin has feline meat for fillings. The time when newspapers bear headlines of women giving birth to mud fishes (or lizard, frog, or snake), or of <i>siokoy’s</i> (mermen) swimming in the Pasig River, hunting for small children for dinner.<br />
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The time when Filipinos were convinced that the owners of Proctor and Gamble are Satanists, that their success was attributed to a deal with the Devil, and that they are funding a Satanic Church; or that Imelda Marcos sacrificed young children's lives during the construction of San Juanico Bridge, to guarantee the strength of the structure.<br />
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And of course, it was the time when people were susceptible to believe that a combination of Coca-Cola and Cortal can knock out an unborn child from the womb. Her mother is one of those people.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2pia178AQAsPhH-ktGzmXxOx6VHwC2UfXp-16LknAABHRYowifL68zMLIpD3aLVccpxunNA-ti2PaeOr17Z7137DhXoC_T3x56FZnrvbcuL-sjFf3g2CgkJSQPzAh2vfelIr9PZ-zEZ24/s1600/Aspirin_%25282247084833%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2pia178AQAsPhH-ktGzmXxOx6VHwC2UfXp-16LknAABHRYowifL68zMLIpD3aLVccpxunNA-ti2PaeOr17Z7137DhXoC_T3x56FZnrvbcuL-sjFf3g2CgkJSQPzAh2vfelIr9PZ-zEZ24/s320/Aspirin_%25282247084833%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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For months her mother would bombard herself with bottles after bottles of the cold soda drink and dozes of the aspirin, but to no avail. There were occasions of stomach aches, moderate pain, and cramping, but no miscarriages. No blood coming out from her. The child endured. Life had prevailed. Her daughter survived her desperate and diabolic, and somewhat pointless design. All thanks to these old wives tales and modern folklore. For the next few months before she was born, her mother had a broken heart. Only to be mended when she finally came out to this world. And her mother noticed, it was a beautiful face.<br />
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<br />
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Until now, I know, she, her daughter, is still grappling with that reality. Possibly, it's the reason behind those glances. She's carrying the gravity within her. She turned those blank stares to me. Her eyes are asking questions. Questions that yet have to be answered. And oh, yeah, I remembered, she's asking me a question.<br />
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<i>“What do you think?”</i><br />
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I don't know what to answer. I don't know how to respond. But in my mind, I believe I have an answer: Probably, that's the reason why her skies are not starless at all. Probably that's the reason why we were not looking at an absolute darkness. Because the stars had decided. She will live. It was, and has always been, her destiny.Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-20678886105791114332010-10-09T19:57:00.005+08:002011-08-03T18:41:25.653+08:00When Impermanence is God<i>Continuation to <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/10/ephemeral-dreams-in-transient-worlds.html">Ephemeral Dreams in Transient Worlds</a></i>.<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0vaRHvu9lhOYfmUj22GFppONM0RD-dVOX727ueEHgYgV1nnJ3i49CZuUiaR0_l1AVIhZ6z5wmHpiEdPXguT_GgSXbAn3QlR7t2hvPhZf0_OyeUJbw-Md4xqnfp0Vc9lunHNRmS_4rcQGv/s1600/2434299852_f3c68f1d3b_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0vaRHvu9lhOYfmUj22GFppONM0RD-dVOX727ueEHgYgV1nnJ3i49CZuUiaR0_l1AVIhZ6z5wmHpiEdPXguT_GgSXbAn3QlR7t2hvPhZf0_OyeUJbw-Md4xqnfp0Vc9lunHNRmS_4rcQGv/s640/2434299852_f3c68f1d3b_o.jpg" width="424" /></a></div><br />
I woke up one peaceful Sunday morning on our Batangas Villa, and face the outside world through my window. On both sides of me are two sliding Vigan panes, complete with Capiz shells and strewn wood and all, an in front of me is a view of a vast green rice field illuminated by the sun's early morning ray, complete with trees and old <i>nipa</i> huts in the distance and grazing cows and goats, while I sipped the hot, thick cocoa milk from the thick, transparent glass. Then I told myself, “This is the life. I love this. Honestly.”<br />
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And then in a split second, I'm back to reality.<br />
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I was transported back to the MRT train going to Ortigas, facing the thick plastic windows showing the Quezon Avenue skyline flooded by skylights and urban signs and advertisements. Reminiscing is over. I know, I won't be in that Batangas Villa forever.<br />
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Impermanence is God. It's the Rule. It's the Constant. Nothing stands still. Everything comes to pass. <br />
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Just a year ago I lost a brother, trusted ally, and best friend. After months of grueling battle to cancer, he decided it's time to go, though I wouldn't like to think he lost to it. His body might have been succumbed to it, but his spirit is as tough as ever. But there he goes. He went on. Though we thought we will grow old drinking beer with large guts and fathering sons and wear eye-glasses altogether. It didn't happen.<br />
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Impermanence. <br />
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And a few weeks I know someone who was recently betrayed by her friend (for money), which is also her confidant and her ally. And she felt bad about. Cursing fate and asking the heavens why this is supposed to happen. Anyway. She completely lost a friend. A good one.<br />
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Impermanence.<br />
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And just this year, a loved one sailed away from me. At this point, I never know why did she do that. Why would she do that. Up to now, I'm still running away from pain. From scars. From mortal wounds.<br />
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Impermanence.<br />
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All of us, at some point, lost something in our lives. A trusted friend. A love one. A relative. A high-paying job. Money. Family. Faith. .An opportunity. A nice house. A chance to fix things. A good gadget. An enemy. A hard earned prize. Time. Health. Happiness. Salvation. Something we pursue. A victory. An endeavor. Hope. Ideals. ideas. Principles. Dreams. Anything of value. Anything we value. <br />
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<br />
More than six years ago I dreamed of becoming a Journalist. I dreamed of writing and composing and editing so that the world may have something sensible to read. I dreamed of walking into the office as one of the pillars that upholds whatever this democracy believes to be true and supreme. I dreamed of seeing my name glaring under one socio-politically relevant article. Galvanizing public opinion. Swaying beliefs. Provoking ideas that had long been settled either due to political complacency or social apathy. Starting chaos so that it can breed life because order had given birth to habit. To shake the world so that mountains may move.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnZAUKDbEbzoZf4Rx4yuDWRIu4S20O9TaC8rGIVkfInub5Jt6uQHQwEjNR5BT9ax8Zu7POg0E89lDygzceAKb3S7XQKXnwyEH3VdAt2jThvURbd8K8_uNmSlIWg4CAoEr1MOxj6Z_EnjFi/s1600/688newspaper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnZAUKDbEbzoZf4Rx4yuDWRIu4S20O9TaC8rGIVkfInub5Jt6uQHQwEjNR5BT9ax8Zu7POg0E89lDygzceAKb3S7XQKXnwyEH3VdAt2jThvURbd8K8_uNmSlIWg4CAoEr1MOxj6Z_EnjFi/s320/688newspaper.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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But the times are a-changing. If you'll ask Bob Dylan (and if you ever knew who Bob Dylan is), he wouldn't say anything different. Sometimes we have to give up our dreams because the world doesn't need it anymore. Or at least, our world doesn't need it anymore. Time never stood still, its ever-changing landscape shifts, folds, bends, and cracks. And as slaves of time, we too have to change, vary, adapt, adjust, and survive. <br />
<br />
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I walk into the Floor on ungodly hours, sit on my station, and face my flat screen monitor, which will be my window to a world 8,000 miles away. There, my life will begin. Not the one I dreamed of six years ago. Probably, in the next six years to come, I'll have entirely different office again. An entirely different dream. An entirely different life.<br />
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Impermanence is God.Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-4334087419477383612010-10-03T07:38:00.003+08:002011-04-10T02:24:02.074+08:00Ephemeral Dreams in Transient Worlds<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0pdiJPkRMWNe5mW6jAQR1GFHNUbgr7EuDbGa-YYysS-iCB1bHext1rHRhGK7yhIsHAeo3xPDAdNdPGoePvD5Tn7mzjtSF74toKFk9KmyBXUot-OIYAQSP3Jid5ruH5hSjyfF0LMpIGBX/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0pdiJPkRMWNe5mW6jAQR1GFHNUbgr7EuDbGa-YYysS-iCB1bHext1rHRhGK7yhIsHAeo3xPDAdNdPGoePvD5Tn7mzjtSF74toKFk9KmyBXUot-OIYAQSP3Jid5ruH5hSjyfF0LMpIGBX/s640/images.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I watched “The Soloist” one night. And as I stated in my Facebook page, it was a “wickedly impressive” movie. I was hooked up. From its opening theme (where reporter Steve Lopez played by Robert Downey JR. starts his day), it was already engaging. Then there was the bicycle accident, and his encounter with the schizophrenic musical prodigy Nathaniel Ayers (played by Jamie Fox). <br />
<br />
<br />
Before you get bored, this is not a movie review. Just hang on tight.<br />
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<br />
And why do I love this? For one, Iron Man and Ray Charles are in this movie. You don’t usually see these guys in one frame. But also, it gives me a glimpse of a world I once looked forward to. <br />
<br />
<br />
Steve Lopez works for Los Angeles Times. His specialty is to write stories with human elements weaved on them, ranging from transient cellists to societies of Atheist who “non-worships and non-gathers”. And Nathaniel Ayers, a homeless musician living on the shade of a Ludwig Van Beethoven statue and playing a violin with only two strings and still sounds like someone with PhD is playing it, is his latest topic. Lopez would travel on his car, asks random questions and record his senseless scribbles of speech on his recorder along the way. Then a day later he would produce an article packed with sagacity and meaning on the left side of LA Time’s front page. Nice job. For me it’s a nice job.<br />
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It is my dream. WAS my dream. To be a journalist. To be someone who writes about someone who cares about something but so innate and hidden they couldn’t tell the world about it. To be someone who walks into the office where papers stacks like the Empire State Building, articles pile perpetually, where deadlines fly like the speed of light, where phone calls were made to people you don’t know and probably would never know in your entire life so you can extract information from, where people talks about the current geo-political climate or the latest bullshits in their office two to three cubicles apart, where gritty principles and noble beliefs are free and put on the paper while sipping black, sugarless coffee from a ceramic mug. This is the office I dreamed of. Where chaotic organization is the rule and magnified conversation with your officemates (two to three cubicles apart) is the lifeblood. A place where democracy is inexistent, so that the external world can enjoy it.<br />
<br />
<br />
But this is not my office.<br />
<br />
<br />
My office is a carpeted, 200 square-meter wide, walk-in freezer cold, call centre production room called “The Floor”, which I share with the rest of the other 70 employees, more or less. The Floor is clean, organized, dotted by computer stations in cubicles placed side by side, one after another. It is clean, no towering paper works, organized, no loud chats, only the small, private buzzes of its employee conversing in thick and sleek American accents. Though coffee mugs in all sizes are all around the office. I'll walk in there on ungodly hours, sit on my station, and face my flat screen monitor, which will be my window to a world 8,000 miles away. There, my life begins.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdLroS06hYpNQIkgWYeTrDHgQNt8NrIyfZBoMhF8L_yJWIl0igSfBo75d4BEi-bPAHxSrDf2FrlNGtCra-Vv1rA03OwNWhGNedl-BC1dpU0_4i6WdsR8bMXnSKw2su6grsGYIlR09avBJ3/s1600/ccll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdLroS06hYpNQIkgWYeTrDHgQNt8NrIyfZBoMhF8L_yJWIl0igSfBo75d4BEi-bPAHxSrDf2FrlNGtCra-Vv1rA03OwNWhGNedl-BC1dpU0_4i6WdsR8bMXnSKw2su6grsGYIlR09avBJ3/s320/ccll.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<i>Continuation on <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/10/when-impermanence-is-god_4033.html">When Impermanence is God</a></i>.Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-62632493446271649112010-02-07T12:46:00.003+08:002011-08-03T18:05:53.760+08:00First Call<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimiPTGqaZ5tWsSQxzuKMPURukASZ3VQRHI8TlCUmyZd2rLftQ_UZSLovYc4ClfdCARZ-RVxifUol2ENc1CGeHFdlYXnUg-ZPmAn4qOAeFvNVVQdEG7w6h_yR5CBdt2b6l1TdZaAoScsVWJ/s1600/phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="387" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimiPTGqaZ5tWsSQxzuKMPURukASZ3VQRHI8TlCUmyZd2rLftQ_UZSLovYc4ClfdCARZ-RVxifUol2ENc1CGeHFdlYXnUg-ZPmAn4qOAeFvNVVQdEG7w6h_yR5CBdt2b6l1TdZaAoScsVWJ/s640/phone.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />
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</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">“There are two moments in life where you are totally alone. One is when you are dead. And the other is when you are going to give a speech”</span></div><br />
-Oscar Wilde<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>That’s only one of Wilde’s immortal quotations. A great philosopher, thinker, writer, and declaimer that he is, certainly he is the best person to create a perfect metaphor on the scenarios of solitude.<br />
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Bur if only Oscar Wilde had been a Customer Service Representative (or a Call Center Agent, as the greater proportion of the society would generically call it), he would not go as far as giving a speech, or for Pete’s sake – being dead – just to describe what “being alone” really means. Having the first call is more than enough.<br />
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It was nine o’clock in the morning. While the sun is shining benevolently on the urban paradise known as Makati, giving the atmosphere of hope to its inhabitants, I am sitting inside the air-conditioned 8th floor room of our building, having cold hell. After a month of grammar drills, customer service preparations, communication enhancement exercises, and product knowledge trainings, I have come to this singular moment that will determine whether I am cut for the job or just a desperate piece of hopeless crap trying to fit myself in. The first call.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-AslQHzmDBXFd9K5qIEmpYpg5k18RWzf7h4Imlo7it8VYx3prteyaMhVxrySeM6XBBCVh8s5UazZ5IjxR_5m0jywWdKlGUeNesLIEByTCUBekYyY0UlR5-wDFALUrNgWBnCGr0L-RErb0/s1600/call+sad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-AslQHzmDBXFd9K5qIEmpYpg5k18RWzf7h4Imlo7it8VYx3prteyaMhVxrySeM6XBBCVh8s5UazZ5IjxR_5m0jywWdKlGUeNesLIEByTCUBekYyY0UlR5-wDFALUrNgWBnCGr0L-RErb0/s320/call+sad.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiPWk5v23MKsefkfDHaXiJvOVGmXYhij9PbV0I_icJleS8_m3ydVrAOAnT58WlAOuDcM_YlqVYTj6-CEC5CVDjZZm6M2EWYY0qykdg-r6seB4-aMVl3Nxdc6b19fFxPZMLU9xmFeC0heSM/s1600/98108188.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div><br />
No, it’s not the usual, scripted, by-the-book, mock calls that we used to have where we talk to our trainers who will twist their accent just to give the feel that you are talking to a foreign customers, or the QA’s trying to be irate just to give the impression of the real thing. This time, it’s a real foreigner, from a foreign land, with a foreign culture, barrelling me with an equally foreign problem that only God knows whether I have the capacity to address or not. <br />
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Even Melory, though the top agent that she is, couldn’t even give me the presence of help. It’s either she didn’t give the help that I needed or she only distracted me (Women!). I wore the headset; she pushed the “Auto-In” button on the phone, and I heard a beeping sound, which means a call is coming.<br />
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Back in the olden times, a loud trumpet sound roaring through a kingdom means that a furious, revolting, and raging enemy is coming to raise hell, crush its mettle, and take glory from it. The beeping sound is not very different. It means that a furious, revolting, and raging customer is calling to raise hell, crush your mettle, and take (money) credits from you.<br />
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After that sound, I know, I am alone. I don’t have anyone. It’s just me and this customer. No one else. I am alone. There is no turning back. Great men from history never turn their backs. So I am.<br />
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<i>“THANK YOU FOR CALLING. THIS IS RYAN. I CAN’T HELP YOU TODAY. DROP THE CALL NOW. LEAVE ME ALONE. I WANT TO GO HOME. I DON’T KNOW YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!!"</i><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz3v48TZC9NDjKuoaTP-ugh4ckRv2H3sSyu0H45UEQxG92ii7Z87yx128xA2KO0PkODtBdokygh-V3tH2R-8T3svdZi8NqnsK5I-SdgnhMdcjSb2Sm3bMKeSyGEe67kUWvpYFymJUC5MMs/s1600/cry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz3v48TZC9NDjKuoaTP-ugh4ckRv2H3sSyu0H45UEQxG92ii7Z87yx128xA2KO0PkODtBdokygh-V3tH2R-8T3svdZi8NqnsK5I-SdgnhMdcjSb2Sm3bMKeSyGEe67kUWvpYFymJUC5MMs/s1600/cry.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><i> </i><i> </i><br />
Honestly, I want to go with my spiel like this. But I know I can’t. It doesn’t only sound stupid; it looks so obscene as well. So I went on with my usual, energetic, and rattling spiel:<br />
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<i>“THANK YOU FOR CALLING. THIS IS RYAN. HOW MAY I HELP YOU TODAY?”</i><br />
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I waited for the customer at the end of the line to speak, everything is scary. Then it answered. It sounds like an otherworldly language from an unknown land. Only to find out it’s English. I can’t understand anything. She started talking about some numbers and words, but my hands won’t move to type the keys. Time stopped. Everything went dark. From that moment I have only one dismal conclusion: I’m going to mess this call. Shit happens.<br />
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<i>“The customer wants to check her account, get her phone number.”</i><br />
<br />
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<br />
No it wasn’t my customer. The voice isn’t from my headset. It came from someone physically there for me. It was Melory, sitting beside me, listening to the call, and ready to give a helping hand. Her round eyes behind her eye glasses seem to say “What the hell are you worrying about? The top agent’s here. I am here” And from that moment I instantly knew. Hope has come. (Ahh! Women!!!)<br />
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<br />
It turned out that I was talking to an agent also, asking information about a customer. Melory supplied what I am going to ask, and what I am going to say, with me articulating it with the smoothest American accent my tongue can produce. A puppeteer and her puppet on its work. Inch by inch we carried out.<br />
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<i>“There’s always the first time.” </i><br />
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She said after the call.<br />
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<br />
<i>“My first call was also rattling.”</i><br />
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But deep inside I know I’m not rattled. I’m terrorized.<br />
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<br />
My first call wasn’t something to be proud of. It almost became a mess. Thanks to Melory. I thought I would be a smooth flow of conversation between two people from different land, but from the sound of it, it more sounds like a hostage negotiation. Full of misstatements and misunderstandings. But that will not me prevent me from going on, especially there are people like her who will always give that “What the hell are you worrying about? I am here.” feeling, until come that day when I will no longer need it. Until come that day when it’s my turn to give that kind of help to other agents who needs to survive their first call.Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-25547083415072079442010-02-07T12:44:00.001+08:002013-01-26T11:35:03.304+08:00Adam Creed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDSZjGqFJnn4L-grQnFYMqkzP5QeRw6nJH5TI-1_Btr0ZdsTn5EtZaxnSZKoI18ppoPRM4yvsdKCQQtkFCOs9fnfEqUGxJQIjESoQkT3RblpqtIMtOjj9zdqvuh57KaPO1QmVJzuFY7qPi/s1600/michealangelo%2527s+adam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="513" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDSZjGqFJnn4L-grQnFYMqkzP5QeRw6nJH5TI-1_Btr0ZdsTn5EtZaxnSZKoI18ppoPRM4yvsdKCQQtkFCOs9fnfEqUGxJQIjESoQkT3RblpqtIMtOjj9zdqvuh57KaPO1QmVJzuFY7qPi/s640/michealangelo%2527s+adam.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I believe in Man and in his Destiny.<br />
In the Daughters of Adam, and<br />
the Sons of Eve.<br />
I believe in his Compassion,<br />
in his Courage, in his Intellect.<br />
And in his Potential and Resolve<br />
to alter Fate,<br />
however clouded and hard it may be.<br />
<br />
I believe that in Weakness,<br />
he will find Strength;<br />
In Confusion, he will Understand;<br />
In Suffering, he will earn Peace.<br />
Though how fragile and delicate,<br />
He can persist and prevail.<br />
<br />
I believe in his Laws and Principles.<br />
<br />
In his Science and Inventions.<br />
I believe in his Ethics and Righteousness<br />
To use them, not for ruin.<br />
But for the good of all.<br />
I believe in Man.<br />
<br />
<br />
And Man alone.Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-71430054229046572672010-02-07T12:36:00.009+08:002013-01-26T11:34:38.886+08:00The Talented Mr. De Guzman<span style="font-style: italic;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGHPC39XkfJjYBLtgDfyqGMUan9zz-CzFsfFA2hYEIbdKHTKu4jm83un6D4SWEwOSxdk8zdtnqWiFlXcpCD-QR2-JYJQV8r9DprUgwjKmWn1pUE2EmYNjfjuKY_cCUo880tUOW70Adf7KY/s1600/RehearsalNotes_04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGHPC39XkfJjYBLtgDfyqGMUan9zz-CzFsfFA2hYEIbdKHTKu4jm83un6D4SWEwOSxdk8zdtnqWiFlXcpCD-QR2-JYJQV8r9DprUgwjKmWn1pUE2EmYNjfjuKY_cCUo880tUOW70Adf7KY/s640/RehearsalNotes_04.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>“The super carrier, USS Enterprise is the world's first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier and the eighth U.S. Naval vessel to bear the name. It has a power projection of 20,000 miles radius…”</i><br />
<i> </i><i> </i><br />
<br />
<br />
This was what I saw glaring in my brother's computer monitor during a visit (actually an emergency errand) to his house. I went there summoning his almighty aid (and sacrificing my Thesis Class) for a Public Relations Plan assignment.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
To his (and his wife's) surprise, I arrived there with hardly any research at all. I was there ready to make a pair of shoes out of shoe laces. Another classic case of “silly younger brother did not use his brain again”.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
But still, my brother taught me. It was part-breakfast talk, part-business lecture, and part-class discussion. As a whole, it was the Sermon on the Mount Zion.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I’d almost developed a growing interest on this field (which I know will not progress because of my dysfunctional propensity towards mathematics). At the end of the Sermon, he told me:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>“You should have taken Business (Management. Or any goddamn course connected to it) instead.”</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Of course, as what would a full pledge Servant of Journalism with iron-clad faith to its principles and tenets will do, I retracted with great pride and tremendous courage:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>“I can't. I am into writing. This is my talent. I was born with this. It’s innate in me.”</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
But my brother is not ready to give up. In his usual, arrogant, pragmatic, downplaying, I-presume-you-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about-kid-so-you’d-better-go-home tone, he unleashed his counter-attack (in his usual, thick, fluent American-English accent, of course):<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>“So you think you have talent in writing? And it’s innate in you?</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>“Yes!”</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I answered, gulping my saliva through my throat. The great pride and tremendous courage I possessed seemed to evolve into some microscopic, insignificant entity. Or maybe it had gone with my saliva.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>“Whoever told you that talent is innate; introduce him to me. Or better yet, just tell him ‘Go and take a hike.’.”</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And next is a discourse that gradually (and painfully) debacles my hard-earned beliefs. Principles that I had held-on during my entire learning years. I am a block of ice facing the desert sun.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>“People are not born with talent in them. Each human being is born with only a single trait called urge. During his primitive years, this is the only thing he holds on. The urge to survive. The urge to live. The urge to learn. The urge to dominate above all living things.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>"As man progresses, this urge turns to learning. Learning becomes knowledge. This knowledge turns into habit. And, through life long practice and serious mastery, this habit turns into talent. It gives you the illusion that you are born with it because it somehow gotten into you. You mastered it and made it your second nature.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>"Because of this urge, man was able to create many things to secure his place among other species and among other men as well. He was able to create something like the USS Enterprise. This sanctimonious macro-machine has a power-projection of 20,000 miles radius. Meaning it can nuke out and literary liquidate anything(or anyone) within its 20,000-mile radius. Talent alone cannot do that. The urges do.”</i><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84rh0A0LhCiHVpluF99cFQTL10mnvUxfhzE-r2wcgdsQhH2SH12ztxFGwr_imlMlvQ8YAlFBYNAsRvt1RGy_IBZGKGniVlPqk9d6ElFkGhhtNSBv5ul1wfMaAxrC9-cO5gKbs99ianxJC/s1600/USS_Enterprise_CVN-65_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84rh0A0LhCiHVpluF99cFQTL10mnvUxfhzE-r2wcgdsQhH2SH12ztxFGwr_imlMlvQ8YAlFBYNAsRvt1RGy_IBZGKGniVlPqk9d6ElFkGhhtNSBv5ul1wfMaAxrC9-cO5gKbs99ianxJC/s640/USS_Enterprise_CVN-65_1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<i></i><br />
<br />
<br />
It may be hard to admit, but he has lot of reasons to say that.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Nick de Guzman, a six-foot something mountain of muscle, packs better genes, and pride of our family, is a product of the Corporate World. From being a humble graduate of Computer Programming, he had gone through gazillions of seminars, workshops and other tedious trainings. He had jumped from one field to another, from Computer Sciences, to Information Technology, to Marketing Stratagems, to Corporate Management, to Business, to Financial Disciplines, at the same time hoping from one country to another, training other Asians in the same field (who would ironically someday rule over us, economically and geopolitically speaking).<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The Corporate World, being ruled with corporate Big-Whigs, expert bureaucrats, and financially-inclined peddlers, do not care with people who have talents, those possessing innate but limited skills. What matters to them are those who can, and who will do different range of things at command. People who had amassed different skills through experience. Versatility and multi-tasking is the keyword here. Talent is only something you can put to your curriculum vitae to make it look good. But everything in the real work is beyond the paper.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It is the urge. The urge to survive the Corporate Jungle. The urge to live its ways and expectations. The urge to learn its mechanics and working systems. And the urge to dominate this domain, above everyone else. These are the things that matters most.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
After a few minutes of head-aching, nose-bleeding thinking and meditation, I finally made my PR Plan, with hardly any research at all. I made shoes out of shoe-laces. At least I can declare to myself, with great pride and tremendous courage, I am talented.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I believe I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH6y993K3ED-fYvYqHtwFP-7dyWs2ruXWp8echw79T7_zlszN4Udu3cuupkS7JRWwfXHgYkAzvT4J0rJLy7z9jUDb9PIIx7bCUxSOIJxtsqgfainXARtP6l3ydPLRp90uo7cUxuFHSvm9b/s1600/ACC-LACES-FLAT137-2T.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH6y993K3ED-fYvYqHtwFP-7dyWs2ruXWp8echw79T7_zlszN4Udu3cuupkS7JRWwfXHgYkAzvT4J0rJLy7z9jUDb9PIIx7bCUxSOIJxtsqgfainXARtP6l3ydPLRp90uo7cUxuFHSvm9b/s400/ACC-LACES-FLAT137-2T.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><b>For more about career paths and career confusions, check <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/10/ephemeral-dreams-in-transient-worlds.html">Ephemeral Dreams in Transient Worlds</a> and its continuation, <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/10/when-impermanence-is-god_4033.html">When Impermanence is God</a>.</b></i>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-57541581465404321582010-02-07T12:32:00.002+08:002013-01-26T11:34:02.499+08:00Riddle of God<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><br />
<i>"I love God… that’s why I’m doing this. Send this to fifteen of the most special persons in your phonebook in your before December 15. Don’t ignore. If you fail, you will lose the most special person in your life. If you really love God… you will send this."</i><br />
<br />
A friend sent me this text message from a few days ago. I was in a jeep on the way to my classmate; I almost fall from my seat when I read this. This was just one of the few "Send this if you love God" text messages that constantly barrages my sophisticated, state-of the-art Nokia 3310 (courtesy of my nephew). But this one goes to the extreme.<br />
<br />
The text message looks like a harmless test of faith. It only wants me to express my deep devotion to God by disseminating them to fifteen friends, the way you send your "quotable quotes" by the likes of Majin Boo, Manny Paquiao, and panty napkins to every person in your phonebook (If you hadn’t received any of these messages, you must be living under a rock). Everyone will agree, loving Him is a must for every person. I can hear the faithfuls now saying in chorals "Wouldn’t you care to give a few push of the buttons for Him?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiES3je98tqqI6MER-4rA437fP4WkkzAJVgxXr62fPRdYFSsFsL7pKTUI8kdk1XjT7Iczjw_28Vlaiwz0LLGAkqUp7v4prHzVRnHhvoo64S8WvsH4Aba3Dcdl_Fz55Zz4czCoFprhbTzMoc/s1600/06_3ce6c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="491" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiES3je98tqqI6MER-4rA437fP4WkkzAJVgxXr62fPRdYFSsFsL7pKTUI8kdk1XjT7Iczjw_28Vlaiwz0LLGAkqUp7v4prHzVRnHhvoo64S8WvsH4Aba3Dcdl_Fz55Zz4czCoFprhbTzMoc/s640/06_3ce6c.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "Helvetica", sans-serif;">Remember, I gave you your fingers.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
But if God will really kill your most precious if you fail to send them to fifteen most special and gullible person in your phone book, if God will really liquidate the most important person in your life if you don’t do it until the December 15 due, If God will really nuke everything out if you don’t proclaim to the whole wide world that you really love Him, then God must be the most egoistic, malevolent, and murderous self-serving tyrant I’ve ever known. He alone can give shame to Nero, Adolf Hitler, and (our very own) Ferdinand Marcos combined and rolled together.<br />
<br />
Has God, through time, evolved into something like this? Had he become someone who wants to hear He is loved and executes everyone who didn’t? Goddamn it. Now I can see the sense of these words.<br />
<br />
When I saw the message and eventually think about it, it harks me back to the time when our zero to hero Robert Langdon still rocks (until Tom Hanks came in). In Angels and Demons, when Vittoria Vetra asked him if he believes in God, our humble symbologist categorically answered:<br />
<br />
<i>"I can’t see the sense of believing in a God who, in all His omnipotence, creates imperfect humans, and then sends them to hell for their faults"</i><br />
<br />
Well, perhaps, this is the biggest paradox of all. Who really is God? Some people (priests, preachers, Elie Soriano) will say they know Him. But, if all the mysteries the physical universe had possessed, with the biological complexities a single human cell has, and with astronomical mathematical figures like the Googol (number 1 followed by 100 zeros, not the search engine, you berth) or the Googolplex (number 1 followed by a Gogool of zeroes, makes me dizzy just thinking about it), each of these things is too big for the human comprehension, if God is greater than all of these combined, how can we say we know Him?<br />
<br />
Paradoxes, they are as complicated (and as answerable) as the concept of God itself. Good thing I had unlimited load that day, otherwise I could have not sent that! Whew! That was close!<br />
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<em><strong>If you want to know what God's greatest creation thinks about, check out <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/adam-creed.html">Adam Creed</a>, or what other God is ruling with us, in <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/10/when-impermanence-is-god_4033.html">When Impermanence is God</a>.</strong></em>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-43249681945081912142010-02-06T20:32:00.003+08:002013-01-26T11:33:21.997+08:00It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
It is one cold Monday night. As the pitch black darkness shrouds the gray earth outside, I am alone inside my house, vegetating in the comfort of my room, reading a good book, <i>Memnoch the Devil</i>. My favorite. There are many books in our shelf. Some even older than me. I even found one titled “The Language of Letting Go”. I find this crappy. Who cares about someone letting go someone? It’s already the dilemma of the possessive and the problem of the apathetic. Not mine.<br />
<br />
My love for the dark and the unknown has always been unquenched, and this book is just the right stuff for that thirst.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
But the dead silence of the night and the cold November wind is too strong. Sleepiness attacked me. And so I began my trip to the Land of Nod.<br />
<br />
But suddenly the phone broke the tranquillity of my mortal pre-slumber. Alarmed and disturbed, I managed to pick it up and say the usual “hello”.<br />
<br />
There is no answer.<br />
<br />
I realized it’s already two in the morning. The pranksters must be starting their silly modus operandi. So I decided to go back to bed.<br />
<br />
But even before I hit another sleep, the phone rang irritatingly again. So again, I answered.<br />
<br />
<i>“Hello?”</i><br />
<br />
The line crackled, and produced some weird noise. An otherworldly sound. I recognized it’s a “hello”. It sounds as if I’m talking to a walkie-talkie, or a transistor radio. But whatever it is, the voice was familiar. Eerily familiar. I don’t want to think it that way, but I can’t be wrong. Chill starts to crawl up my spine.<br />
<br />
It's that Thing again.<br />
<br />
In a desperate attempt, I resort to hide my self in to some other identity. I changed my voice. Sounding braver.<br />
<br />
<i>“Hello?”</i><br />
<br />
Then it hung up. It knows I’m here.<br />
<br />
I can’t move. Fear strikes me. I must get out of this house. Go somewhere else. To my friend perhaps. That Thing is only somewhere else, or more proximal than I think. And it will wreck its way here in my domicile before I knew it. And when that happens, I can’t imagine what will happen next.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuUGVY8pvp42RBdhkGKUdqKx19JgAhAX5Jvkfszp9OHwujhMnDi6uHARLtj327K5EKjnO_v0lh_R9tiN5EnKMHhliW69sZ2JNWd1Oz2PShv4ZFMcIRn0vrObzKpK-jNjYgYWoZqAX8Ds-X/s1600/woman_shadow315.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuUGVY8pvp42RBdhkGKUdqKx19JgAhAX5Jvkfszp9OHwujhMnDi6uHARLtj327K5EKjnO_v0lh_R9tiN5EnKMHhliW69sZ2JNWd1Oz2PShv4ZFMcIRn0vrObzKpK-jNjYgYWoZqAX8Ds-X/s320/woman_shadow315.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I dressed in thick clothes, and left. I hit the dark and murky road, praying that I will not crossed roads with it. Or any of its shadows.<br />
<br />
Finally, I reached my friend’s abode. I open the gates (I unnoticeably left it opened), run the yard, and ring the doorbell.<br />
<br />
Strangely and unfortunately, no one’s answering. <br />
<br />
The house is empty. No one’s home. <br />
<br />
<br />
Then I heard a metallic shrill behind me. Someone’s opening the gates wider. The thing tracked me there. Realizing my fate, I closed my eyes.<br />
<br />
<br />
“This is unexpected”. A familiar voice spoke.<br />
<br />
<br />
I turned on to see that is. It is my friend. He went out to buy some cigarettes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">“So. She’s still bothering you, right?”</span><br />
<br />
<br />
I just smiled, realizing I am safe, at least now. But he’s right. There’s no worse than running away from an ex-girlfriend. She’s possessive, selfish, and adamant. I am, on the other hand, apathetic, indifferent, and lethargic. These combined, all hell will break loose. Worse than any nightmare anyone could think of. Letting go isn’t just anyone’s problem. It’s my problem.<br />
<br />
It is one cold Monday night. As the pitch black darkness shrouds the gray earth outside, I am at my friend’s house. Cold. Trembling. Safe. But only for now. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow, or in the days to follow, the haunting starts anew.<br />
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<i><b>If you liked this article, check out <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/10/stargazers-under-starless-skies.html">Stargazers Under The Starless Skies</a> for more about threading the night. And speaking of the night, find out why Batman is awesome on <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-human_14.html">Only Human</a>.</b></i>Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-44739691199238162712010-02-06T20:23:00.001+08:002011-08-03T18:35:22.866+08:00Pandora's Box<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br />
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The past few days had not been so nice to me. An illness attacked me. I’m somewhere between having a bronchitis and having a pneumonia. And it had taken too much toll on me. Night chills, heavy feeling, and a chest pain that feels like someone has tap danced over my chest the other night. And most of all, I failed to join our theater workshop, more particularly, the Tanay outing (it’s a great blow to me, you bet). A friend called me "weakling", but it doesn’t cut it. Even Muhammad "The Perfect Human Specimen" Ali had pneumonia once, what chance would I have?<br />
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And while the rest of thespians were enjoying sixty kilometres away in that rustic and untamed paradise called Tanay, I was in my house feeling the metaphorical and cold prison cell of this illness. I’m trapped in my house. And so, with nothing to do, I piled myself under - no, not blankets - but books. Yes. I read. Anything. Old pocketbooks, magazines, high school essays, college papers, old song hits, DVD cover summaries, pamphlets. Anything that can feed my head and kill boredom, I read.<br />
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Not too long when my materials were exhausted, so I searched through drawers and old stockpiles for any other book that I hadn’t read yet. Deep within the recesses of my cabinet, I found something. Wrapped inside a white plastic bag, it was an orange card board box. Not so big, about 8 x 10 inches in size. It had been there for four years now, untouched, unvisited, and unearthed. Then a flood of memories came, and it came like crashing dominoes.<br />
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An ex-girlfriend gave this box near the end of high school years when we broke off, that’s four years ago. She did not have a graceful exit, nor did I. The relationship was fantastic at first, seemed like "Tristan and Isolde". But then it had become tragic in the end, more like "Alien vs. Predator". She gave this souvenir. It contained a broken picture frame, torn pictures, shattered CD’s, and other memorabilia that had gone through otherworldly disorientations. She had given me this as a souvenir, a constant and friendly reminder of how malignant, heartless and callous monster I was. Something I don’t personally think I really am. Nice gift.<br />
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Now the box lay in front of me. My plan was to throw it to just vegetate in the comfort of our garbage can. I don’t want to open it. Fearing that her wrath would come out and haunt me again, much like the Pandora’s Box. Is it guilt? Is it weakness? Am I really a "weakling"? I don’t really know. But I had to face this fear, or i wouldn’t get out of it. As what the diminutive Saiyan prince had put it, "What fails to kill you, makes you stronger". So I pulled the "Pandora’s Box", unwrapped, and opened it.<br />
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No wrath came out. No haunting. Just a bunch of things that I regret I had not paid much importance in my high school years. A stained "Pinakamagandang Script" sash (yes, I won this in my second year for writing "Florante’t Laura"), torn pictures of our field trip in Subic (much like a jigsaw puzzle), torn pictures of our high school escapades (also another jigsaw puzzle, but much more funnier), birthday cards (with one that read "Ryan! You are a year older now! But it looked three to you!") , among other things. No, I don’t see fear in the picture, not even guilt, something that she seemed to want me to see at that time. I saw only memories, things that remind me how happier I could be, if only I had paid more attention to them. My friends.<br />
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I returned the orange card board box neatly to the cabinet. Still wrapped in its white plastic bag, it looks much more the same, but it seemed to be different now. I forget the idea of throwing it. Who wants to throw memories? Especially when they are so long ago and beautiful. The box would lay there for, say four years again, or perhaps more. It will be brattled by years, or be yellowed by age. Or maybe time will totally decay it. Souvenirs are so fragile, so impermanent. Fortunately, memories are not. But by that time I can be sure I’m a different person, someone somewhat stronger, because I faced my fears, and they failed to kill me.Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4939753686336302259.post-9701189210392002962010-02-06T20:03:00.003+08:002013-01-26T11:32:01.264+08:00Sandman<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It started one hot morning, I just can’t remember exactly when. Everything is fine. Even the meal is fine. <i>Nilagang baka</i>, grilled hito, and a pitcher of ice cold soft drink, things that can remind you how great it is to live. And just like any good meal I encounter, I face them with utmost enthusiasm and enjoyment.<br />
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After that, my family began to prepare right away. They’re going somewhere else, to my uncle’s house in Laguna perhaps for a little family reunion. Not me. I hate family reunions. It’s so sissy. I have other plans. Iturned my attention to the stack of books in my table. Maybe I’d just read books. No, bad idea. “Read books. So you can read between the lines”, my brother would always say, but I won’t mind. There’s so much that I can do than waste my time on them.<br />
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Some two hours later and I’m on my way to school. I don’t have any classes, or any meetings clogging my schedule. What sent me there is for the gimmick. The breeze going through the jeep’s window is strong and cold, perhaps because of the speed, or because the -Ber months is approaching. But it was interrupted to allow some passengers to climb in. An old lady and her child, an office girl, and some common man who looks a lot like Richie The Horsey.<br />
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This man irritated me the most. He determinedly squeezed himself through the sited people in my front as he blows his smoke unceasingly. Then he pulled something from his short pants. No it wasn’t bills or coins. It’s something you don’t want anyone else to have inside a passenger jeep. It was a six-inch kitchen knife, something like the ones our mothers used when cutting meat. And based on his look to me, I’m his prey, and he wants to cut mine. At that moment I realized. Shit happens.<br />
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Scream and panic filled the jeep. Terror and fear filled me. And before I knew it, he already grabbed my arm, swaying his steel in front of me. Shining. Cold. Deadly. Though he’s not saying a word, I know he’s after my money. I realized I should have taken the LRT instead. It’s fast, air-conditioned, convenient, and pollution-free, and it only costs 15 pesos! Perhaps I wouldn’t be right here staring face to face with death himself.<br />
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I felt great fear at that time; I wouldn’t be ashamed to admit it. But what I saw in his eyes is greater fear. Yes! He’s afraid, too! Is it confusion? Is it desperation slowly devouring his sanity? Or is it the effect of the illegal substances that he injected in his veins finally taking him? I don’t know, and at that point, it doesn’t matter. What is certain now is that my fate hangs between being alive and ending up dead. And at this moment this man holds my fate. <br />
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Impatient, he decided quickly. Like a bolt out of the blue, he suddenly swung the knife to my defenseless side. I can feel the long dagger penetrate it. I don’t know why, but it didn’t hurt. It’s cold. It’s numb. I want to throw up. I want to collapse. The world revolved, and turned into a flash, then things went black. Consciousness finally escaped from me.<br />
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When consciousness returned, my heart is still pumping fast. I was in a room, and it’s so dark. No, it wasn’t a hospital room, no dextrose stand, no white walls. It’s something familiar. It was silent, very silent. Not a hush, not a sign of life. If this is afterlife finally, I have no idea.<br />
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Then I saw the clock, it’s already 7:30 pm, and I recognized the stacks of books. I’m still in my room. And my family hadn’t returned yet. I fell asleep. Damn it. Bad dream. I guess a heavy meal and an afternoon nap don’t go well. Well, my brother is kind of right, I should have read the books instead. Or better, join the family reunion. We won't be here forever.<br />
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For more about your safety, check out <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2011/01/10-things-you-should-know-when-someones.html">10 Things You Should Know When Someone's Blowing Off Our Buses</a>, or if it's already late at night, just go to bed, or you can read <a href="http://nevermorenonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/note-this-entry-has-been-created_06.html">It</a> before that.Ryan De Guzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03568522169001131560noreply@blogger.com0